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Making The Most of Internet Dating

The two most popular "free" dating websites are OkCupid ("OkC") and Plenty of Fish ("PoF"), with feedback from people preferring PoF over OkC because PoF has a higher number of members.  Remember, you are PAYING for the so-called "free" websites by giving them your private information (check their terms of usage) and they accept advertising that usually shows up on sidebars and above and below their content.  

Be aware that when you "delete" your profile, often it is not removed.  Be prepared to CALL customer service to ask for it to be removed, and ask them to remove it while you are on the phone with them.  Many dating websites maintain so-called "dead" profiles to artificially inflate their membership numbers.  "Free" dating websites usually do not have telephone customer service.  

Dating websites tend to favor those who are physically attractive and have high income levels.  Some who don't photograph well or who have lower incomes may do better at meetups or gender conferences.

Be aware when you upload pictures that they will FILL UP the viewer's screen, showing every little detail.  If possible, have a friend take multiple pictures of you doing the things you enjoy, in a variety of clothing, making sure there is at least one good head, waist high and full body shot.

Be wary of scammers.  Do NOT send money under ANY circumstances!

Do not be discouraged when you get few replies, because there are many "dead" profiles from people who thought they deleted them, but they weren't.

Focus on profiles that are featured under, "New Members This Week," "New Members Near You," "Who's On IM (Instant Messaging)," and "Who's Online."  These are most likely "live" profiles of current members.

Take the time to carefully READ the profile of the member you are responding to, and to write a PERSONALIZED (not canned!) response.  

If you are transgender, you need to mention this in your profile and replies.



Do not share your income (not even checking your "income bracket").

Do not mention any kind of disability (not even checking off "disability").

Do not mention anything NEGATIVE.  Avoid "Too Much Information"  ("TMI").  When you meet, you will have plenty of time to share details.

Be aware users can look up your profile on OTHER dating websites based on your photographs and by quoting contents of your profile.

Be honest.  You hurt others and yourself because you want to attract others who will like you for you, not for someone you are pretending to be.

Do not discuss your work.  This includes pictures of you at work and in uniform.

Do not include pictures of others (especially children!), with or without permission.  

Do not upload photographs of your home(s), property, cars or of yourself wearing expensive jewelry, etc.


Remember, it behooves you to learn all you can about Internet dating, because one out of five couples meet through internet dating websites.  

Suggest trying PoF and OkC for six months, and, if no success, try paid websites.

Have found making friends with partnered couples, because, for some reason, they tend to know well put together singles.  Let them know you are looking!  

http://www.TGPersonals.com (Free, and found wonderful friends there!).  For men and women.

http://www.PinkWink.com (Great deal for $39.95 a YEAR, excellent customer service, and, best of all, VERY trans-friendly!).  Lesbians only.

http://www.lastinglesbianlove.com (Blog and although written for Lesbians only, great advice for anyone).  VERY trans-friendly!

http://www.youhaulher.com (Again, blog and although written for Lesbians only, great advice for anyone).

Wishing the best for all those who seek love, that they may find it!


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Remember when dating that many tend to leave their guard down which is unwise. Meeting for drinks, never accept a glass of something that you did not see being opened or go to the restroom leaving your drink there on the table. There are people who might lace your drink with some form of date rape drug.  Tell a friend your plans and when you are expected home with a check in. If possible, and when appropriate take a picture of their car's tags and email to a friend so that if something bad happens this can be given to police.

Never invite them back to your place until you are comfortable which for me might be three or four dates and then ahead of time will make sure valuables are hidden.

In regards to transgender, as Monica indicated to disclose this until they have acknowledge this fact. I have needed to do this a handful of times, not with online dating but when out with friends where it happens somewhat like they come over to your table and interjecting into your conversation, ask to buy you a drink etc. Be careful how you tell them you are trans as it can offend their manhood especially if they are intoxicated.

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