Jump to content

Change
VISITORS: Your access to view photos and site information is limited as a guest.
Click here to join now


Toggle shoutbox Shoutbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

Tommiebefree : (22 September 2014 - 05:04 AM) Hey check out Braco-TVEurope for a real blessing through live streaming o fBraco's gaze. And its free!
Gennee : (21 September 2014 - 12:03 PM) Hello, Diane. :)
DianeChambers : (20 September 2014 - 11:11 PM) Just saying hello
DianeChambers : (20 September 2014 - 12:32 PM) Hey just like that I am here.
Tommiebefree : (19 September 2014 - 05:29 AM) this morning I really let the female energies flow and it felt GREAT!
Naughtynatas... : (18 September 2014 - 11:57 AM) Evening
Gennee : (16 September 2014 - 06:59 PM) Hello, Naughty.
MonicaPz : (16 September 2014 - 02:10 PM) Welcome, Catskillgirl and Naughtynatashyxx!
BenFriday : (16 September 2014 - 09:49 AM) How did it do TJDavies? PM me?
Naughtynatas... : (16 September 2014 - 12:29 AM) I'm new here, hey guys
Tommiebefree : (15 September 2014 - 05:46 AM) Welcome cattskillgirs and WarrenG. I'm pretty new here also and the people here are geat.
Lori : (14 September 2014 - 05:14 PM) Hi catskillgirl - Welcome!  :)
catskillgirl : (14 September 2014 - 04:07 PM) Hi new here just joined
TJDavies : (14 September 2014 - 01:50 PM) So, I came out to my Father today.
MonicaPz : (14 September 2014 - 10:05 AM) Warren, the people here are kind, gentle and sensitive.  You need not fear being mistreated here.  You are in the right place.
WarrenG : (12 September 2014 - 09:04 PM) Sort of new, dont know many others of my particular situation so go easy on me lol
Tommiebefree : (11 September 2014 - 12:43 PM) I worked in those buildings in the early years in the '70's-sold flowers in lower lobby. god bless the first responders
MonicaPz : (11 September 2014 - 10:48 AM) Robin, thank you for reaching out to your sisters!
MonicaPz : (11 September 2014 - 10:45 AM) Gennee, this is my first shout out.  Took years for me to recover from 9/11.  Still affects me.  Lucky no family/friends involved.
Gennee : (11 September 2014 - 08:34 AM) Today's the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.





Photo - - - - -

I can measure up!!

Posted by PlagueBubonic , 27 December 2011 · 80 views

I know this is not a positive post, I feel like putting a *** under my chin and........
Poof ...Vanish...Who would really care????
I could not measure up to my mothers expectation for being her little girl; which got me beat and thrown out of the house.
I can not measure to my own expectations either. People tell me I'm a freak.. other people at church have called me he /she devil.  I even feel that the demons in my head tell me, I can't measure up either.
I guess this stems from looking in the mirror, the reflection I see back is not one I like; that's why I cannot measure up to being a real woman.  I know I was not born that way; I'm just tired of feeling so bad.
Sometimes I call this Pinocchio syndrome; he wanted to be a real little boy but he was a puppet.
I wanna be a real woman................
I guess a better name for it is, want to be.  Maybe I shouldn't write this at all, however I know I am not alone on my feelings.  I know I shouldn't feel bad for myself; but I do.
There's a song I listened to in one verse it says, " the best dreams I've ever had are the ones I'm dying in."
Sometimes I feel like these artists can see inside my soul.
I really don't wanna be this bleu.  But something has really thrown me into a stupor, and I just can't take the negative talk anymore.  Tired of not measuring up.  I'm tired of building myself up; just to be torn down.
Since I believe in talking it out instead of acting it out; that's why I wrote this.  So if I read it I'll try to make sense out of my own thoughts.




The nurturing part of me surfaces... If you were my child I would hug you and let you know it's ok. It's ok to be different. It's ok to be special.

Wish I could make the "ugly" people shut the hell up. They say mean, hurtful things. Some of them just don't know any better. I don't know what to do about them. I do know what to say to you. Remember that you are special. Avoid the negative self talk and love yourself for being you.

Even though it's hard sometimes, you're not alone.
  • Report

PlagueBubonic
Dec 27 2011 11:46 PM
Thank you very much for writing this Ms.Lori; it really makes a differance to me. I just when to a bad place for a moment.
This is why I don't like to be left alone
<I hope you understand this> the demons just creep in to my head and .....I wish I clould make them stop. any way I do appereciate your message and I try what you suggested
thank you >^.^< Peace Out
  • Report

September 2014

S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21 22 2324252627
282930    

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories