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I have always had abandonment issues. I guess I always knew that things will eventually get to this point in my life where not only everyone I love and hold dear no longer have the inclination or strength to stand by me but I, myself have to abandon my own life which has been built on a lie.
It this point I feel helpless against the current pulling me towards my transition. I tried to stem the tide and pretend it is not so but, I lost the battle and like before have no otherway but forward. 
People say I am selfish but, from where I stand the selfish thing to do is suiside which again seems quite attractive as apposed to faking another 30 years of my life.
No I will move forward and live my life by embracing myself and the people who have the courage, like me, to live life against the ods.

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Hiya Bianca/KourtneyB.  My Wife tells Me that I Am being selfish, because I started Transitioning in the first place. Yet, She has been cheating on Me, for 2 Year's, with Other Men, and Other Women. So Who is being Selfish ?  Bianca, You carry-on with Your Transitioning Sweetheart.  As I said about Myself, I kept things hidden away for 50 Year's, but, in the end, the Mask slipped away, to Never, Ever, Return.  I Have made 3 Suicide Attempt's, between August, 1988, and February, 1996. I won't Ever try that again !  Bianca, You continue with Your Transitioning Sweetheart. Also, No, You are Not being Selfish. The Mask has finally slipped Love. Please, be True to Yourself, and Yes, if it means putting Yourself first, for the first time in Your Life, well then Good On You. Bianca, as My Friend's have been telling Me, I Am entitled to live My life, and Bianca,:so are You entitled to live Your Life too !  I have been Fully; Full-Time; Female-Dressed; and Living; for Very Nearly 7 Month's, Now, and as a Person, I have Never, Ever, been Happier. If You can find a Trans.-Friendly venue, that You can visit Regularly, that too might help You. It has certainly helped Me, and I go out once a Week, to Pink Punters, at Fenny Stratford, near Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, UK. I stay over, at the Campanile Hotel, which is 3 minutes Walk, across the Road, from the Nightclub. Pink Punters is the World Famous L.G.B.T. venue.  Bianca, just doing something like that Sweetheart, may help You out. If You would like to Speak with Me, just let Me Know, because it does Help to chat.  Bianca, Good Luck, Take Care, and My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo 

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