Hi guys, Blair here again for another blog update,
Today I want to talk about how I voiced my first ever thoughts of doing what I'm doing today and how the people I told reacted. Mostly this was my family first that is why is titled "coming out to my family"
Before I decided to voice any thoughts to my family I decided to At least say these things out loud to a friend. Luckily I had a friend who is somewhat new in my life but really is the type of friend I needed to be able to be silly... about who I am or how I act. Even before I voiced any thoughts about my journey I remember wanting to get my nails done for the first time, her response was nothing out the ordinary, and like it wasn't fake it was as if to her that it was completely natural and there was no questions asked. It truly made me feel at comfortable with who I am and what I wanted to do to express myself, she also helped me learn a valuable lessons that I shouldn't have to "expect" people to react a certain way or put myself down to tell them things, like if I wanted to paint my nails pink they why ... shouldn't I? And if I think I look fabulous in them why shouldn't I shout that. Why should I downplay that to make others feel more comfortable with it?
Anyways back on topic ahaha
So I told her and basically voicing it for the first time to someone else really shows how ready you are for what you want to do and how comfortable you are telling people. So for me it was a perfect tester before telling my family. I only describe how amazing my friend is because that is the type of friend, teacher, councilor who you want to tell as it makes you feel completely at ease with who you are. It certainly will give you a idea of how ready you are and really give you the confidence you need to take the next step.
So I then told my mother.. Oh wow I can still taste the emotion while writing this as when I was telling her that day. Her response was typical responses that I had read online. She said things like "why are you taking away something from me", "everyone will disown win you", "who put you onto this crap".
Quite frankly some really hurtful things as from anybody you want your mother to hold your hand and say everything is going to be okay. I guess that really prepared me and gave me my armor to combat any negative comments that I would soon face.
Over time and just recently after showing her my overwhelming amount of support and hearing her own friends say how beautiful I was, was she able to really embrace it. Now in this short span of a couple months is she now not only "okay" with it, but also embraces it and loves me even more deeply. Quick shout out to my mum. I love you so much xxxxx
Anyways again, BACK ON TOPIC
I then decided to tell my father and 2 sisters. That is basically my immediate family they had the same reaction as my mother but we're even more a little bit hostile with it. They were not blunt about their concerns for me and did not really think about what they were saying so it Didn’t hurt or discourage me. I kind of felt that like the entire coming out to my family was me making sure there okay instead of them making sure I'm okay in "my" journey. Funny how that works out. But that's how it worked out and it took quite some time but now like my mother in a short amount of time is embracing it. I also would not change any moment of it as it really prepared me for the next steps in my coming out. Family also means a lot to me so I spent a lot of time concealing them to make sure that there emotions were fine. If you’re this type of person, don't stress to much. Don't forget to focus on you!!
To give a little context to my family they are the normal typical outdoor backyard cricket type of Aussie family. My thoughts of telling them and then being accepting and understanding, let alone embracing it, where never what I thought could be possible. I guess that just shows how you really can tell your family anything. So if your scared about coming out to your family, just think of how I went about it and how they reacted and just know that it does get better and soon enough especially with hopeful support from friends and school, that everyone around you will not only accept you but embrace you.
To summarize, the message in this blog update that I'm trying to get across (probably failing) is that, I have a normal day family who I thought in my wildest dreams would never accept me, turned around in a short period of time and ended up embracing me and celebrating me. If your scared and fearful of rejection and all those crazy thoughts going on in your head about coming out just know that it's not impossible and your family may just surprise you. It is so worth it.
Again if you have any questions please feel free to comment or message me. Also if you ever want to talk or get advice, I am here. That's why I do this. I would love to write more I don't want to loose concentration, as this message is important.
Hopefully someone has taken something out of this. Thanks for reading xoxoxo