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So 3 updates as another week comes to an end... I met yesterday with our Dean and Associate Dean - it was a very positive, encouraging meeting. They proposed how to handle communicating my transition to my new name (and transition generally) to a broader audience (the students I work with directly, and then a general communication to the entire school which wouldn't identify me directly but would discuss the school's policies, etc. re transgender faculty/staff/students). They also made it clear that updating my email address wouldn't be an issue (officially there is a policy that it has to incorporate you legal first name). I also found out that our dean was one of the original drafters of the NYC administrative policy regarding TG employees (he was formerly chief counsel to Mayor Bloomberg). So he's kind of familiar with these matters! The Stonewall Girls meetup was last night, and this time I decided to go "as is." I usually would go home and get more en femme (wig, skirt, etc.), but now that feels too much like wearing a costume. It is an attempt to present as a woman, but not necessarily as me. It ended up being beneficial because it gave me a better sense of where exactly I am in terms of presentation. In the rest of the world the noticeable thing is that I'm doing feminine things with my look, but in a TG/CD group it's more noticeable that I still look partly like a guy. (It was described by one person there as "in between"). So I can use those meetups (every Thursday) as one way to gauge my progress, simply by committing to going "as me." Finally, and MOST important - my hair worked today I curled it this morning so that it would curl in towards the bottom, usually the wind blow is it out on my way in to work, but today it held!

Well ok you have, Caitlin Jenner in the US, and doesn't she look great on the cover of Vanity?. Here in the UK we have Kellie Maloney, formerly Frank Maloney, boxing promoter, managed Lennox Lewis amongst others, who has transitioned at the age of 60, that's what I call a really brave thing to do, of course it wasn't a choice, like most trans she could only resist being herself for so long, she has appeared on TV in rubbish dross shows such as Big Brother (reality show), but these are shows that the masses watch, and so it helps to normalise being trans in the minds of those who find it difficult to think for themselves. Kellie has freely admitted that her life was better after appearing in the show, than was previously the case. These Celebrity Trans actually do a huge favour for the rest of us, in helping to develop a "so you're trans - so what?" attitude to us, amongst the sheep-like masses out there. Of course there will be some who would already have had a "oh really? wow, when did you.......etc" questioning and interest attitude to us, I hope that more will behave in such a manner. Personally I don't agree with Kellie and her politics (UKIP), but from what I have seen, I admire her achievement, and determination to be who she wants be, she is a lady who believes in herself & that's good enough for me. Thanks Kellie, bless you, Eve x

Had one of those elevator discussions today, was waiting for the elevator and two female co-workers asked me what I thought about C Jenner, got that over with and then spilled over to “it’s a man’s world” which slid into my story of how after over ten years teaching firearm, impact and edge weapon self-defense that the main source of teaching dried up because of my transitioning. I also told them that perhaps in the back of my mind (and they agreed) I needed to teach and continually train because after transitioning it might take a down turn, which as I just mentioned it has. That is no different than many trans people who give up so much more and I feel fortunate that this is the only thing in my transitioned that suffered. With that, giving up teaching self-defense over more than a decade has left a huge hole in my world so I did indeed gave up a good deal. I have been thinking over the past few months once I am fully recovered it will be time to look at putting together a DVD teaching the basics of self-defense targeting the softer gender against the more powerful gender. Many instructors teach to the mass, meaning more to male vs male and only partly for females being attacked by males. My bet this has not been widely done but do know of three or four female instructors that teach this yet you need to be in training at their dojo and pay big bucks. My strategy is to look into a no frills approach which shows several common attacks and how to defend against them that does not rely on strength but instead body mechanics. Show the attack, dissect the attack and show in slow motion several times then at close to full speed how to counter the attack. Another idea I have is to take this on the road, perhaps get people in different states to ask their support groups if they would sponsor an eight hour class which would be low cost if I can get someone to host me for my stay and feed me. This way everyone benefits. The majority of techniques taught will be empty hand and will introduce people to the use of small flashlights and tactical pens to supplement their defense. For those who use a cane I am well versed in teaching self-defense with a cane. Note, besides the elevator chit-chat I received a new tactical pen manufactured by a fellow instructor I met back around 2004 in Florida during a master instructor week long class. Tactical pens are great tools for self-defense. One can pick up one on the low-end for about twenty-five dollars while mine generally are range from just under one-hundred to close to two-hundred dollars but the average person need not spend that kind of money for a good tactical pen. Also, tactical flashlights are great too for self-defense and in my honest opinion one should never leave home without a flashlight after dark which is something I discuss when teaching. Bottom line, scumbags despise the light, they enjoy preying on the weak and the innocent from the dark, they don’t want to be seen so I say “light them up”. Note, I can not stress enough that having a tool with little training doubles your chances of escaping an attack. For me (and I have done this) I use them for defense, compliance and restraint. Once you see me with a simple pen against a large attacker and what can be done it generally inspires students with greater confidence. Some of my tactical pens and flashlights. Top pen is one I show for what not to carry as it has a point that can stab and we want not to stab but to hit places were skin is close to bone. Next two are my favorite, the second from top runs about $80 while the third from top is about $300. Fourth one down is about $25 and works great. Fifth down from the top I just got in the mail today runs $125. Last item is a flashlight which I carry 24/7 for both illumination and defense. On the right is a flashlight I carry when wearing a jacket and have a second one next to my bed.

I went to a TG support group at the LGBT Center here in Manhattan last night. They meet the first Wednesday of each month (there are 2 groups, 1 for transwomen and 1 for transmen). I'm hoping that the way it went last night is not typical of the group. We (actually "they," I was pretty quiet) spent the entire 90 minutes talking about Caitlyn Jenner. I'm hoping it's just because it was such a big story, and that the group isn't just a current events discussion group. I was really hoping for an actual "support" group after all. I'll definitely go again next month, and in the meantime there was 1 person there who I already knew (from the Thursday night Stonewall group), so I might get together with her sometime and can find out more about the group (she's been going for about a year). On another front - I'm meeting today with the Dean and Associate Dean of the school where I work, they wanted to meet to talk about how they can help with my transition. I obviously have nothing to compare to, but I feel really great about the support that I've been getting here! It almost makes me feel bad that I was looking for a new job .

Good morning everyone! First a few updates. Today, in addition to the little make-up touches I've been adding over the last few weeks, I did my eyebrows and am using lipstick (and lip gloss), and wearing a cute new necklace I bought over the weekend. A picture from this morning is below. I did get a "sir" at 7-11 today, but I'm ok with that, he knows me (I stop there regularly on the way to work), and he was looking strangely at me after that (a mix of confused and amused, or something like that). I've also decided to start using Christie at work (I might segue to it by having "Christie" in my signature line but signing off as "Chris." I just have to decide who I should "announce" that to and how, as opposed to those for whom i'll just start doing that. I also "came out" to my tennis group, and when I got my NYC tennis permit on Saturday it has Christie on it (they didn't even question it). Over the weekend, taking up on Karen's suggestion in one of her recent blog entries, I spent some time down by the Hudson River (on the pier off of Christopher Street). It's one of my favorite spots, and an area where I almost always feel at peace (perhaps in part because of my personal technology ban when I'm there). I started with the question she suggested, do I have any hesitations about starting HRT? (by way of background, I haven't actually decided to start HRT, but I do have an appointment with an endocrinologist on June 20 to discuss it). My initial gut response to it was "no, but perhaps some doubt." To me this makes some sense as I doubt that people are often 100% certain that it's the right thing, at least until you start it. There are no doubt some who are, but not everyone. I then explored those doubts - which I've done before, but a new strain of doubts revealed themselves this time around. That is that I feel like I've often made very bad decisions (and not everyday decisions, but more "life changing" ones - I mean, everyone makes bad decisions). So I spent a little time thinking about what they were, and then why I think I made them (after figuring out if they really were that bad). I won't go into detail about what those specific decisions were, but a through-line for them is that I simply hadn't thought sufficiently about the consequences. In one case (deciding to go to law school), the decision itself could have been ok if I had thought more about what I was going to do with it. In an earlier decision, the decision to not go directly to college after high school, I know that I was thinking too short-term. At that time I was living at home, and making decent money (relative to my pretty insignificant expenses), and I didn't want to give that up. So I sacrificed the long-term for the short-term. That brings me back to transitioning generally and HRT specifically. I take great comfort in knowing that (1) I am looking a lot at what it means, and what is likely or possible to happen, (2) I'm discussing it in depth with a gender therapist, (3) I'm going to talk to a doctor about the implications, and (4) I'm discussing it here and getting feedback So perhaps I will at some point feel 100% certain that it's right, or maybe I'll feel 95% certain and decide that's good enough. Either way I've got some time. Probably the big take-away from my thinking and writing this weekend is that I can't make any decision based on fear. I have to know that I want it, and fully understand (as much as possible) the consequences. xoxo Christie

Hi, last year June 30th I was involved in a road traffic accident (RTA) where as I was overtaking another slow moving vehicle when it suddenly turned right and smashed into the side of my car. I was travelling at 60mph and had to swerve at the last minute to the right hand verge, but still the other vehicle hit me and subsequently careered across a driveway and narrowly missed hitting a brick wall, I was shaken up, stopped as soon as I could safely, and walked back to exchange details. I was still presenting as male at that time and so offered 50 / 50 and 70 / 30 settlements in favour of the other driver but she refused, and insisted on going to court with the case. These offers were made because I was scared of going to court and being asked awkward questions about transitioning, and being belittled. I shouldn't have worried, today (Wednesday 13th May 2015) in Birmingham County Court the judge found in favour of me, and no remarks about transgendering were made at all, by anyone present. I can't tell you how relieved I am, after having this hanging over me for almost a year, but the silver lining to the dark cloud is that it has boosted my confidence no end.............I AM EVE ! .........and I believe in myself more and more. I have posted about believing in yourself before, and it takes me back to my diving days when I was hooked on Technical Diving, one of the experienced divers (Tom Mount?) who published books about it, had said that mental preparation was of paramount importance, and stated "believe you can or believe you can't, you're right either way........ How true, I believe I can and I believe In myself. Anyway it's off to Brighton at the end of the week for a whole week, with the caravan of course and all that entails (usually broken nails! - a realistic belief !) The Brighton Festival is on, which is a little arty and touchy feely at times, but one of the shows that my wife has booked is the Joey Arias Experience, whom I believe is a NYC vocalist who is also in drag, I'm quite looking forward to it. Between now and then I have to attend face torture (electrolysis) tomorrow, and whats left of my nails re-gelling on Friday. How I love going away on hols............... Cheers, hugs and a peck on the cheek, Eve

Whilst on my Dutch holiday, I decided to show our hosts the gentle British art of spoon hanging...................of course they also tried & quite successfully. Who knows this might catch on as a cult craze......... I find such nonsense amusing, must be sometnig to with having a small mental capacity, little things amuse little minds....................... Cheers , Eve