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Warren, in regards to meds, I know full well that meds that are prescribed don't always work and would tend to agree with you that not taking them is wise if they make you feel worst. It's sad there is nobody you can turn too in regards to "they'd rather I disappear". Here in Oregon that would not be an issue as Portland Oregon would be heaven for you with support and I am fairly sure you could get employment which may not be the best but you would be in a much better place.

Warren, good to hear you are feeling better!!! Each and everyone of us have demons. I would like to compliment your video in regards to two things. First, for male to female looking for jeans, be prepared to find that (at least here in my area) the average inseam is 27 to 29 and that the average male will need from 31 to 32 inseam. So with that said one may need to shop online for longer inseams and many of the major companies do sell them but local stores don't. So try them out in the stores and if there is an inseam issue go online. Levi's are a perfect example for selling 31 to 34 and sometimes even longer. The second thing is tucking. What worked for me throughout the years (about five different methods) will not work for others or that others may not want to endure the pain at first I went through. In short I tucked so dang well that nobody could tell even with a swimsuit or leggings. There is another site that has a thread on tucking that has close to 1,500 replies on the art of tucking which should say that there are countless methods for tucking, some are creepy in that if you need to pee it can take a really long time to re-tuck. I had my tucking down to less than 30 seconds but when first starting out was more like two minutes.