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Transgendered Mentors A Myth?



Along the way through our gender journey some of us have identified as a transvestite, transgender or a transsexual person.

For most of us the trip has been a very lonely one. Many have longed for a friend or a mentor to help along the way. Most of you I communicate with still are looking for a magical transgender mentor.

For the most part, I don't think she exists in the traditional sense.

I was lucky. I did reach out to a few women who did help me. One actually made me up once but then sold me out later. The others were actually more of mental role models whose constant input centered around the true female realities. In essence I was experiencing the female positives and living none of the negatives.

A true mentor is hard to find. In fact I think more and more genetic women suffer from lack of mentors. They are female of course but not women. A topic for another post.

The magical mentor who can transport to your chosen gender is in reality yourself.

Sure a woman can apply your makeup and as you fall in love with your new beautiful face (especially if the woman who applied it is in a relationship with you) the dynamics can change radically.

All of a sudden, you could become competition or you become reality. All of the talking and planning is behind both of you and your girl self is in front of her.

In some of our cases (me) I loved what I saw and pushed my mentor for more and more. She was a very strong person (deceased) and kept pushing me into her world. Perhaps you have read one of my older posts "You Make A Terrible Woman". Her entire point was I was looking the part but so what? I had no understanding of what reality was as a woman.

At that point I became my own mentor. I observed and became a student of a feminine life. Sure, I can never experience the problems of a monthly period or the agony and ecstasy of child birth but I can express my female self on my own terms.

Perhaps you are one of the very few who a genetic female has taken by the hand and guided along the feminine gender path.

Congratulations! For the rest of us, get going girls. Do what genetic women have always done. Deal with life the best you can and make it yours.


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Very true hun , no one can make you a woman simply show a path that so many only look upon in couriosity and awe of the strength a woman holds within her tender grasp .

I have a great woman who I now call my best friend she has inspired me , caused great pains within my heart and still showed my heart how to have love through out these times , I look to her for guidance and recieve non yet see every thing I will ever need by simply walking along her side .

I spent 18 years as her loving husband and will spend the rest of my life trying to repay her for the love she holds for her girlfriend , she grows more in love with me daily and yet I find my heart can open even wider with the love I hold for her ... It is a truly amazing thing the love us woman hold inside , the pains we endure , the sufferage we manage on a daily basis yet move forward guiding those around us ... I never thought I could have learned any more then I have from those woman I called Family growing up , yet I do still and will till the day I breath the last breath from my chest .

I hope to be a fraction of the woman she and so many I have been privilaged to know in my life , I have many female friends on the everyday and non will ever know how much they mean to me , yet I will try to show them with my respect and love . just as any other woman would and has done for me . they have also shown me that it is ok to show that I am a real Bit** when I need to be , to stand up to those when I need to , and make a point when it needs to be made .

I may never feel the joys of a child growing inside of me , but I know the agony that a loss of a child brings to ones heart , a miscarriage is not a sole feeling form the one who has it , it is felt by both , I know this and suffer with the pain still 16 years later .. I know the pains a woman feels as she moves through puberty , as her body grows and forms the woman she will walk through life as , I suffer the monthly torments of mother natures torments as any other woman yet bleed nothing outwardly ... do these things make me less of a woman , do I not still need a mentor to guide me through my life . The trueth is that even the simplest of acts in a woman's life needs a mentoring to , like when you use a ladies rest room , how many look under the stalls to see if it is occupied before they push upon the door , guess what if my mentor never told me this little thing I would have looked like a 5 year old for the first outing by myself in the big girls potty , but she helped me and still does today .. I ask my mother questions she has to offer like any other mother would teach their daughter , she to mentors me , and I hope to mentor others here as I hope you to would Cyrsti , your a mentor whether you believe it or not , others look to your guidance that you offer .

Keep up the good works Sister your an inspiration to so many .

Hugs and Kisses


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I found your article very interesting.

I cannot know what this is like since I am cisgender. I am able to relate to it in spiritual matters however.

In my case when one goes beyond the doctrines of man, the teachings of the television preacher and the pet peeves of those whom meant well yet held others back it gets lonely. You can have Christians all around you and never feel as one of them. In my case those whom are truly brothers and sisters of one Spirit can be counted on both hands.

I do cherish the ministers that took the time to teach me and the brothers and sisters in Christ that have been there along the way but when it's all said and done it's the Lord who has been the only one I can rely upon in my worst times.

Just as you say you become your own mentor in like manner this can be said about a Christian that is not content to be like everyone else. You sort of separate yourself unto the Lord and allow His Spirit to guide and teach if you are the type of minister that is serious. Sort of like how Paul separated himself and how they took note of John and Peter that they were ignorant and unlearned men but they had been with Jesus.

I didn't mean to twist your topic to religion. I am merely saying that in some ways I can agree with the pain and frustration of being a lamb among wolves and alone as when the Lord was being tried and all men forsook him. It does get lonely when all think you're a joke because you didn't go to seminary or don't care to have a huge church. I would rather have the Spirit of God teach me and minister to a half dozen people that really want to know the Lord than be rich and sell out and damn myself and those who hear me.

Once again, I loved your post. I hope that you can find a mentor that will bring you the joy you long for.

Take care kiddo.

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