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One of the woman I work with stopped me and asked if I would like to go out with the other woman in my section. There are six of them that every week they go out to dinner and have drinks. She said that they all discussed should they ask me, all of them have known me for years in my former male life so they kind of know what I am like. Any ways they all agreed that I should be asked. From the short chat with had it really sounds like it could very well be a good time and get in with these ladies. What is interesting is most of them are in their late to mid thirties which is much younger then me but that is not going to stop me from going out with them. I am very grateful that they did think about me and accepted me. On a side note I have noticed the difference in what woman talk to me about before and after transitioning in general, things I could only guess or even for that fact never guess. Like when I had my nails done in the past few months, the ladies there talk to me about those things that would never surface before I was Karen. So that is simply another aspect of a continuing journey and things to look forward too.

Today I went down because my mom wanted to talk to me about my brother doing homeschool with me. After our conversation I went to make some popcorn because popcorn is awesome. A few minutes later she then commented that her soap opera has a transgender in it. At this point I am nervous on how she would think of that. She then commented "That's disgusting. I guess they have to make it more modern. What has the world come to?" My heart instantly dropped. I quickly finished what I was doing in the kitchen and ran upstairs to my room. I am full of emotions right now. Angry, sad, confused. Right when I was starting to crawl out of the pit of depression, I sunk back in. My mom basically rejected me, and the worst part is that she doesn't know it.

Hey guys, what's up? My name is ARTistiColor but you can call me Art. So basically before I talk about anything crazy I just want to tell you why I named my blog 'My Mask' incase you are wondering why. I basically named it 'My Mask' is because even though I am talking freely about how I am transsexual, I am just a person hiding my true self behind my 'mask'. I have not come out to my family because I am scared of losing everyone I ever loved, having a deep dark hole that can not be filled ever again in my heart. But I guess that's everyone's fear, to feel alone and unwanted. So in this blog I will be talking about my experiences as a pre FTM, my goals, my views on things and transgender news! I found out I was transgender only a couple of months ago so I am still learning. One thing that really bothers me is that I haven't found a name that really pops out. I read that transgenders look in front of the mirror and say possible name choices and that they know when they found the right name for them. None of the names I listed really pop out at me. But don't worry! I won't give up! I have been thinking of calling myself Ash or Archer. I think their both really good names, but I don't know for sure if I want that to stick with me for the rest of my life... Anyways thanks for reading, hope you have a great day, and stay colorful! -Art