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On Being...Me

A blog by Chrissy in General

  • Entries

    106

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    379

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Entries in this blog

Book Project

Hi all, I met on Tuesday with a person who is working on a book project about "transformations." Although not gender-specific, she indicated that most of the people she thinks will be featured will be female. One section of the book will be dedicated to trans-identified people, and it looks like I'm going to be one of them  Each person featured will have a short blurb, something about their story of transformation, and then a few related pictures. I'll write the initial blurb myself - my slant o

"Transition"

Hi all, So I wanted to throw this out for discussion - I've been thinking recently about the term "transition" as it relates to the trans community. For starters, I hope nothing that I say here will suggest that I think everyone needs to use the same terminology, particularly for their own experience and journey - it's our story, it's our terminology! But in a broader perspective, I have some concerns about the term "transition."  Transition is defined as "the process or a period of changing fro

Costumes and reality

Good morning everyone, On Friday I mentioned that I had a goal over the weekend to go out "presenting as a woman" (as opposed to just appearing far more feminine than I used to).  I wasn't 100% certain what that meant when I said it, but on Sunday I did follow through.  I was fortunate that the drag queen who I always go see on Tuesday was doing a special Sunday Brunch show at noon, so I used that as my location.   Much of what I did was pretty typical for what I do already.  I wore my gray "Blo

HRT - follow-up

I went to see an endocrinologist on Friday after work.  A somewhat long journey out to Queens, but worth the trip. After seeing 2 different assistants (one who was getting some additional background information, the other did some basic checking - blood pressure, heart rate, etc.), I finally saw the doctor. I hadn't fully decided on whether or not I was going to pursue HRT when I went to see him, I wanted to see how I reacted to having an actual doctor give me information, as opposed to just doi

GRS Part II

Hi again, I wanted to post some more now that I've actually had my surgery (YAY!!!!), especially for anyone thinking about or planning the surgery themselves - everyone's experience is different, but this might give some things to consider: Monday, Dec. 26 - I arrived in Philadelphia and checked-in to my hotel.  Went to a Target Express nearby to load up on food and beverages for the days after surgery when I'd be at the hotel, knowing that getting out for food would be tough.  Around noon I sta

On activism...and identity

I just read this article in the Advocate, it was brought to my attention by several people I follow on Twitter.  The first person indicated that she didn't agree with all of it, but that it raised some good points.  Another person, who tends to be a little more "aggressive" in her opinions, opened fire on it repeatedly and, I think, unfairly.  I think it's a good piece discussing the divisions within the trans* community and the difficulty that causes in forming an effective movement. http://goo

Vacation and birthday...

Hi everyone, Happy Thursday!  Happy for me because starting tomorrow I'm on vacation for a week.  I'm sure I'll be checking in here during that time, but probably not doing any blogging. In an earlier post I mentioned how I was aiming for July 27 as the day that I would officially start presenting as a woman.  My last post altered that course a bit, so I'm going to see now what exactly I'm doing.  I'm certainly going to keep playing with make-up and other things, but the difference between today

Update

Hi all! So my recovery seems to be going well. I had my follow-up with the surgeon and they removed the packing and tubes. That felt so much better! They showed me how to dilate - wasn't too bad. Yesterday I came home - I've never been so happy to be home! Recovery is easier in my own place with my own stuff. For 4 weeks I have to dilate 4x a day for 20 minutes each. I'm still working on my positioning, it gets a little uncomfortable and tedious, but I'll survive :-) Otherwise for now it's a lot

I am Cait...

Hi everyone, So, I watched "I am Cait" last night, I think I honestly went in fairly objectively.  I was concerned about another Kardashian-like reality show, but encouraged by Caitlyn's comments at the Espy Awards.  Overall I was happy with the show.  It's only the first episode of course, but I very much appreciated her comments in support of those trans* people who are less fortunate than her, and in her reaching out to the family who lost their son to suicide.  Highlighting these issues, whi

Mountains and valleys

Hello all! I just looked back to see when I did my first blog posting, for some reason I thought it was just earlier this week but it was actually early last week. It simultaneously seems shorter and longer than that. Anyway, I'll get to the point of the subject line of this entry - "mountains and valleys." It's a reference to a line from a Debbie Gibson song that I love ("Over the Wall") - "mountains and valleys are better than nothing at all." It might not have been her original thoug

long time...

It's been awhile since I've written anything here - that was partly (largely) because of school and recovery. My recovery from GRS is going well, I've now been cleared for everything (including tennis and sex!), and I'm down to dilating twice a day (until the end of June). There was some granulated tissue, but that's been taken care of. And I've now had the delightful female experience of having my feet up in the stirrups for a medical exam! It doesn't make you feel at all vulnerable (sarcasm).

Episode 4 - Kate Bornstein!!!

Happy Monday everyone! I'm continuing to watch and enjoy "I am Cait," both for watching her personal journey but also because it has managed to be a pretty informative show.  Yesterday featured a particularly strange mix - Kate Bornstein and Kim Kardashian appearing in the same TV show (not at the same time, not sure how that would have worked out).  Kate's appearance, to me, built on the good feeling I get about the show from the fact that Jenny Boylan has appeared on it (and I think will again

"Wonder Woman"

I cannot believe I haven't written about this yet!  Last Friday I saw "Wonder Woman," and it was truly amazing. There are things I could be critical of (the messaging in a few spots was a little heavy handed and the effects in a couple of areas a little cheesy), but overall I think it's a truly great movie (and I'm not really into superhero movies). I won't say much about the movie because I don't want to do any spoilers - but there were moments when I was moved to tears, and moments when I felt

NY Pride

Hi all, Sunday is NY Pride, it will be my first as a physical woman!!!  Last year I was presenting full-time, but no surgeries yet. The year before was more of a gender-bending year. I'll post pics - I'm marching with NYU, so I have the shirt they gave us - I altered it to make it a v-neck, I wanted cleavage 😛 Xoxo Chrissy    

New York Pride - and My Pride

Tomorrow is New York Pride! It's expected to be one of the biggest ever as a result of the emotional impact of the Orlando shootings - and there will also be an increased NYPD presence as a result of the shootings. I expect that they'll do a moment of silence for Orlando - they do it each year for those lost to HIV/AIDs, and it's always an incredibly moving experience - you're on the streets of NYC with thousands and thousands of people, and there isn't a single sound (otherwise it's almost impo

Catching up

Hi everyone, I just noticed it's been about 3 weeks since I've written anything!  It's been a bit of a whirlwind lately, but mostly in a good or great way. The biggest update is that as of October 19 my name will officially, legally become Christie Ann  :-)    Then begins the long process of changing my name everywhere (I have a lengthy list going - I just spent some time prioritizing - driver's license, credit cards, HR at work, etc.).  Using that as a basis I sent a group-wide email to family

Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference - Part I

I arrived in Philadelphia today - the conference starts early tomorrow so I decided to get down here a day early. I got a hotel at a decent rate and it's about 1/2 block from the Convention Center! Anyway - last year I did the free version of the conference, this year I paid for the professional track (for a student it was $85). The tough part is deciding what to go to!  Initially I went through the schedule and just put everything I was interested in on my calendar. Then earlier this week I wen

Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference - Part II

So day 1 is done - such a long day!  I volunteered to help with set up, so I was there starting at 6 a.m. But all totally worth it :-) On a matter of personal achievement first - during one of the panels I actually spoke during the Q&A. Perhaps seems small, but 3 or 4 years ago there's no way I would have done that - it was a fairly large room with about 50-60 people. No way. So that's a nice sign of what transitioning has done for me :-) The most interesting/controversial part was a lecture

Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference - wrap-up

Hi all, So I anticipated being more detailed, but that wasn't really very practical in this setting :-)  Suffice to say I really enjoyed the conference and got a lot out of it. In some cases it was learning that I already a fair amount of what they were talking about, which is always nice, but I definitely learned a few new things. The only downside was one of the last panels I attended - "White Supremacy in Trans Relationships."  The title probably should have been a warning - the fact that the

Feminist Group event

Hi everyone, I'm pretty excited about an upcoming event that I'm involved with - it's part of a feminist Meetup group that I belong to. Each month we have a moderated discussion on some issue within the feminist movement (last month was about racism in feminism). This month I'm moderating the discussion on transgender issues - the title is "Are trans women real women?" (the title is meant to be a little provocative, and to have a very obvious answer - the organizer was worried about using it, bu

Dressing for success!!!!

Much has been said on this website about dressing - obviously! - here was my experience this morning. I'm at my field placement today, which is a social work internship, so it requires a good balance of looking professional, without going too far and creating the appearance of a power imbalance. Add to that mix that I had a dental appointment in the morning before I came here. Usually that wouldn't impact anything, but I go to the NYU Faculty Dental Practice, and the student I go to is really, r

Family, travel, etc.

Hi everyone, Happy Monday!  It's still strikes me as funny that I can actually believe that when I say it now - but it's true. Since I got my promotion (and raise) at work I decided I could and should go away finally.  It's been at least 2 or 3 years since I went away - granted, I don't really like traveling all the much, but usually I like to get at least a long weekend somewhere each year.  So in November, in the week before Thanksgiving, I'm going down to D.C.  It's part family, part fun.  I

Another week over...

So 3 updates as another week comes to an end... I met yesterday with our Dean and Associate Dean - it was a very positive, encouraging meeting.  They proposed how to handle communicating my transition to my new name (and transition generally) to a broader audience (the students I work with directly, and then a general communication to the entire school which wouldn't identify me directly but would discuss the school's policies, etc. re transgender faculty/staff/students).  They also made it clea

Weekend goals...

Happy Friday ladies and gentlemen and all points between and around! Well this was quite the week.  I knew that changing to my female name at work would be "big," but I didn't fully anticipate the anxiety, exhilaration, excitement, fear (and several other emotional states that I may never have experienced before) that would come with it.  It really was a very unusual week as people started referring to me as Christie, and using female pronouns.  The word spread faster than was planned (thanks to

HRT

Happy Friday everyone! Later this afternoon I have my appointment with an endocrinologist to discuss HRT.  It's very much a preliminary discussion, I just want to hear from a doctor what's involved (hopefully it won't be much different than what I've discovered through my own research and reading people's entries here, but hearing it from a doctor makes it more "real").  I was originally scheduled for tomorrow morning but they called yesterday to see if I could come in today instead, which is gr

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