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Happy Monday everyone! I'm continuing to watch and enjoy "I am Cait," both for watching her personal journey but also because it has managed to be a pretty informative show. Yesterday featured a particularly strange mix - Kate Bornstein and Kim Kardashian appearing in the same TV show (not at the same time, not sure how that would have worked out). Kate's appearance, to me, built on the good feeling I get about the show from the fact that Jenny Boylan has appeared on it (and I think will again?) One of the more poignant moments was Kate B. asking Cait J. how she was handling the "freak factor." The fact that so many people in the world see us as freaks. Caitlyn seemed a bit at a loss, responding that what she hoped they were doing there was trying to make it more normal - to which Kate replied that that was because she didn't like the idea of being a freak. This was juxtaposed with a later scene in which parents of trans kids compared it to living with a unicorn (I can't give more detail, but it was a very positive statement). In my own experience both positions exist in the world, over time the "unicorn" view should win out! I did wonder later if Caitlyn actually understands the "freak factor" at all. After all she is in her bubble - she doesn't really have to be exposed to anyone she doesn't want to be (vs. others who have to live lives out in the world). That's not a criticism, but I hope she takes what Kate B. said and works with it over the course of the show. I was a little distressed by people on twitter bemoaning the fact that there are occasionally Kardashians on the show - it would be pretty sad if Caitlyn excluded them, seeing as they are her family! And I think Kim and Chloe both played good roles last night in terms of bringing some valid issues to Caitlyn's attention (we're not the only ones who have to deal with our transition - even if it is our journey). The only thing I'd like to say to Caitlyn with respect to her family communication is to stop telling them "not to go there"! Communication has to be open (in my limited conversations with my sister, I may have thought those kinds of things, but I keep them to myself for now, giving her some time). *** It's shoulder surgery for me tomorrow morning :-( Hopefully that will get me back to the tennis courts soon! (won't be too soon, at least a couple of months of rehab most likely). I'm also going to a friend's birthday gathering this Thursday night (depending on how I'm doing after surgery). If so, this will be the first time going to a "straight" bar in full woman presentation! On the work front, this is "First Week" at school, so incoming students start classes today, which means the school will be much busier than it has been. The students I work directly with are 2nd and 3rd year, so they won't be around until next week. So now I get to see how it feels to be at a busy school :-) (they did create a gender neutral restroom last week - though I'm now comfortable enough using the women's room - the idea behind the gender neutral restroom is more about a place for anyone who might be uncomfortable sharing a restroom with a trans person). xoxo Christie

Everyone will ask why you asking about chocolates, right. Actually wrong. I've never been bound by race or religion, when it came and still comes to men intriguing me. But I've always had a thing for someone taller and bigger body structured then my 1.74m (5ft8) structure and around 140Lbs. The top criterion above all else, is he needs to have respect, love and adoration for me. Okay, I grew up in a time when interracial relationships were a no no, but I am grateful my dad crossed all boundaries of interracial friendships. Say something inappropriate in front of me, and I'll put you on your place. That's probably why, all I need a man to be, is himself and respectful towards others. If I like you, it's because of qualities you have, and loving you means our qualities are strengthened by our relationship with each other and I wNt to around you every second I can, with me time for friends. So leave me alone if the guy I choose is darker then me, because he might have been lighter, then you'd be worried over me dating him.

Thinking in line with my last post on "use it or lose it" I thought it was appropriate to tell you about a viberator that in my honest opinion is a must have. I know several woman that is a viberator and most have the larger ones for penetration while one woman I know uses one that is for clitorial stimulation. I have been using a medium size penis shaped viberator that is average length of a penis and decent girth. It does the job but takes a while to climax. It can be used with or without lubricant but two months ago I needed lube. So with me being constantly aroused last night and today I needed something better. When I say constantly aroused I mean in the car driving to the store, in the store also. The cause was how my underwear was rubbing up against my sensitive area. So I am looking at the various mini-viberators, they start out at $29, then to $39 then finally $59. The sales lady asked if I wanted any of them opened so I could inspect them which I did. Then I was just about ready to purchase the $39 one she said there is one more and it's very popular, the Tango. She said it is rechargeable via a USB cable, has eight settings and if you hold the on/off button to turn it off it will remember the last setting used so one does not have to cycle through the settings. I went and did some grocery shopping, came home and setup the Tango to charge which in the manual says 90 minutes but was finished in 30 minutes. So now I get undressed thinking this could be great or a let down. Played with a few settings and hit on one that does heavy vibrating, stops for a split second, does a different vibrate then back to the start again. Didn't know it at the time but when I found the "right spot" guessing in five minutes my toes were curling, spasming to the point I was going to pull it off but decide I am hooked and this is so much better than it's big brother, the penis shaped dildo. Let me say this, I can easily do without being penetrated by a penis with this lovely and incredible viberator. Yes skin touching skin is best but there are times when I am alone and horny and not wanting to get dressed, depend on the other person in the mood etc. The viberator is well constructed, just the right size and oh my God, the tip is flat on one side and goes to a point and I can not describe in words what the shape does for me but gives me a extraordinary orgasm bar none. Only down side is the price is $89 but it's worth every single penny. Check it out even if you are not interested in purchasing one to see what it looks like. I will say the site is boring yet that's fine when the product is fan-f**king great. http://we-vibe.com/tango

Good morning everyone, I've now finished just over a week on HRT, and a full business week with my "Real Life Test." There's nothing really to report on the HRT front, which isn't surprising. I did start a "chart" that I put on my bulletin board so that each week I can write down what, if any, changes I noticed. This week the only possible change was reduced libido - though I can't say that with 100% certainty yet. The "real life test" is another story. I broke through and wore my wig, along with breast inserts, to work and pretty much everywhere this week. This morning I had an appointment with a surgeon (about my shoulder) and for a moment I considered not wearing it there, but then decided that this is either full-time or it's not, I can't pick and choose. So I did it, and it went well. I did have to use my old name for insurance reasons, but they picked up on my transition quickly and added "Christie" to their records (the doctor needs a second to catch up - when he took me to his assistant to schedule surgery he alternated between "Miss Cunningham" and "he" - but that's fine :-) The only time I can see being out and not wearing the wig is to the gym - that may come as well, but for now I won't just because I don't know how wearing a wig on a treadmill would go :-) One pleasant discovery was a different type of band for holding the wig on. It's a band that goes around your hairline and fastens with velcro, and the wig holds on to that. Far more comfortable than pins, and so far it seems quite secure. Otherwise to make sure I keep moving forward I just remind myself to "do what I do" - meaning, don't deviate from what I would have otherwise done in order to avoid anyone seeing me with the wig on. I also went by the LGBT Center this week and got signed-up for their Transgender Resources "system." I have an intake scheduled in a few weeks so that I can hopefully join a closed support group (the drop-in one that happens the 1st Wednesday of each month has been a disappointment to me so far). They're also looking into places where I can donate clothing :-) xoxo Christie