freshstreams

Our first eating of GSA, I had everyone go around the room and introduce themselves. Your name, Major, Preferred Gender Pronoun and why they came to GSA. So I would say "Hey, My name’s Tyler, I’m your president. My Major is Education. My Preferred Gender Pronoun is He, His, and Him and I came to GSA originally, because i needed to get to know people like me, but now I’m here to lead and teach you and the community around us.” Apparently in the last… oh let me say 30 meetings she totally forgot that i was trans and when i came in and shared that i was so happy i got a new binder, she questioned… "Why are you excited about a book?" "it’s not a book…. It’s a tank top… thing that makes my chest look more flat." "but why would you want that?" She asks…. I told her, “It makes me more confident when I look in the mirror and think I see a boy, with no chest, baggy shirts, and no swag. It makes me happy” "Can’t you just get a breast reduction?" she asks, confused. "I mean… a reduction totally. But I Don’t just want them reduced. I…. just want them not there, at all. When i look in the mirror before I have to take a shower, Inearly cry. So I started covering my bathroom mirror with a towel just so I don’t have to look.” "But why?" "……Everytime I think of myself in the future, I think of a man. Married to a woman with a beautiful personality….." She cuts me off “but you are beautiful…. Why do you need to change yourself?” “Who do you think I am in this equation?” "The woman?" I gave her a look. I had just gone over this a week before. I’m not doing transgender 101 again this semester.

I've sort of been friends with the other guy since last fall, but he's graduating this semester. I hope that, after next semester when I focus my efforts and try to make more friends within the community, I can find people who support and can help make something beautiful for the entire LGBT community. I know, it's a long shot but everyones always told me that I really should be some sort of therapist (I give way better advice in person than online). I know my target school has a very active Pride Alliance but I think I'm going to make it a future goal to make a center on my side of New Jersey for LGBT people, outside of the occasional support group.

So this is angering me. I'm honestly, contemplating not going back to my club next semester. I hate being the only one doing any work and when i make a suggestion like a trans awareness day, and my teacher suggests talking to parents about coming out as LGB, nobody really talks about the T, parents hear this over and over again... the ones that would attend this anyway. I feel like nobody cares. the only services my surrounding area offers is support groups. I want to inform more people. Everytime i made a suggestion it's "Not important" Well what is important then?

Good things about today (this sort of trumps the bad things....) Most people at work still have a problem with pronouns..... Except for dan, who I've bonded with over joking about beating eachother up in the parking lot at 3 AM. He's the only one who manages to understand the pronoun thing.... Todays bad: After having writtena five page essay--- literary genius-- on Having gender neutral bathrooms on every college campus, My computer decides "Hey, let me makes your life harder because I know that this is your last day of english and you have 2 essays due." and It cut off and not only did it cut off but it didn't turn back on. Of course, I tried the Command+R Trick, Then went to the apple store in which they told me that I needed to get my hard drive replaces for only 169 dollars.... ONLY 169 DOLLARS. ONLY. Because My minimum wage job doesn't even pay me that much, I refuse to go to my father for cash, since I'm already milking him for transit money since... oh look at that.... My job only pays me 7.25 and gives me a whole 9 hours a week. How long is it going to take me to save up that? Long enough.

So, today was the first time in the last couple of years that someone called me sir. For a while I was like O.O WHAT? Then I was amazed. Apparently, recently I've been doing really well at passing, I bind during work since I only work 4 hours it doesn't cause too much damage and my coworkers accept me as tyler. Customers don't really say I'm a male or female they simply say "The one with the short hair" It makes me very happy that I'm doing well and starting to pass.... There was one downside to today and it's the fact that the woman who said sir apologized for the mistake when she saw my legal name. I told her my situation and she then got confused and just looked around and told me where to go to pay my tuition. My next dilemma is notifying my winterim/spring professors, so we don't get the mistake....

Gino Gavin Garrick Gene Kyler Kory Tye Blaise Antoine Demi Mason Joceline Remi Mika. I just made a list of possible names. More to be added I guess. Honestly im dontemplating like Demi-Mika translating to Small beautiful smell. o_o

So like, It's april 16th (yes?). A lot of things have advanced in the last like... month. I actually got a promd ate (This complete cutie pie, her name's abby. I guess i give details later). I don't really have any other advancements other then that actually. I decided i go ona quest for a name. I t hought the other night about the name Tye, Which I really like. but so far ive gottenit sounds like a dogs name and my friend mike doesnt like it because he got into a fight witha guy named tye like a month ago. I'm still under serious consideration. LGBT prom is ina month! im so psyched. Im probably gonna ask mike if he wants to help me go shopping for it. So is the spring fling for work. (yes. my job has dances. Ahh the perks of working at six flags. ) I don't know i was just writing like useless nonsense on here. Just sayin.