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KarenPayne

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Blog Entries posted by KarenPayne

  1. KarenPayne
    To start off I take a break every hour at work, walk down three stories, head outside for a few minutes then back to work. Although we have three elevators many uses the stairs and with that I pass several people that I don't know (we have over 1,000 employees). This one lady stopped me several weeks ago whom I have never spoken to before were the conversation was everyday stuff.
    This morning she stopped me again and at one point said she never said anything before to me when I was male was because I appeared unapproachable, distant and never smiled. She then said since I transitioned she noticed no male traits and that I am always the complete opposite from when I was male. In the conversation I told her about me being wrapped up in doing executive security and teach self-defense may very well have contributed to my demeanor coupled with being unhappy as a male. She told me that I was handsome as a male and pretty as a female. So I pulled out my current and former driver license. She stared at them and said "you know you look so much younger now" and I said I believe it's the hormones plus good genes.
    So I walked away from this I believe with a new friend who spoke frankly to me.
    While writing the above it reminded me of last Friday when I had a first time voice lesson. During the introduction she observed all feminine traits I had and actually pointed them all out which made me happy as I make no conscious effort to do so. I have to say my first impression after our hour was up was, she is perfect for me and there was so forward motion too. Now with that I can see where I want to be and there is indeed work ahead but she said compared to other trans clients I was doing much better than others but stressed in the beginning it will be mentally difficult working with the various aspects of "the voice".   
  2. KarenPayne

    My new birthday

    By KarenPayne,

    I was born September 24, 1956 but have now declared my new birthday as January 27 as this is the date to commemorate my correct gender. I was surprised that on Facebook they allow you to change your birthday up to three times while I figured unless you have done something along the lines of what I did you would get it right the first time. Some might have issues with changing one's birthday yet I don't. Along the same lines when I changed my gender marker and first name I changed my last name too as this (at least for me) was one more thing what had to be done to wash away my former identity.
    Something for you to consider or not, changing one's last name might be right for you. The single downside when I did this was my login name at work did not change because after working there for 20+ years it would be a real chore to apply all my security settings. This is no different than a female married, takes the husbands last name, same applies so it's nothing to do with changing gender (way of topic).
    Up side is I have two birthdays in 12 months woo-hoo.
  3. KarenPayne

    Second letter done

    By KarenPayne,

    Received my second letter for surgery requirements and a letter to assist with changing my gender on my driver licence. The letter for my driver licence is critical in tangent with my legal name change documents so I can book flights to and from California so I can purchase tickets shortly that match my name change and soon to be new gender.

    After this I visited with a close friend who gave me an early Christmas present of 5 tube and two large bottles of KY Jelly for dilation after surgery. With these and the ones I already have I should be good for at least two months.
  4. KarenPayne
    I was on Facebook tonight where I mentioned taking my new laptop to California with me. I have about 146 friends where about 8 know what's going on. Well my brother's old girlfriend from back from a few years after graduating from High School back in Pennsylvania saw my post and said "we should hook up". So I wrote her a private message explaining what was going on, she still wants to meet

    Those were interesting times back then, she was dating my brother and I was dating her best friend. We spent many nights together with close smoking buddies at her house were her parents were fine with that. I would classify her as a hippy at heart and still that way from what I can tell, married with children living in San Francisco which as fate has it is where I will be for surgery.

    My 92 year old mother and her still exchange Christmas cards every year.
  5. KarenPayne

    Indelible

    By KarenPayne,

    Two years ago, I decided that I was going to transform so one of my first real steps was with tattoos. Any tattoo I had done was well thought out and no thought of any being even remotely male centric. The image below shows several on my shoulder and several on my neck. Besides those, I have several below the waist in front and (horrors) a tramp-stamp on my backside although I deplore it being called a tramp-stamp. These tattoos not only provide strength and comfort but also mark a time of never going back to being a male. As a side note I had my eyebrows and eyelids done by a specialist with this type of work and brows were shaped no different than a female with my facial structure. After SRS I am getting my final tattoo, the design is still a work in progress but know it will be one a marker for remembering who I really am.

    I know there are many who consider marking one’s body with ink is bad but for me it means so much more than some ink making an indelible mark on me.




  6. KarenPayne

    Confidence

    By KarenPayne,

    Prior to perusing my current path to transition I did many things correct except one thing which was to try and fit in better. The main reason was, I was sure surgery would not be an opinion as it seems the Benjamin standards were to strict for me in that I wanted to not fully come out yet still have surgery and then come out in the future. I was sure this would work for me but several therapists did not see it that way. With that, I decided surgery would not happen and did not worry about mannerism, as it would conflict with me teaching self-defense.

    I still believe I was correct (not saying I am better than the therapists), no different than when I had liposuction, the surgeon said there was not much fat to remove and I thought he was incorrect but did not say anything. After wards the surgeon visited me to see how I was doing and said I was surprised that there was no fat then I thought. I had always been thin but a thyroid issue caused weight gain and never lost the fat no matter how hard I tried so I went for liposuction and was a good idea as it did increase my self-worth. My current therapist felt no different than me but was happy I decided to live as a female as required.

    So my point, since last November an important lesson was learned, nuances came to light which I recently self-evaluated within me, all subtle but extremely important in the long run. They run the gambit from walking properly to clothing styles. I recently wrote about going to a Guitar Center and trying to be male but failed, it was because mannerism of me now did not allow it while last year it was the complete opposite.

    With that said, I was wrong in thinking the trial period was not needed but was right that I needed to transition with surgery as part of the transition. If not for the trial period, I would still be perfectly happy but would not fit in fully.

    So in closing out, at this time the trial has been a success, woohoo. For a while I thought it would never end (yes it never does end) but it has and I am fully confident that I can survive in this world as a female and will be accepted. Times have truly changed and thank goodness for people coming around to people like us.

    11/10/2014 addition
    Just back from the grocery store and while bringing the groceries in my neighbor stop to chat. As I was walking away, she said that my voice has noticeably changed. I thank her for the compliment as she knows about me transitioning and like true feedback. My evaluation is I have gotten better at voice control without even thinking about it. As anyone who has considered passing the voice is the most difficult part. You get the proper look but for many it fades away when they open their mouth. I am taking this seriously to the point of going to a voice coach after transitioning.
  7. KarenPayne
    The following has no real train of thought (dang female hormones ) but this is what's up

    Just received my packet from Doctor Bower, have started filling in forms and making appointments for EKG and HIV testing. Three weeks to go to formalization on name change. Going through the list of items I need to take with me to California and see that I need a ample supply of KY jelly. I decided to do NetFlix subscription, as being there for two weeks will need something to do when unable to get around. I know it’s getting real when just about every night I imagine myself being rolled into the room for surgery. Booked room for stay, normally $200 per night (yikes), discount rate is $155 which is $2000 total and I am use to places that charge (in my area) half that price, sure wish I had people in the area.

    Photos for the hotel.

    On the home front, I am picking up my final letter for surgery and document for name change/gender approval next Friday. Tomorrow I meet with my legal friend to get back money and Sunday off to purchase luggage as my current luggage is old and beatup or use UPS Luggage Shipping where they supply you with a cardboard suitcase then again I may not, will have to see.

    Just returned from the post office and made my payments of $28,000 for surgery. The cashier at the bank said, can I help you mam? Gave her my driver licence which is still my male one and afterwards stayed with mam.
  8. KarenPayne
    As Christmas gets closer it looks like I will not be spending time with any friends but will visit a friend on Christmas Eve. Why mention this? Because I am sure, there are many out there that may very well be depressed and that need not be.

    My decision is too keep busy so my plans are to a) setup my new laptop, which is scheduled for delivery tomorrow morning (I will turn it on tomorrow to make sure it functions) via two-day business delivery, have been tracking it, and is on time. b. Comcast is setting up XFINITY Entertainment package tomorrow, which will take time to setup c) play my favorite music that is uplifting while writing a technical article for Microsoft d) prepare a great meal for dinner e) chat with friends via phone to have interaction with others. Bottom line, I will be a happy girl.

    Side note, I upgraded my Comcast as my current DVR has limited space in that while in California it will get filled up before I get back so the new DVR has more space along with it can record 4 shows at once rather than the current one, 2 shows at once. It is costing me less than my current plan which is really a bonus.

    Happy Holidays to everyone :D
  9. KarenPayne

    Difficulties

    By KarenPayne,

    Thinking of transitioning as difficult (thinking of those going through this currently); everyone will have some level of difficulty where a good deal of issues come from the degree of support we have and we can feel that we can compartmentalize each part as in family, friends and work and that is it but as many know here we must also deal with society at large. Having an overall good support system will lessen what difficulties they will have to contend with.

    Is it possible to change everyone’s perspective on you being different from the norm? Not for one minute will everyone come to terms with this and attempting to force feed people the fact that you are a well-adjusted person will not fly with many.

    Trust me when I say I don’t have anywhere near all the answers to fixing this but do believe if possible before beginning one’s journey a good support system must be in place. This support system may be one person or several people. You should be able to communicate in person and or via phone to allow you to deal with issues that may (will) come up.

    I started off with one female cisgender friend outside of work then a three male and one female friend outside of work which I had better than good relationships with and one I had saved their life but even with that I needed to use kid gloves. Having this small circle is much better than having nobody at all and having nobody will surely lead one to many hardships down the road which is not where you want to be.

    We all know that bad/dark place where only things like alcohol, drugs, self-mutilation and thoughts of suicide enter the mind and are so easy to not resist. I have known enough people who sunk to dark depths for other reasons and think about it, we see people in the grocery store everyday picking up their wine and beer so they can go home and forget the world. Trans people typically don’t have the luxury to simply drink their disgust with their physical anatomy away, it’s there whether we are sober, high or intoxicated so it’s always there. We need others who we trust and can let out our frustrations without the fear of pushing them away.

    I think many will consider a place of worship as a haven but many religions are not so accepting of transgender people as “this is not how God made you and is a sin” so understand when going to talk with clergy that you may have the raft of God descend upon you which, again goes back to having a good support system and that places of worship may not be this way. If you attend services regularly listen to what is preached and attempt to get a feel for how you will be treated by them by coming out to them. Of course it’s not always the case that they will shun you but be prepared when talking to them well in advance what questions may be asked and practice your responses to these questions.

    Lastly, many tend to think that they must stay in the same area they are now but what if the environment is toxic? If your current environment is toxic prior to coming out what do you think it will be like after coming out? Yes it can be extremely difficult to pick up one's life and transplant to a safe environment but it's possible. I saw this early on and made the decision to re-invent myself from a sales person making $25,000 in 1990 to $40,000 after one year of spending long nights studying to become a computer software developer then another year to move from one coast to the other coast to find a stable environment that was much more accepting of transgender then the last location. It's not easy to relocate and makes transitioning to take longer but I think in my case it was worth the effort. So if you live in a toxic environment and are suppressed by it you need to get out, figure out what it takes and do it.
    Any ways as mentioned earlier I am not expert so that my advice with a grain of sand.  



  10. KarenPayne
    While waiting for my friend (female) to get ready to leave for the movies her daughter came home, said Hello Karen, I heard your name change has been completed. I said the big thing for me was more of having a bank card with Karen Payne. She did not know I was changing my last name. I pulled out my new and former driver license, she compared pictures and said "I remember you then but you have changed drastically since then". She held both licenses for a minute shaking her head and then said, it's so hard picturing you are a male now. Her mother walked in who had overheard us talking and said, I agree with her, it is almost impossible to see you as your former self.

    The movie may have been too long but the compliments were perfect.
  11. KarenPayne

    Friends visit tonight

    By KarenPayne,

    My best friend arrived tonight with a flower bouquet with a balloon "it's a girl". What happened at one point after she took several pictures of me and then broke down crying saying "I have never seen you this happy" to me and pretty much seconds later I had tears o joy. This will be a memorable moment in time for me which really there are no words to tell people how I felt at that very moment.
  12. KarenPayne
    It is critical that one can poop before being discharged. With past surgeries I had a great deal of troubles unlike this time. What made the difference? Consuming massive quantities of water and a decent Amount of prune juice. Past and present I had same amount of stool softener. With that guess were I am heading :-)
  13. KarenPayne

    Sick

    By KarenPayne,

    Went to bed not feeling well, all points to bowel. Got four hours sleep, woke up, empty pee bag then back in bed but felt wet on the backside. Yeah know in this case I was right to wear black undies.

    Washed the soiled undies, took a decent poop. Still not feeling good at all and stepped outside for a minute, came back inside, made coffee and while waiting drank OJ (this is at 1 AM mind you), popped on the tele, watched the beginning o the late show and started feeling much better. The feeling (or urge) to go is subsiding currently :-)

    Lesson: When you feel wet, you are more likely to be a mess down there, wet wipes in multiple rooms is a good thing along with an ample supply of undies woohoo
  14. KarenPayne
    Just received my confirmation for a limo which will pick me up at my hotel and drive me to the airport in style. Have been here for 12 days that mark the beginning of my new life and even though I have missed home I have to say all those who have helped me do the transition here I am very grateful too.

    As I have mention several times that this is simply a stepping stone in my journey that by no means complete it is simply the most expensive aspect of this journey.

    One of the promises I made to myself was to get a new tattoo after surgery but never made a decision on the artwork. So far have narrowed it down to either a small butterfly or single small rose in the pelvic region. I already have four tats where on average I contemplate for a few weeks followed by seeking our a design over several weeks then submit to my artist whom I ask to adjust to my thoughts.

    My next thing to work on is losing 20LB which I could not do in the past few months because of an issue with my leg and have physical therapy lined up in March. I had the same problem 25 years ago and had it fixed until two months ago.

    Something I have been thinking about too (the decision has been made a while back) is restructuring my self defense classes and adding focused classes for LGBT and woman only classes. The only thing holding me back is having a place to do the classes so more likely than not will take these classes on the road. I am going to work off a sliding scale in regards to cost of classes where cost will be greatly reduced for those who can not even afford my classes so the goal is to train anyone who wants training no matter their ability to pay.
  15. KarenPayne
    Yesterday started out good but ended up as a very frustrating day overall. Got up, took a shower then ate breakfast followed by checking email. One of the messages was from Alaska airlines indicating there were congestion issues forecasted at the San Francisco airport (which is ten minutes from my hotel) and that my flight was moved to San Jose which is just over one hour away. Called the limo service right away and said no problem. Wait for two hours, limo driver comes to pick me up and advised me to call Alaska to make sure of the change. Well the automated help for Alaska was no help at all and got a live person who verified the change so off we went. Got there about 1.5 hours early, checked in and had some difficulties going through TSA and almost left without my wallet.

    Waited around, 15 minutes before boarding they changed the flight time two times then announced they had a lot of people at San Francisco airport being shuttled over. That took sometime and finally boarded 45 minutes late.

    When doing the pre-flight thing on the plane prior to taking off the pilot indicated he was doing a special take off called a slingshot which gets the plane in the air really fast and let me tell you it was very cool. I've never timed how long it took to get to the final height but this time was much much faster.

    At one point he said we were ahead of schedule and got there and out of the plane fast.

    Now I don't know when my shuttle leaves but do know it is 24-7 service. Wait at the place designated for a while and then call the service asking were the shuttle was and that I was late. They said about 10 minutes ago and the next one would be in about two hours (eeks). So I needed to wait there with nothing to do.

    When the shuttle arrives it takes time to get people aboard. One thing nice is if you have a reservation you get boarded first. Did not time this either but there were several that had to pay and believe me that it takes time for that.

    Get on the road and of course it is rush hour, more time sitting down which after GRS surgery really is not great.

    Was supposed to be home by 4PM but did not get home until 7:30PM.

    At this point I needed to unpack, get something to eat and dilate. The important thing is I must dilate especially since I had only dilated first thing in the morning and it really has not been that long since surgery so I see it as do not mess dilation unless unavoidable.

    Screw cooking so off to McDonalds and they get my order wrong, back home, eat, setup for dilation and then do it. Starting the process was painful and have to wonder if it was stress or from missing the second dilation session. Oh, neighbor came over at one point and chatted with me.

    When all was done it's about 10PM and have been up for a very long time and had zero issues falling asleep.

    Hoping to get some rest this morning as friends are stopping by this afternoon and tomorrow I am driving from Salem Oregon to Portland Oregon for a visit with relatives.

    Oh, I wake up this morning and my best female friend says her son is travelling past my town and wants to take me out to lunch. Her children all call me Anty LOL and are great kids ranging in age from 16 to 22.

    I can not even imagine today being anything be great other than the fact my bottom is a tad sore.
  16. KarenPayne

    Holy cow

    By KarenPayne,

    Went to the grocery store this morning and while heading down one of the aisles a co-worker was crossing the aisle, look right at me and did not notice me. That was indeed a good sign as you can not fake not recognizing someone I had worked with for 15 years verses the look that someone gives you that they are ignoring you, at least in my book.

    This happened two other times in the past year so guess I am on the right track.
  17. KarenPayne
    No surprise it was very painful at the back of my vagina and let me say, time pasted very slowly and did controlled breathing the entire time. I am no wimp when it comes to pain and would say I can not wait till this size dilator is fitting without any pain.

    Edit: Second time was less painful.
  18. KarenPayne

    Work asked me to...

    By KarenPayne,

    I am still on sick leave but went into work yesterday to try out my new username for signing into the local network. Talked to my boss, told him that I most likely would not be back next week as Marci's office has not given me a letter to return to work yet. He was fine with that.

    He then said, could you please write something up for your business partners whom do not know about your transition. I told him that I already did this. He then asked if I would write something up for our IT division, I replied, no problem if you would send the message out which he agreed too and did before leaving, asked him to review it, he said it would work. I did include a paragraph on the topic of me using the female restrooms in that I symphonize with those who might have issues or concerns and that I did get approval from human resources to use any restroom I felt comfortable with. I could actually still use the male restrooms but not going there and sticking to female restrooms only

    While there I talked to a few people that knew of my transition but had not talked with them yet and they treated me no different than before transitioning.

    One thing I am having troubles with is that some call me ma'am which to me feels old so my thing will be to ask them to simply call me Karen.

    There is one employee whom I have been working with for 20 years and saw him yesterday talking to other people, waved at him but he did not wave back and I thought he was not okay with my transition but about ten minutes later he came over, shook my hand and said "Hi Karen", when you have time I want to talk to you about a guitar I am buying and said yes.

    I spent about one hour talking with my team members (three of them) about things being worked on and that they ran into an interesting problem that they could not find a solution for then remembered I gave a code sample two months ago, from the code example they easily figured out how to remedy the issue at hand which made me feel good.

    Joked around a bit also which showed me they really have no problems with my transition.

    Looking forward to when I can get back to work.


  19. KarenPayne

    Breast implants

    By KarenPayne,

    For the past week or so have been doing research on surgeons in my area for performing breast implants and finally found one but they are booked until May for consultations.

    Went to there office, made the appointment and took home several pages for them like anytime one sees a new doctor.

    I thought it was interesting but not surprised that surgeons and doctors have a list of people who had surgery recently as after giving the receptionist my name she pulled up my address and phone number.

    If all goes well hopefully I will have a surgery date before the end of this year which will complete my physical transformation.
  20. KarenPayne
    Moment 1 Just went to an appointment for some skin care treatment at a spa. As they are going through my medical history they ask, are you on birth control (I give a ever so slight smile), I said no, then ask (and I would thought this question would be first) have you been through menopause? I said no (big smile inside). At the end of the consultation we shared war stories of breast augmentation, she with breast reduction, me, well yeah no it was the opposite. During the consultation she asked what are you doing this weekend? Well of course my sports car driving came up and afterwards she said, such a bad girl and we went out to see my car.
    Moment 2 I'm at a club with a group of cross-dressers, most are long timers with no intent for the majority to transition. I'm sitting at a table watching two of them play billiards when one of the newer members comes to sit with me from across the room. She says, I wanted you to know that if I didn't know you were once a male would never guess it and since I know the truth have to say you look so content with mannerisms of a female and even better your voice is nice in regards to female sounding.
    ANyways thought I'd share them.  
     
  21. KarenPayne

    Surgery images

    By KarenPayne,

    I have noticed that there are not a lot of images for GRS so I slapped three together that I thought might provide a bit of perspective.

    The image has three, one immediately after surgery which looks rather raw, second (must have a strong stomach for this one), third is three weeks post surgery and can still see some stiches. I do photos once a week and will post another one in a couple of months.

    NOTE: Please do not share this image as I am only sharing here for those who are curious to what to expect if they go down this path and not for public view. The site is a private Comcast FTP site that does not get hit with crawlers. So this photo is for educational purposes only.


  22. KarenPayne
    Several of the things I am certified to teach require recertification like tactical batons its every three years, firearms every year, hand-to-hand combat and edge weapons every year.

    The Hand-to-hand and edge weapons lapsed last year because of my transition. I informed the Grand Master about this about six months ago and was very supportive of my transition and said make sure you come to training (which was today). He lives in Florida and does certifications at various locations around the world. In the past when first starting out I would attend a grueling six day instructor course in Florida and also Washington State. For five and a half days we would learn new methods and techniques for teaching students rather than us learning completely new techniques. The last day as just mentioned was grueling in that you had to test in a realistic environment which usually each person taking the test was rather battered up.

    Even though today was a one day class I expected no less in regards to the test but was told I did not need to take the test as I have proven my abilities and was handed not a one year recertification but a three year certification.

    When I arrived at the school one of the people who helps runs the school greeted me and told me his name then asked mine. Since nobody else was in listening range I told him I was male until recently and that my name is Karen Payne. The significances is he knew me as Kevin Gallagher. It took him a few seconds of him staring at me and then realized who I was before. We chatted then other students came in so we stopped.

    At the end of class the instructor said, in your photo on Facebook your eyes look extremely happy and no different in person. He had shown my photo to an assistant instructor in Florida whom I met once back I 2010 and said “she looks great doesn’t she”. Seems she must had as she made a friend request today.

    During the class I interacted with pretty much all the students at one point on another and nobody acted oddly to me and at the same time had no clue I was once a male.

    All was not peaches and crème, I realized that when people talked about family I needed to be short on that discussion as I was not going to say something like “my wife and I…”, that would give things away and was not wanting that so during some breaks I kept quite.

    Overall it was an excellent day working with other instructors who do this for six days a week and kept up with them.


  23. KarenPayne
    Over time it is hard to not recognize that not just with gender issues but every aspect of life we encounter a fear and doubt our abilities to cope. This is normal behavior until we key in on gender dysphoria because if nothing else we are living in a world that is gender centric, male or female.

    Fear of being late with a car payment is vastly different than stepping out one’s front door dressed in the opposite gender. We can call the bank, chat with them and make special arrangements if your payment will be a few days overdue. Now when walking out the front door as a female or male those who see us and identify with us as the opposite gender quickly form an opinion be it good or bad unlike the bank who looks at your history with them over a period of time.

    Once you walk out that door fear takes over similarly to standing in front of a group to give a speech, mouth is dry, we sweat all over the place but over time with repetition we become less sweaty and the mouth is not so dry until if we do it enough now the door is open to familiarity with little to no stress. Heck I know, if you caught me in 2000 standing in front of 10 students you would think I was a complete amateur but several years later stood in front of 375 people and was right a home.

    I say it and hear others say it, it gets easier each time you walk out the front door dressed in the opposite gender. How many times does it take? That is going to be different for everyone.

    What is critical is believing in yourself because if you don’t believe in yourself how do you expect others to believe in you? To believe in yourself it takes time in the comfort of your own home first watching various shows on television, study female mannerism then get up of the chair and practice what you just saw. A physical therapist once told me to suck in my abdomen several times a day and would find her in my head at the strangest times so I suck it in. Same applies to learning mannerism of the opposite gender. Example, you are driving in your car, look down at your legs, how are they positioned, legs spread apart or comfortably close together, are both hands on the steering wheel or just one? Correct as needed. Sticking with driving, this is the perfect time to practice your opposite gender voice where absolutely nobody can hear you, just keep the windows up at red lights.

    The more you practice these and similar traits of the opposite gender the better prepared you are for stepping out the front door. So what if Mr. Jones sees you, wave and smile and don’t hasten your pace, take a deep breath and continue on. Hopefully Mr. Jones will become accustom to you being seen as a female yet there is one fallacy to this which is during the week you are male and weekends female. The fix for this is to be female more often during the week.

    The key is to want it then prepare so you are as natural as you can be and remember it does get easier over time, I know because I have done many of the suggestions and more. 

    In closing, I invite others to chime in with there suggestions as I DON'T know it all and there is a vast wealth of wisdom within this community that can be drawn upon.
  24. KarenPayne
    My friend had me pick up groceries prior to surgery, two items in particular I wondered about, strawberries and blueberries. Well last night I found out they were for me to assist with constipation as happens after surgery. So I am eating them right up. Urinating is no problem at all. Speaking of urinating, I am wearing a rather loose fitting and long top so each time I go the top is lifted up over my new breast and of course have to stare at them, oh so nice looking if I do say so myself.
    Dinner was fantastic, my friend made a disk that I can not explain other than I eat everything off my plate.
    I am having troubles sleeping, went to sleep in my recliner as the chair provides a better position that my bed. The longest I have slept for is two hours. It's 1 AM right now and fully awake.
    Pain, it's currently at 2 out of 1 to 10 scale were most of the pain is from a strap that runs around my chest and covers the top of my breast to keep them down and in. I will see if my friend will take a picture so you all can see for yourself.
     
     
     
  25. KarenPayne
    At my post surgery appointment I was told all looked fine. There will be at least four more visits/check-ups.
    They were very surprised when my female friend reported that I had taken only twenty-five percent of the pain killers since surgery and said most patients take all the medication. 
    They gave me Lipikar Baue AP creme which helps restore skin's hydrolipidic layer for my breast.
    My current pain level is under 1 using 1 to 10 scale  
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