Jump to content

Change
VISITORS: Your access to view photos and site information is limited as a guest.
Click here to join now


Toggle shoutbox Shoutbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

Lori : (28 March 2015 - 09:34 PM) That's what I was thinking. Maybe your dad is making an effort to reach out and maybe even to understand. Best of luck to you and your dad.
UsernameOpti... : (28 March 2015 - 09:32 PM) Peace offering, maybe?
TJDavies : (28 March 2015 - 05:07 PM) So, My dad called me an hour and a half ago to tell me he's bringing me a ham..... I haven't seen this man in 2 months.... He brings me a ham in times of stress that I don't even mention to him. My relationship with this man confuses me because he talks to much crap about me being Trans but then brings me ham.
MonicaPz : (28 March 2015 - 05:06 PM) Emma, always liked a lady who is ahead of the game!  LOL!
EmmaSweet : (28 March 2015 - 09:08 AM) Well, this is worth Shouting about: I just finished and submitted our taxes, just more than two weeks before they are due!!! :)
MelodySchwartz : (27 March 2015 - 05:56 PM) Hello everyone.....I have been so very busy. I so wish I could blog everyday...
veronicabeta : (27 March 2015 - 11:47 AM) Welcome Brian and brightest of Blessings
jennifer38 : (27 March 2015 - 07:35 AM) Too cold for late March here in the Pittsburgh area.  Glad it will warm up, next week.
TJDavies : (27 March 2015 - 05:12 AM) It's raining here. Meh. I have to clean my room so my landlord can show the house D:
Bonnie : (27 March 2015 - 04:57 AM) It is snowing here today.
Bonnie : (27 March 2015 - 04:56 AM) Welcome Brian and thank you!
Brians3420 : (27 March 2015 - 12:34 AM) i' a new member and have been needing to take this step in my life for some time now. I just wanted 2 tell everyone out there that you are the most special unique loyal group of friend or lovers that a man could ask for . So please keep being yourselves and I love you allm Have a nice day! xoxoxoxox
veronicabeta : (25 March 2015 - 08:41 PM) Really begining to enjoy Spring. The change in the amount of daylight? FABULOUS ! :)
TJDavies : (25 March 2015 - 08:17 AM) :o
UsernameOpti... : (24 March 2015 - 07:43 PM) Former homecoming king dies ... See the thread, Teen Runs for Homecoming King in the TG Children & Youth forum
veronicabeta : (24 March 2015 - 04:23 PM) Ok. Shoutbox edit ISN'T working now ! :)
veronicabeta : (24 March 2015 - 04:18 PM) Awesome Possum ! :)
veronicabeta : (24 March 2015 - 04:03 PM) Hey! Shout box edit is working now ! :_
veronicabeta : (24 March 2015 - 04:01 PM) Wrong Link.Sorry. This came out of my Google browser
ViBetaSCOT : (24 March 2015 - 01:21 PM) Thank-you Bonnie for the Welcome and I hope to be an example for all SO's who may have issues they want to discuss :mellow:





Photo - - - - -

I can measure up!!

Posted by PlagueBubonic , 27 December 2011 · 99 views

I know this is not a positive post, I feel like putting a *** under my chin and........
Poof ...Vanish...Who would really care????
I could not measure up to my mothers expectation for being her little girl; which got me beat and thrown out of the house.
I can not measure to my own expectations either. People tell me I'm a freak.. other people at church have called me he /she devil.  I even feel that the demons in my head tell me, I can't measure up either.
I guess this stems from looking in the mirror, the reflection I see back is not one I like; that's why I cannot measure up to being a real woman.  I know I was not born that way; I'm just tired of feeling so bad.
Sometimes I call this Pinocchio syndrome; he wanted to be a real little boy but he was a puppet.
I wanna be a real woman................
I guess a better name for it is, want to be.  Maybe I shouldn't write this at all, however I know I am not alone on my feelings.  I know I shouldn't feel bad for myself; but I do.
There's a song I listened to in one verse it says, " the best dreams I've ever had are the ones I'm dying in."
Sometimes I feel like these artists can see inside my soul.
I really don't wanna be this bleu.  But something has really thrown me into a stupor, and I just can't take the negative talk anymore.  Tired of not measuring up.  I'm tired of building myself up; just to be torn down.
Since I believe in talking it out instead of acting it out; that's why I wrote this.  So if I read it I'll try to make sense out of my own thoughts.




The nurturing part of me surfaces... If you were my child I would hug you and let you know it's ok. It's ok to be different. It's ok to be special.

Wish I could make the "ugly" people shut the hell up. They say mean, hurtful things. Some of them just don't know any better. I don't know what to do about them. I do know what to say to you. Remember that you are special. Avoid the negative self talk and love yourself for being you.

Even though it's hard sometimes, you're not alone.
  • Report

PlagueBubonic
Dec 27 2011 11:46 PM
Thank you very much for writing this Ms.Lori; it really makes a differance to me. I just when to a bad place for a moment.
This is why I don't like to be left alone
<I hope you understand this> the demons just creep in to my head and .....I wish I clould make them stop. any way I do appereciate your message and I try what you suggested
thank you >^.^< Peace Out
  • Report

March 2015

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
29 3031    

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories