The physical attraction to the gender spectrum definitely leans towards the male form. But that hasn’t always been the case with me. When I was younger, much younger, I was almost exclusively physically attracted to the female form. Or, at least, I told myself that. Over the years, that has changed. Today, far more often than not, it’s the male form that catches my eye. So what does that mean for my sexuality? It’s often easier to refer to myself as bisexual even though I don’t believe that term really applies to me. People seem to “get” bisexuality a lot easier than other terms such as panromantic or pansexual or poly-something-or-other, or all the other terms that people use to try to define themselves and each other. Although, a lot of people don’t “get” bisexuality either.
So when it comes down to it, I’d rather not label my sexuality. But what I do now label is my gender identity. I am transgender. And I always have been, even if I denied it to others and to myself. I’m not gender-fluid. I’m not non-binary. I know what I am; what I have always been, even though for too many years I pretended it wasn’t the case. My body is female but the rest is not. And it’s not the case that sometimes I feel female and sometimes I feel male. It’s not the case that sometimes I feel like I don’t fit into either sex. I know what sex I’d rather be. What sex I should have been. I have never felt female. But I was given a female body.
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