Jump to content

Change
VISITORS: Your access to view photos and site information is limited as a guest.
Click here to join now


Toggle shoutbox Shoutbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

WarrenG : (24 October 2014 - 07:43 PM) Nevermind, I got it XD
WarrenG : (24 October 2014 - 07:26 PM) I cant seem to figure out how to add pictures >.<
Gennee : (23 October 2014 - 02:38 PM) Hi Mia and welcome.   :)
mia33 : (23 October 2014 - 12:01 PM) hello everyone. i'm new of course. looking forward to meeting people here. Mia
MonicaPz : (23 October 2014 - 08:00 AM) Dawn, I look at almost everyone's photos, and comment, if I can say something nice.  Do give feedback.  Love your photos!
UsernameOpti... : (23 October 2014 - 07:54 AM) There are four ways to tell if someone has looked at a members photo album(s): 1.  They leave a comment;  2. They clik the "like" button;  3.  They rate the image;  4. You can see the number of "views" on each image.  Except for when someone leaves a comment, there is no way to know which members have viewed any one album or image.
Dawn13 : (22 October 2014 - 07:56 PM) Is anyone looking at photos?  I have posted some fairly good ones lately but cannot tell if anyone has stopped to see them?
Gennee : (22 October 2014 - 08:05 AM) Happy Birthday, Daneela!   :D
AVPerry : (22 October 2014 - 05:46 AM) I just posted in Transgender Television & Movies, check it out :) Stay Blessed!
UsernameOpti... : (21 October 2014 - 12:11 PM) Happy Birthday to Daneela
Bonnie : (21 October 2014 - 11:25 AM) Should be good now, Dawn
Dawn13 : (20 October 2014 - 11:45 AM) Bonnie - I cannot message you
Bonnie : (20 October 2014 - 11:43 AM) Hi all you new people! Welcome!  I hope we can help in whatever way you need.
Chloe4230 : (20 October 2014 - 10:06 AM) New to the site. Hi all.
TJDavies : (20 October 2014 - 08:15 AM) I GOT MY NEW BINDERRRR :D
AVPerry : (20 October 2014 - 01:03 AM) I just updated my posted in Trans Books and Print Media..check it out! Stay Blessed x
AmberShock : (19 October 2014 - 03:38 PM) Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum, can't wait to explore and make some new friends.
AVPerry : (19 October 2014 - 01:31 PM) I just posted in Trans Books and Print Media..check it out! Stay Blessed x
sarah1 : (19 October 2014 - 12:20 PM) hi
GypsyMen : (19 October 2014 - 12:17 AM) Hello hello.. New here happy to meet you all





Photo - - - - -

I can measure up!!

Posted by PlagueBubonic , 27 December 2011 · 84 views

I know this is not a positive post, I feel like putting a *** under my chin and........
Poof ...Vanish...Who would really care????
I could not measure up to my mothers expectation for being her little girl; which got me beat and thrown out of the house.
I can not measure to my own expectations either. People tell me I'm a freak.. other people at church have called me he /she devil.  I even feel that the demons in my head tell me, I can't measure up either.
I guess this stems from looking in the mirror, the reflection I see back is not one I like; that's why I cannot measure up to being a real woman.  I know I was not born that way; I'm just tired of feeling so bad.
Sometimes I call this Pinocchio syndrome; he wanted to be a real little boy but he was a puppet.
I wanna be a real woman................
I guess a better name for it is, want to be.  Maybe I shouldn't write this at all, however I know I am not alone on my feelings.  I know I shouldn't feel bad for myself; but I do.
There's a song I listened to in one verse it says, " the best dreams I've ever had are the ones I'm dying in."
Sometimes I feel like these artists can see inside my soul.
I really don't wanna be this bleu.  But something has really thrown me into a stupor, and I just can't take the negative talk anymore.  Tired of not measuring up.  I'm tired of building myself up; just to be torn down.
Since I believe in talking it out instead of acting it out; that's why I wrote this.  So if I read it I'll try to make sense out of my own thoughts.




The nurturing part of me surfaces... If you were my child I would hug you and let you know it's ok. It's ok to be different. It's ok to be special.

Wish I could make the "ugly" people shut the hell up. They say mean, hurtful things. Some of them just don't know any better. I don't know what to do about them. I do know what to say to you. Remember that you are special. Avoid the negative self talk and love yourself for being you.

Even though it's hard sometimes, you're not alone.
  • Report

PlagueBubonic
Dec 27 2011 11:46 PM
Thank you very much for writing this Ms.Lori; it really makes a differance to me. I just when to a bad place for a moment.
This is why I don't like to be left alone
<I hope you understand this> the demons just creep in to my head and .....I wish I clould make them stop. any way I do appereciate your message and I try what you suggested
thank you >^.^< Peace Out
  • Report

October 2014

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
1920212223 24 25
262728293031 

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories