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The Present

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Fast forward to the present times; I met this girl about 15 months ago. She came in to the unit where I worked, angry, very angry.  Her back was up; she was ready for a fight. I wanted to keep my distance, but I was her trainer. Lucky me, I get o train all the new people. So, over time, I became her friend. I think she was just nervous in her new position. She had some bad times before hand in her past positions so she was ready for a fight in this new posting, except no one here was willing to fight with her, not even just a bit. We showed her what to do then left her to do it or not as she chose. She could do the work or not do it or whatever, no one was on her back and the supervisors hardly were seen. They had to deal with me and that kept their hands full. Yes I am a pain in the lower extremes. So they avoided me, (She worked right next to me,) so I would go to their office and alert them to my problems. They would love my visits, as they usually meant more work. I was welcomed like the plague of locus. So she was left on her own to do as she pleased. So she learned her new position in a place where no one was on her back. Her old position they were always on her back. Remember she was small so she had trouble with the heavy parts of the job. Here we either would help her or let her lift what she could and I would do the rest. Once she was accustomed to the world of her new assignment, where people where helpful, Zen like and over all just chill, she calmed down. She is small, Feisty but small, 5 feet tall, very thin, maybe 100-110 lbs. Long hair and very pretty. I would say I am biased on the last part of her being pretty but she seems to get a lot of attention from all the other males who work in other departments so I am thinking she is pretty attractive to the male population. I guess I was "liking her" even before *I* knew I "liked" her. One of the bosses made fun of me for liking "Boi p*ssy" (I think that is what he called it.) because I write poetry or so I thought. Was there something in her file? At this point that was all I could think of. Could have been a stupid comment or was it more than that. I may never know really, not like I can go and ask. Well, I liked her enough to be her friend. Or to try to be her friend she was difficult to be around. She was and is hard to get to know. She was abrasive in some instances and generally not someone that you could get close to or even try to. Or was it just me that she was abrasive to and trying to push away? She seems fine with everyone else but sometimes I wonder. Was she pushing me away even then because she liked me too? Or was it all my imagination? I won't doubt that it is all in my so called mind. What sort of broke the ice was when she asked about my audio books. I was listening to books while I worked and she asked me about them I told her everything and she asked for copies. I was like sure. And I got them for her. I would like to think now, and certainly did then, that I was trying to be nice to her and make a friend. Could it have been an early stage of attraction? Some girls are attracted to bigger guys or so I hear. Don’t you love going back over old memories to see what you were thinking so long ago and see how the past is altered by your thinking today?



Or is that just me?



Thus began this strange journey into the deep unknown!



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Dear Trans-Formation,

First, I am amazed on how fast I change, even looking back six months ago, a year ago, 18 months ago, 24 months ago, etc.  Every ten years we change almost completely physically as every cell in our body is replaced every ten years.

As for the girl, often people draw together, then push apart, as they deal with their attraction to another person.  How I deal with that is to take my time in getting to know someone.

Remember, sudden attraction, (especially physical) is often a symptom of limerence or lust, not love.  

Like to say, "Let's be friends first!"

Your friend,



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