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Recently I was invited to perform at a spoken word event for young black people in South Eastern CT. The title and theme of the event is : In My Skin. I was invited because though I am new to the Spoken word scene, I caught the eye of a fellow performer whom wanted to share my story. We'd performed two months ago at a school event and she enjoyed my piece as much as I enjoyed hers. The event is not for another month and I'm nervous about getting up in front of strangers to share either of the two pieces. the first is about being a mixed race kid raised in a white suburb and how that didn't matter to me until I learned how to be black. the second piece is about what it's like to be a gay black/white trans male and about the stereotypes I fall into.. I have a month to practice. The first piece aptly called "How to be Black." is radical if only for what it says.( My pride in being the best of both cultures, white and black.) The second named, 'In My Skin.' is about how being black doesn't really matter to other trans people, bu being trans matters to other black men. It's about catching the cold shoulder. It's about being gay and getting passed over for dates. it's not all negative. it's actually a little funny so far, and I wrote it just for the event. I'll share them when I'm done. Three more weeks until my Endo visit. August 18th can't get here soon enough.

I feel much better. It took me a couple of days to emerge from the mental crater left behind from my meltdown a week ago. Work and a business trip, took my mind off of things for a while. It was the perfect medicine for what ailed me which I knew would be the case. I had to buy sports bras because running has become painful. 2 for $20 from Costco. Breasts are a pain in the a$$, but I'll take them. Lol! I am almost a size B which is crazy. My left breast is growing faster than my right. I don't want them to get too big. I like to exercise quite a bit, so they just get in the way. Plus being big breasted makes it harder to find dresses. I can always add padding if i need to. Work is getting better. I finally feel like I am starting to fit in after 2.5 years at my current job, lol! My wife did tell two close family friends, who go to our church and are the godparents to our kids, that I am trans*. My wife said that they were supportive, which is good news. Not sure other members will feel the same. Thank you for all of your love and support! I cannot do it without you all. I hope that you have a glorious week. Love and Blessings, --Lisa

Bunch of things I like to get out there but are too short really for multiple blog entries Went for a long overdue pedicure yesterday where I always have a good time. My lady told me that not only my facial features were female but complimented me on my overall physical appearance and said that all the ladies that work there agreed. Now I was going to get a color matching my fingernails but decided on French nails for my toes after seeing the customer next to me up until one of the other employees sat down next to me and got the color shown above and let me tell you it became a struggle similar to being indecisive like many of my mornings are after picking out what to wear five million times. Since I could not make the decision two of them said I should get this color as they said my eye's really opened up after seeing this color and let me tell you the photo does not do the color here justice. One of the things I had to be concerned with un-like in my prior identity was to figure out how to weaponize myself (some say I am a weapon lol) when wearing little to nothing as in this image below, Since there are no pockets I found myself what is called a paddle holster which slips on, in this case to my skirt and when using the restroom can be easily detached and placed either besides me or on the toilet paper dispenser. Some days I do miss not having pockets but with a little ingenuity it all works out being concealed by a loosely draped cardigan. We all would like to believe that violence will not come to you but sadly trans* and gay etc are much more susceptible to violence then the cis-gender people and in my honest opinion better to be safe than sorry. Next item, over the past month I have been getting the strangest cravings, first, about three weeks ago got into kitkat candy were I can't even begin to remember the last time I had one, maybe 20 years ago. After a week and about four extremely large packages the urge died. Last week an this week it's potato chips, have to force myself from not dipping into them first thing in the morning, oh how I can't wait until this passes. Yeek, now I know how pregnant woman feel. Then there is a glorious event, I have gone (in the beginning) from gobs of lubricant for dilation to cutting it in half then cutting it in half again to zero lubrication jelly to smearing it on my middle finger and I can slide the large dilator right in. Matter of fact if I open my legs the dilator will slowly pop out unlike a month ago it would stay in place. So with that I have three eight oz and six four oz containers of lubrication jelly that is going to take forever to go through now. Lastly, getting ready to head off to my electrolysis session for work on my underarms. Thought I would not worry about this area but since breast augmentation it's almost impossible to shave at the lower-area to get all the hairs. Last month was the first time for this and we agreed to work the majority on one side. Any ways can't wait till this is done