Costumes and reality

Good morning everyone,

On Friday I mentioned that I had a goal over the weekend to go out "presenting as a woman" (as opposed to just appearing far more feminine than I used to).  I wasn't 100% certain what that meant when I said it, but on Sunday I did follow through.  I was fortunate that the drag queen who I always go see on Tuesday was doing a special Sunday Brunch show at noon, so I used that as my location.  

Much of what I did was pretty typical for what I do already.  I wore my gray "Blossom Where You're Planted" top, khaki shorts, and multi-color shoes (too many colors to list).  Did my usual make-up routing - eye brows, eye liner, mascara, blush and lipstick.  What I did in addition to that was to wear my fake breasts and butt pads.

I don't know how well it really worked, but I don't know how I would have known that anyway unless someone actually said something to me about it - the fact that nobody did suggests that I didn't do that well.  But that's not the big "take-away" for me.

The big thing for me was how much it felt like a costume.  Not all of it, really just the fake breasts (the butt pads probably could have too, but I tend to forget I have them on).  It made me realize even more how much I want this to be real, and not a costume.  I could see the breasts (at least the shape of them), but they weren't real, I didn't feel them.  Interestingly, I liked the feel of the bra strap on my back, that felt like it belongs there.

I think that's also why I'm hoping that the finasteride prescription will fill in my hair more so that I don't have to wear a wig.  But perhaps once I'm further along (HRT kicking in), I won't mind the one "costume" item.

Today is probably the day that an email goes out to the 2 student groups I work with - so "Christie" will be a full reality at work (though most of the students already know due to some leakage of information).  And Saturday I have my endocrinologist appointment - so this should be a big week 

xoxo

Christie