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KarenPayne

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Blog Entries posted by KarenPayne

  1. KarenPayne
    Hopefully I can keep it clean.

    Been thinking about what is it going to be like pleasure-wise for my new parts so on the way to the grocery store I stopped off at a adult shop, ask for female lube and took the sales lady's suggestion. Went home and searched the web for something that might arouse me, found one. I know it was good because feelings radiated out from that area. Used the lube and a play toy to enhance things.

    Bottom line, it's been five minutes after the fact and I can still feel that feeling radiating outwards and I like it a lot.

    Inspection/test run gets an A+

    Okay, closer to ten minutes and still got it :rolleyes:
  2. KarenPayne
    ;
    Went to my best female friends family reunion and was a blast. Although I have known her for close to nine years have never met all the people who were there today, a rough guess of 30 family members and I left early, more were coming. I was seen (note I did not say treated) no different than any other cisgender female at the gathering. During the four hours I was there joined in to several conversations which was great as I much rather chit chat then simply sitting there only knowing her immediate family.
    In my last entry I touched on having a good support system. This woman has been there for me through both surgeries. Her three children treat me like family and her husband although had issues with me in the beginning has come around to accepting me. I have to say this family truly helped me leap a few hurdles during my journey.
  3. KarenPayne

    What a twist

    By KarenPayne,

    Facebook did it's thing and did a life event for my ex-wife as seen in the snapshot below. The first reply is her sister (whom I am actually friends with on Facebook) and the second her. Of course she married me but not as Karen lol.
     
  4. KarenPayne

    What do you think

    By KarenPayne,

    My best female friend whom we both see each other as sisters expressed to me that I should write my life story down that encompasses everything (well except for things I have non-disclosure agreements for e.g. work done for the military as a contracter).
    My first thought was there are many others like me, what makes my story different. She said that 1. did it at the right time 2. did not let anything stop me 3. had a positive attitude. Event with that there are still many like me so I am asking what others think.
  5. KarenPayne

    What's new

    By KarenPayne,

    It's been a while since visiting here, little has changed other than being asked to work for a global/major tech company several weeks ago which I have accepted. Yes they know my past and that is not an issue. I've always said that work hard and have a determination no matter what gender you are will get you places. Sadly there are many companies who discriminate against anyone who is not cisgender but that will only change when those of us who are not classified cisgender refuse to lay down and submit.
    Now the proud owner of two Mazda Miata's, a 2016 and recently a 2019.
    It's been just under four years since transitioning and hardly give my current life a second thought living as I should had been years ago but that's life.
  6. KarenPayne

    Work and dilation

    By KarenPayne,

    If so desire, check out my entry at http://www.karenpayneblog.com where the first part is at work (which is duplicated from my prior blog here) and then about current dilation.

    I truly despise dilation but will never give up :)
  7. KarenPayne

    Work asked me to...

    By KarenPayne,

    I am still on sick leave but went into work yesterday to try out my new username for signing into the local network. Talked to my boss, told him that I most likely would not be back next week as Marci's office has not given me a letter to return to work yet. He was fine with that.

    He then said, could you please write something up for your business partners whom do not know about your transition. I told him that I already did this. He then asked if I would write something up for our IT division, I replied, no problem if you would send the message out which he agreed too and did before leaving, asked him to review it, he said it would work. I did include a paragraph on the topic of me using the female restrooms in that I symphonize with those who might have issues or concerns and that I did get approval from human resources to use any restroom I felt comfortable with. I could actually still use the male restrooms but not going there and sticking to female restrooms only

    While there I talked to a few people that knew of my transition but had not talked with them yet and they treated me no different than before transitioning.

    One thing I am having troubles with is that some call me ma'am which to me feels old so my thing will be to ask them to simply call me Karen.

    There is one employee whom I have been working with for 20 years and saw him yesterday talking to other people, waved at him but he did not wave back and I thought he was not okay with my transition but about ten minutes later he came over, shook my hand and said "Hi Karen", when you have time I want to talk to you about a guitar I am buying and said yes.

    I spent about one hour talking with my team members (three of them) about things being worked on and that they ran into an interesting problem that they could not find a solution for then remembered I gave a code sample two months ago, from the code example they easily figured out how to remedy the issue at hand which made me feel good.

    Joked around a bit also which showed me they really have no problems with my transition.

    Looking forward to when I can get back to work.


  8. KarenPayne
    Yesterday started out good but ended up as a very frustrating day overall. Got up, took a shower then ate breakfast followed by checking email. One of the messages was from Alaska airlines indicating there were congestion issues forecasted at the San Francisco airport (which is ten minutes from my hotel) and that my flight was moved to San Jose which is just over one hour away. Called the limo service right away and said no problem. Wait for two hours, limo driver comes to pick me up and advised me to call Alaska to make sure of the change. Well the automated help for Alaska was no help at all and got a live person who verified the change so off we went. Got there about 1.5 hours early, checked in and had some difficulties going through TSA and almost left without my wallet.

    Waited around, 15 minutes before boarding they changed the flight time two times then announced they had a lot of people at San Francisco airport being shuttled over. That took sometime and finally boarded 45 minutes late.

    When doing the pre-flight thing on the plane prior to taking off the pilot indicated he was doing a special take off called a slingshot which gets the plane in the air really fast and let me tell you it was very cool. I've never timed how long it took to get to the final height but this time was much much faster.

    At one point he said we were ahead of schedule and got there and out of the plane fast.

    Now I don't know when my shuttle leaves but do know it is 24-7 service. Wait at the place designated for a while and then call the service asking were the shuttle was and that I was late. They said about 10 minutes ago and the next one would be in about two hours (eeks). So I needed to wait there with nothing to do.

    When the shuttle arrives it takes time to get people aboard. One thing nice is if you have a reservation you get boarded first. Did not time this either but there were several that had to pay and believe me that it takes time for that.

    Get on the road and of course it is rush hour, more time sitting down which after GRS surgery really is not great.

    Was supposed to be home by 4PM but did not get home until 7:30PM.

    At this point I needed to unpack, get something to eat and dilate. The important thing is I must dilate especially since I had only dilated first thing in the morning and it really has not been that long since surgery so I see it as do not mess dilation unless unavoidable.

    Screw cooking so off to McDonalds and they get my order wrong, back home, eat, setup for dilation and then do it. Starting the process was painful and have to wonder if it was stress or from missing the second dilation session. Oh, neighbor came over at one point and chatted with me.

    When all was done it's about 10PM and have been up for a very long time and had zero issues falling asleep.

    Hoping to get some rest this morning as friends are stopping by this afternoon and tomorrow I am driving from Salem Oregon to Portland Oregon for a visit with relatives.

    Oh, I wake up this morning and my best female friend says her son is travelling past my town and wants to take me out to lunch. Her children all call me Anty LOL and are great kids ranging in age from 16 to 22.

    I can not even imagine today being anything be great other than the fact my bottom is a tad sore.
  9. KarenPayne
    In my elementary school days there was a bully who would tease me, "hey sissy" or "hey little girl" to no end. When one day a new boy came to class and while walking home the bully started on me and the new boy intervened by knocking the bully on his butt. I remained really good friends with the new kid until several years after high school then reconnected with him on Facebook several years ago.
    I started counting down the days to GRS but would only post on Facebook that I was heading to California for surgery. He asked (on Facebook) what I was going in for? I said (get this) nothing major and left it at that.
    I forget when but I changed my name and gender on Facebook say in February. Did not hear a peep from him in regards to direct communications. Yesterday he posted a video about a senior citizen shooting at a criminal and I responded.
    He then said, "How is Kevin doing?" I said he is decease then he asked when. So I told him Kevin died and Karen was born. He could not believe it and thought I may have hijacked Kevin's account so he asked me three questions that I should know from 40 years ago, answered them and he was then convinced.
    He said I should call sometime to caught up on things and I told him I will be there in the Spring.
    So while this is going on another friend of mine (and his) must had missed out on my transition because he went through my photos and "liked" one of them.
    Any ways I find it interesting that these two friends did not caught on and I even wrote a post on my gender change,
    In regards to the picture, this is how he sees me and is me at a local shooting range I believe back in 2007 doing my Clint type of look, bad ass. For the record there is a full size 1911 pistol on my hip and a revolver in my left front pocket in a pocket holster and a pistol on my right ankle. Okay, I hear your wheels churning in your heads so a little explanation is in order for newcomers. I did executive protection for 10 years, was on call for this, worked with local PD and taught self-defense for 13 years. Have been at both ends of the muzzle of a firearm and survived but can not say that for the bad guys. I tend not to discuss this too much as this is one thing I lost when I transitioned and hope someday to regain at least the teaching part.
     
    This was a hot day, had body armour under my shirt. 

     
  10. KarenPayne

    Your on candid camera

    By KarenPayne,

    When a person cross dresses and in the closet they don't want to be found out. The person sneaks out dressed or goes out in their cisgender clothing and changes someplace else.
    Having this know for those who sneak out from their home an an opportune time have you considered neighbors with surveillance monitors/cameras? Of course not knowing circumvents sneaking out where this may or may not matter depending on the climate in their area, are neighbors okay with this or not and if not is there a possibility they may lay in wait with intent of physical and/or mental injury?
    The same can happen when dressing away from home.
    Since for some the urge to go out dressed may be stronger than caring about others finding out yet those who do venture out truly need to consider consequences of those out there that dispise those who don't fit into traditional male or female roles.
    My thought on (before transitioning) this topic is always assume someone is watching via a surveillance monitor or happens to be checking the weather out their window or simply looking outside for whatever reason and in public areas surveillance monitors are becoming more commonplace. So be careful out there.
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