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Showing content with the highest reputation on 12/20/2015 in Blog Entries

  1. Watch the video that also has my written uplooad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJfOMGk2tfU Transgender mental health and the shocking statistics.docx
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  2. It can't last forever, surely? Two days ago, I composed an email to be sent out to selected people at work. I was going to send it out myself but then my mentor (I call her that, because she's been helping me a lot) suggested it might be better if the email was sent by my manager, with a few words from him to show he's supporting me. So I sent my composed email to him along with a list of people that I wanted him to send it to, and he wrote a very nice intro to it and sent it for me. Almost immediately, I received three replies from senior managers, saying stuff like, "Well done" and "I'm proud of you" and "I'm here if you need anything". Today, I arrived at my desk and a guy came over and said, "Thanks for sending me that email. Thanks for including me on the list because I could tell you chose that list of recipients carefully. So I thought maybe that means you see me as a friend." One of the reasons I'd sent it to him was because I can tell that he's pretty influential at work. He's not a senior manager but he's well respected. And when my mother died, he was the only person to say "I'm sorry" and offer me a hug. So I suppose I see him as someone I respect and I kind of hoped he might be on my side when he found out what I'm doing. And he confirmed that he is on my side. He said, "If you need anything, if anyone gives you any sh*t, if you want to talk to someone, I'm here." So I said, "There is one thing..." And I explained that, in January, when I will be full-time male after the HR systems and the IT systems have been changed, and my new name is there for all to see, I fully intend to use the male toilets from day one. He said, "And so you should!" But I explained that, because I haven't ventured in them yet, I don't know the layout and I want to know where the stalls are and where the urinals are so that, when the time comes, I can just walk in and go where I need to go, without looking like I'm lost. And without feeling like an intruder. So he took me inside and showed me around He said that when I go full-time in January, if I feel I need some backup, especially at the beginning, he'll go to the toilets with me. isn't that nice? So far, everyone who knows (and it's not a very long list yet) has been incredibly supportive. At work, anyway. The only fly in my ointment is my brother. He's still having a hard time with this. He's the only one who has had anything negative to say. I hope that changes soon.
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  3. Had another good week. I feel like a survivor but I want to be more than that. This week I closed out a project that I had led for almost 2.5 years. It was extremely difficult and often went from one crisis to the next. Unfortunately, several of us paid a price personally because of this project. We either suffered due to the personalities that we were subject to or had to make extreme personal sacrifices in order to be successful. Several of us had mental breakdowns because it would be too much at times. So, I couldn't help but sit back in my chair today at work and reflect on not only what was accomplished, but also what happened, what I learned from the experience and how I grew as a person. There is no doubt, I am more patient and mature. No doubt. I know how to better deal with others who go beyond difficult to hostile. And what I learned is to be kind, loving and gracious. Kill them with kindness. That was basically what I did. Also, to not be the smartest person in the room, but the kindest. I had several people tell me things like, "you are too nice" or "you are way too kind". "You need to be tougher, more aggressive." And the question I would ask is, "How? How is someone more aggressive and tougher? At what point does one cross the line? And what constitutes toughness, exactly? What does being "tough" really mean?". With love and kindness, there is no line to be crossed. No way a person can run afoul of authority being excessively kind. I can express an unending and unconditional love to all ... and not get in trouble. And there is nothing anyone can do about, other than fire me...for being kind and loving. Yeah. I guess it's possible. But why would anyone do that? I also learned how to be better prepared and prepare for success, not failure. To always look ahead. Look for opportunities in the most challenging and dire situations and environments. Listen to what people have to say, respond and act. Take control of a situation when no one is leading. If it is your meeting, run the meeting. If someone is leading, respect their leadership and defer to them. And most of all, be the best you can be in any situation and task. That way at the end of the day, week, month, year or life there is no reason to look back with regret. Anyways, those are my two cents at the moment. Just decompressing after the week, a little tired, sick .. but already planning for a successful 2016. On the personal side, I will have some time off. Will look to continue to improve physically and give myself a break mentally. I have almost lost 50 pounds. I plan on losing about another 7 pounds but stay at that weight for the next few years and let HRT do some of the work for me. As of today, I have been on HRT for 8 months. I look like a totally different person. It's amazing how much I have changed in such a short period of time. If I happen to not post anything else for the remainder of the year, happy holidays to everyone and a happy new year! I will try to post a couple of updates over the next two weeks, but may not because I'll be focused on being with my family. Take care, love to all and God Bless everyone!! Love, Lisa
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