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MonicaPz : (01 February 2015 - 03:32 PM) Charity, wish more people would be like your aunt.  Am an aunt and great aunt, and I strive to be like her!
CharityLynnC... : (01 February 2015 - 03:20 PM) this just in. pastor manning swears hes transgender. article found here http://www.pinknews....is-transgender/
CharityLynnC... : (01 February 2015 - 12:05 PM) i got the coolest most lovable aunt. she and i talked for a half hour and we talked mostly about my trans issues and stuff. she understands me...first family member thats done that.
PamalaFlinn : (30 January 2015 - 11:55 PM) For so many years I was told that gay people were such a horrible thing , no place for them,  they should just  go away. Now...................... I am so glad I never listened!!!  I will hang in a gay club over a straight club any day.
KarenPayne : (30 January 2015 - 07:40 PM) For the record I tried for a long time to post post op pictures here but all failed so I am nit trying any more, I will have picts on my blog
CharityLynnC... : (30 January 2015 - 04:08 PM) https://www.youtube....h?v=hcHAoo-xn9g my 4th month update of me on hormones
veronicabeta : (29 January 2015 - 10:56 PM) Happy Birthday aom0129 ! Many Happy Returns ! :)
MonicaPz : (29 January 2015 - 09:26 PM) Fag Bug:  The Sequel is a HOOT!  Also love the trailer for TED.  Way to go, Charity!
CharityLynnC... : (29 January 2015 - 10:22 AM) https://www.youtube....h?v=S3AVcCggRnU who else wants to see this movie...cause i sure do!!
CharityLynnC... : (29 January 2015 - 01:01 AM) http://www.snagfilms...e/fagbug_nation sequel to fagbug movie
veronicabeta : (29 January 2015 - 12:07 AM) Rock On PamalaFlinn
PamalaFlinn : (28 January 2015 - 09:05 PM) Just so nice to be girly.
MelodySchwartz : (28 January 2015 - 06:54 PM) wishing well and happy thoughts for you KarenPayne
sigurdoug : (28 January 2015 - 06:31 PM) I am new to this and my question is do you think I am too old for your site?
sigurdoug : (28 January 2015 - 06:28 PM) I would like a general opinion from anyone that would like to leave an opinion
CharityLynnC... : (28 January 2015 - 01:41 AM) ok people...someone let the yeti loose again and now he's roaming boston... https://gma.yahoo.co...topstories.html
veronicabeta : (27 January 2015 - 10:11 PM) Happy BD NewRaechell  !:) Many happy returns.
UsernameOpti... : (27 January 2015 - 09:22 PM) Karen has made her first post after surgery...  check her blog here at TGG.
LovelyLisa : (27 January 2015 - 06:01 PM) Karen, I hope that you have a speedy recovery. But give yourself the time that you need to recover.
jls : (27 January 2015 - 11:07 AM) I hope Karen is well!!





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I can measure up!!

Posted by PlagueBubonic , 27 December 2011 · 95 views

I know this is not a positive post, I feel like putting a *** under my chin and........
Poof ...Vanish...Who would really care????
I could not measure up to my mothers expectation for being her little girl; which got me beat and thrown out of the house.
I can not measure to my own expectations either. People tell me I'm a freak.. other people at church have called me he /she devil.  I even feel that the demons in my head tell me, I can't measure up either.
I guess this stems from looking in the mirror, the reflection I see back is not one I like; that's why I cannot measure up to being a real woman.  I know I was not born that way; I'm just tired of feeling so bad.
Sometimes I call this Pinocchio syndrome; he wanted to be a real little boy but he was a puppet.
I wanna be a real woman................
I guess a better name for it is, want to be.  Maybe I shouldn't write this at all, however I know I am not alone on my feelings.  I know I shouldn't feel bad for myself; but I do.
There's a song I listened to in one verse it says, " the best dreams I've ever had are the ones I'm dying in."
Sometimes I feel like these artists can see inside my soul.
I really don't wanna be this bleu.  But something has really thrown me into a stupor, and I just can't take the negative talk anymore.  Tired of not measuring up.  I'm tired of building myself up; just to be torn down.
Since I believe in talking it out instead of acting it out; that's why I wrote this.  So if I read it I'll try to make sense out of my own thoughts.




The nurturing part of me surfaces... If you were my child I would hug you and let you know it's ok. It's ok to be different. It's ok to be special.

Wish I could make the "ugly" people shut the hell up. They say mean, hurtful things. Some of them just don't know any better. I don't know what to do about them. I do know what to say to you. Remember that you are special. Avoid the negative self talk and love yourself for being you.

Even though it's hard sometimes, you're not alone.
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PlagueBubonic
Dec 27 2011 11:46 PM
Thank you very much for writing this Ms.Lori; it really makes a differance to me. I just when to a bad place for a moment.
This is why I don't like to be left alone
<I hope you understand this> the demons just creep in to my head and .....I wish I clould make them stop. any way I do appereciate your message and I try what you suggested
thank you >^.^< Peace Out
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