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Therapy? No

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I no longer have any desire to see a "therapist". I think it will perpetuate the medical profession's opinion that I somehow have a mental illness if I sign up for that. It's hard enough to get the medical types to take us seriously as it is. I have friends to talk to, I have my husband, and I have my FTM support group. For now, that will suffice, I think. At one point, I thought it might have been a good idea to talk to a stranger about stuff, but... no. I don't want to. Not anymore.

I know that at some point, I will have to sit in front of one, while they ask me probing and insensitive questions about my sex life, my sexuality, my body image, my feelings, what I had for breakfast. But I'm prepared for that because it's part of the process I have to undertake, if I'm ever going to get the treatment I need, want, desire, whatever you wanna call it. I've heard horrible stories about the kind of questions they ask and how seemingly irrelevant they can be. And having to answer questions like that makes me shiver. But it has to be done at some point. I'm resigned to that.

Until that day comes, I'll stick to my current support network.


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Posted

Jay,

I wonder why you wrote this. What was the context? Is someone suggesting that you see a therapist? Or, as you contemplate more steps along your journey you know that your medical establishment will insist on it for some sort of approval? Anyway, as you say, to each his own! If you don't feel the need, don't go, because unless you have a need driven by some inner concern or turmoil, what would you even talk about?

But I will say that it's doubtful that they would ask "insensitive questions" should you go. In my experience (with so many over, my goodness, thirty years off and on) they typically just ask what is going on for me, and only ask questions for clarification. That said, I have found good ones and better ones. Some I connect to better than others. We are all people and there needs to be a chemistry of trust, respect (mutual), and faith that he/she has the wherewithal to help. Unfortunately that can take a while to determine, so it is an investment of time and money.

I was also surprised to learn at least for me that therapy isn't like debugging a program or typo: identify the problem, determine the fix, and voila! All done and repaired. Nope, doesn't work that way.

It's much more subtle and gradual. Maybe that is just my experience. I carried such a heavy load of shame and guilt over my TG feelings, and depression. The lifting of that load wasn't even obvious to me while it was happening. And then I started to wonder, is it happening? I'm feeling a little better, maybe this is a result? Indeed, after more time and sessions with my therapist, I can say that it has.

Please know that I am most definitely not advising you to see one. I just wanted to share my experience in the hopes that, should you ever feel the need, this might help you.

Hugs,

Emma

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