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And woke up to life going off the rails again today.

Briannah

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Sometimes I just don't feel appropriate emotions to what is happening.  My best freind's husband is on suicide watch, and I really care for her, but not so much for him anymore.  He doesn't listen to the doctors.  He treats her like crap.  He makes no effort to get better, and spends a lot of time telling me how awful a wife she is, bragging about the time he had an affair, and other things that I honestly would have divorced the dude over, but she just sighs and says that's how he is.  She deserves so much better, but nothing I can do about it. 

I really don't want her to be in pain, and I don't wish ill on anymore, but I just can't muster it within to really CARE beyond about her needs, ya know? 



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Neither of them have dysphria, the only person I know offline with disyphoria is my husband.  P is my best friend, she works with Nikki.  J is her husband, and has been in severely declining health the last few years.  But he's making it worse, he's not exercising(which is a HUGE control for his condition), he's still chain smoking, and drinking masses of sugar and caffeine that all increase the stress on his body and make it worse.  When he WAS doing his rehab and following the rule she improved dramatically.  And socially he's sort of put me to the point where I don't care.  I SHOULD care that someone is suffering that much.  I should care hugely that it's someone I know, but I just...can't.  I see all the suffering he causes her, and I just can't. 

I don't want him to die, I would call for help if I walked in on something, but mostly because SHE would suffer losing her husband more than to save a person.  Sometimes I just don't feel what I should feel. 

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