Bonnie

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Everything posted by Bonnie

  1. Bonnie added a post in a topic cis women support for CDs   

    I am sure Lisa will be great!  Remember makeup depends on where you might be going when you wear it. Be sure to shave with sharp razors, heat your face first with hot water, then the cream, then shave then moisturize your face.
    Clothes shopping is as discussed on another post.  Lisa will not be able to take you to the women's stores she knows unless she is a tall as you.  When you do find a store for tall women she can go with you.  Be sure the store will let you use the change rooms.  Lisa can find out for you.
    Voice.... yes yes yes.   I need so much practice.  I still go out and I try to soften my voice.  I don't exactly pass so no big deal if my voice gives me away.  I still need to practice though.  Many good videos on YouTube.
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  2. Bonnie added a post in a topic Six feet plus blues!   

    Hi Davi!
    BTW I am on FetLife too!  Ottawa (BonnieR)
    3 " heels for me puts me around 6'2".  I tower over many women but not all.  I am average height when I am with transwomen.  Most if not all major cities have stores for tall women and they usually sell shoes too for large feet.  I take 13 womens if they are close toed and 12 if they are open toed.  I have one pair of flats which I haven't worn outside yet. Maybe this summer.  The only shapewear I use are breast forms.  I have tried hip and ass shapers but they just didn't look right and they were lost in a purge.  If you ever think of purging don't!!!!  Contact me if you do and we will talk.
    Do not wear heels if you are not going to have something firm underfoot like a floor, concrete, asphalt, etc.  Sure they make your legs look great but if you are on grass or sand or dirt then your heels will sink in.  You will have to tip toe around. 
    I hope this helps.
    Bonnie
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  3. Bonnie added a comment on a blog entry Is There A Place For Short-Term Relationships?   

    Do not give up what you have until you are absolutely sure you are bettering your present situation.  Date but stay living separately.  I am sure you can have sleepovers at each others places.  That way you will get to know whether or not you can deal with the other persons idiosyncrasies.  I can't see the pet thing being worked around so make sure that is in your Profile if you are using a dating site.  I am not looking for a partner nor am I a so called moral person.  I am looking for sex and am having a lot of fun.  A few of my men have been long term and the others are occasional.  One man did ask me if we could be exclusive and I said no and why.  He accepted my reasons and comes to see me at least once a week.  It is working well for me.  I am going out more often now because I found a club where I could meet other transwomen so my translife is expanding even at my age.  I am being complimented by men, women and other transwomen for my appearance and my openness.  My sexual needs are being met and my social needs are also being met.  If by some chance I do meet the man for me then so be it but I am not looking for him nor do I actually think I will meet him.  I am living one day at a time.
    I have two other outlets that keep me going too.  I play a lot of hockey, as a guy, and afterwards there is beer and food so I am having a social life. I did come out to about 8 players of one group I play with so we do talk about it at times but not often.  The other outlet is a cyber world called Second Life (SL).  I go there most evenings and I started out as a pre-op transwoman but am now a woman for all intents and purposes.  I live a very happy life there and especially since I bought a better computer over a year ago.  It is a great place for those who live alone and can't get out much and you can create a beautiful young looking avatar.  Because of my lack of finances because I was married before I have worked as a stripper for most of my time in SL.  The money I made, in their currency, allowed me to buy clothes and a rent a place to live.  I am now a DJ at the club I was a stripper at.  Drama still occurs there because people are still people.
    I state all this just to tell you how I have been coping with living alone.  It is not for most but maybe you can find something I do or think helpful.
    Bonnie
    PS   When I say I am not a moral person it is because many of the men are married.  To me that is not my issue it is the men's.  I did not go looking for them they found me.
     
     
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  4. Bonnie added a post in a topic Xtall women's clothing   

    There are brick and mortar stores that have clothes and heels in large sizes.  By large sizes I mean for Plus sizes and then there are stores for tall sizes.  These stores usually have dealt with transwomen and what I did was to phone ahead and talk to someone about whether or not the store is comfortable with my friend trying on clothes there.  One store said they would stay open for an hour longer or come in when the store first opens since there is usually no one shopping right away.  Another store said it was perfectly ok.  My friend went in drab and I went en femme to support him.  We went to the store that said it was ok.  I chatted with the sales woman as she helped my friend.  He was buying a bra and panty set and was measured and tried some on.  I had already taken him to a thrift store where he bought a number of things.  He would hold things up and I would give my opinion on it.  No one gave us a second look.  Well if they did it was no big deal.  I was dressed quite respectfully.
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  5. Bonnie added a post in a topic Nylon stockings or pantyhose   

    Hi Chantelle!  Welcome to TG Guide!
    I do understand the need for pantyhose especially when your skirt or shorts are short or for officewear.
    Bonnie
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  6. Bonnie added a post in a topic I hate shoes!   

    We have Long Tall Sally here in Ottawa, Canada and I have been.  Very nice store.  They sell clothing too.
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  7. Bonnie added a post in a topic The Gay Turtle   

    It is very sad that people care so much about what your orientation is and they are not even looking for a partner since they have one already.  I think people fear that their children or grandchildren will be LGBT and so they will not provide them with natural children.  If we can make it socially unacceptable to be LGBT then the next generation will live hetero lives whether they want to or not.  This really means that we don't give a damn about you and we care about ourselves more and what people think about me.  You being LGBT will cause me to be embarrassed among friends and family.  And I really don't want to think about how you have sex!!!  OMG!!! 
    In the situation the video examines I don't see anyone planning on buying two turtles or saying they need a female or male one because the one they have at home is male or female.  They are buying just one turtle so what difference would it make?
    Briannah, since the people were acting it is difficult to say how many people actually come into the shop to buy a turtle.
    Bonnie
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  8. Bonnie added a post in a topic Virginia Ties   

    Thank you Erica.  My comment was simply to complicate things in a humourous manner.  You are correct and I feel the same way, transgenderism should not be a complicated thing to understand.  Love, no matter the gender, should not be a complicated thing but for some reason it is.  This site is here to support and to educate.  We support each other and we educate each other.  Once we understand ourselves both as an individual and as a group we can go out and support and educate others.  I have been doing that much more in this past year and plan to do more this coming year.
    Bonnie 
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  9. Bonnie added a post in a topic Southern Comfort Transgender Conference Has Been Discontinued As Of December 10, 2016   

    I just found some additional info;
    Dear SCTC family,

    It is with a heavy heart that we must announce that 2016 was the last The Southern Comfort Transgender Conference (SCTC) as you have known it for the past 26 years.

    What most of you don’t know is that we, the Southern Comfort Board of Directors (both current and a couple of past members), have been involved in a five year lawsuit that only recently concluded. Please don’t ask. As part of the settlement, we cannot discuss it at all.

    Suffice it to say that it was a five year nightmare that completely handcuffed the BOD. Some have wondered why there were no new people brought onto the board. Now you know. Anyone that would have joined the BOD would have become unnecessarily involved in the litigation.

    Fortunately, we did have liability insurance and that covered the legal fees of the case. However, as a result of being in a five year lawsuit, we were dropped by our insurance company (though they were obligated to continue until the lawsuit was resolved, which they did). Subsequently, SCTC had to find a new insurance policy. Only two companies would even offer a policy to us. Our premium went from $1300.00/year with no deductible to $11,000.00/year with a $25,000.00 deductible.

    We just can’t afford this and, this lawsuit proved that we (the current BOD) simply cannot afford to run the conference without insurance. Had we not had the insurance policy, we would have been personally liable.

    There is talk amongst a couple of the BOD to try to reorganize SCTC into something very new. Please continue your Facebook and Yahoo group presence to stay informed; any future updates on any plans will be posted to keep you informed. Otherwise, any money that is left in our account, which is being held in escrow by our attorney, will be donated to a worthy trans organization.

    We’re sorry to bring you this sad news right before the holidays, but you deserve to know what’s going on.

    It has been our extreme honor to serve you all throughout the years and we wish you all the best!

    With love,
    Your SCC/SCTC Board of Directors:
    Shanti Keshavi devi dasi (Stefanie Schumacher)
    Alexis Dee
    Christy Anderson
    Phyllis McCall
    http://transgriot.blogspot.ca/2016/12/southern-comfort-conference-shuts-down.html
    ​BOD I am assuming means Board of Directors
    Of course without knowing what they were sued for and why they lost makes it very difficult for other conferences to guard themselves against the very same thing don't you think?
    Bonnie
     
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  10. Bonnie added a post in a topic Southern Comfort Transgender Conference Has Been Discontinued As Of December 10, 2016   

    I wonder what they were sued for and from the sounds of it they must have lost a large sum.
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  11. Bonnie added a post in a topic Virginia Ties   

    Hi Monica!  I am older than you.  ​  I know the expression quite well I just like to put in comments to throw people off kilter a bit.  As far as my age goes I do my best not to act it.  I am 64 and act like a 25 yo.  I wished I looked like one I quite often dress like one but that depends on where I am going or what my dates like to see me in.  Anyway, thank you my dear for the explanation.
    Hugs
    Bonnie
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  12. Bonnie added a post in a topic Virginia Ties   

    Apples and oranges are different? 
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  13. Bonnie added a post in a topic What are you wearing right now?   

    Right now I am in my comfy clothes.  A blue and gray wide striped sweater dress and floral satiny panties.  Nothing else.
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  14. Bonnie added a post in a topic Miniskirts are making a comeback   

    Bri, if you are going to wear a mini skirt you don't wear your turtle panties you wear something sexier. 
    Bonnie
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  15. Bonnie added a post in a topic Miniskirts are making a comeback   

    I like wearing mini skirts and I have quite a few, however, I don't wear them out very often because I am trying not to draw attention to myself.  My age is an issue too.
    Bonnie
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  16. Bonnie added a post in a topic One Love - opening at the Valentine 12-1 Richmond Va .   

    Wonderful, Ellen, simply wonderful!
    Bonnie
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  17. Bonnie added a post in a topic First Event 2017   

    I need to win a lottery so I could travel to all these very good events.
    Bonnie
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  18. Bonnie added a post in a topic Fantasia Fair   

    That would be great to attend.
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  19. Bonnie added a post in a topic Name change question   

    I will tell you how I chose mine.  My full name is Bonnie Dawn Ryba - BDR.  My male name initials are also BDR.  My male first name is Scottish and so is Bonnie.  Bonnie was the first girl I liked as a friend when I was about 5 or 6.  She was the sister of one of the boys who I knew or one of my younger brothers knew.  I liked being with her.  It was on a military base in Germany so we weren't there for long (3 years).  When we moved back to Canada I never did see her again but I always remembered her and so I use her name.  I chose Dawn because it is the beginning of a new day.  Ryba was chosen from a list of names that came up after I entered Bonnie as a first name on the virtual reality site called Second Life.  Ryba began with R like my real name and it had 4 letters like my real name.  I found out later that it means 'fish' in Polish and that didn't bother me at all.
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  20. Bonnie added a post in a topic Church sign saying 'Satan made gays' covered in black paint   

    This just shows how Hate can be placed upon whole groups of people no matter how those people really are.  There is evil everywhere in all groups and countries and races and the best place to look for it is at the top.  The people with power or the people behind that power.  I am not saying that all people with power are evil because they are not.  I am saying that is the best place to look for it.  So when someone is out there preaching hate then I would look very closely at them and question them.  It is easy to blanket a whole group of people by pointing at something in the Bible or the Koran or whatever Hitler used to convince the Germans that Jews should be exterminated.  Anyone who instills fear into the populace should seriously be questioned on their motives.  Look at all the horrible ways people have been put to death on behalf of Good!  How can good people do such things?  They can't unless they do it out of fear that that will happen to them if they don't go along.  If you question the power to be then you place yourself at risk of persecution.  The LGBT is challenging society by asking what is wrong with loving another of the same gender?  What is wrong with wanting to live as the gender you mentally are?  Just the questioning itself is scary for those in power.  They don't like being challenged.  It seems to me that is why these books were created in the first place and then everyone told they can't be questioned.  That is like saying that books of law can't be questioned or changed.  Tell people some god guided the person or persons to write the laws and then they can't ever be questioned or changed.
    ISIL is a perfect example of how Evil has gained control of a group on the justifications of being Good.  How can anyone Good be so cruel and vicious?
    Bonnie
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  21. Bonnie added a topic in Transgender Events   

    Toronto Pride and Ottawa Pride 2016
    This year Toronto Pride 2016 will be for a whole month.  June 1 to July 3.  I should have posted this earlier, however, the July 1-3 will be the best part of it.   July 1 is also Canada's birthday so there will be a whole lot of partying going on Friday.  http://www.pridetoronto.com/pride-month/
    I had gone to the one in Toronto numerous times and was planning on going again this year but I am low on cash so will have to miss it this year.  I will go to the one where I live here in Ottawa in August.  August 15 - 21.  http://ottawacapitalpride.ca/  I had gone to this one last year for my first time.
    Bonnie
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  22. Bonnie added a topic in Transgender News & Happenings   

    High Costs for Transgender Men and Women
    Transition process full of surprising costs for transgender men and women
    Even in Canada, transitioning can cost as much as 'a house in a small town'
    Stef Sanjati is a 20-year-old Toronto-based makeup artist and YouTube star who is chronicling her male-to-female transition through candid, funny, and somewhat addictive short video updates. Within the next year, she hopes to travel to Boston for facial feminization surgery and expects expenses for the trip and procedure to reach $45,000. Because she only has $5,000 in savings, she has turned to the crowd-funding platform GoFundMe for the rest.
    On her GoFundMe page, Sanjati explains how the expensive procedures will change her life more than physically: “These surgeries are about feeling like you, every day, when you wake up in the morning - before cinching, pulling, and covering every inch of your body with body shapers, tape, and cosmetics. They're about recognizing yourself in the mirror, and feeling like living, going outside, is possible, and not something to dread.”
    https://ca.finance.yahoo.com/blogs/insight/the-surprising-costs-of-transitioning-can-put-some-transgender-people-in-danger-202146371.html
    She talks about the high cost of changing your wardrobe for transwomen and for makeup.  For me that is the cost of being a woman anyway.  The extra costs would be in the body shapers and the hair removal along with the non-covered surgeries if you decide to go that far.
    Bonnie
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  23. Bonnie added a topic in Transgender News & Happenings   

    The First Transgender Cover Star of "Women's Running"
    Meet Amelia Gapin The First Transgender Cover Star Of Women’s Running
    The cover of the July issue of Women’s Running magazine looks much like the other covers of the popular sports and fitness mag. But it’s unique for one pretty special reason: it features the magazine’s first-ever transgender cover star.
    Say hello to 33-year-old, Amelia Gapin. She’s pretty badass, not least for her sporting prowess that has seen her compete in eight marathons, but also because she beat 3,000 other cover star hopefuls to make history fronting The Body Issue of the running mag.
    “Being a transgender woman on the cover of a magazine dedicated to women says people like me are not just being seen, but being seen for who we are,” Gapin told the magazine in her cover interview. 
    “It’s a feeling of acceptance, inclusivity and being welcomed.”
    https://ca.style.yahoo.com/meet-amelia-gapin-the-first-transgender-cover-star-132240736.html
    Congratulations Amelia!
    Bonnie
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  24. Bonnie added a topic in Transgender News & Happenings   

    Two spirit: gay, indigenous and out
    Two spirit: gay, indigenous and out
    Massey Whiteknife recalls having to go to the bathroom during classes as a kid growing up in northern Alberta and not during breaks at school to avoid the bullies.
    “It was horrible. I was very feminine. I would get beat up if I went during the break,” the 37-year-old businessman from Fort McMurray told Yahoo Canada News.
    Whiteknife and other indigenous Canadians have come a long way. They have embraced their two-spiritedness despite the challenges. Whiteknife, from the Fort McKay First Nation reserve, runs a multimillion-dollar occupational training and safety business: he is out of the closet to everyone and is sometimes in public as Iceis Rain — a drag queen and recording artist.
    As an adult, Whiteknife came to understand the indigenous term of two-spiritedness, which has helped him embrace all his facets. His 2014 record, The Queen, garnered six nominations at the Aboriginal Peoples Choice Music Awards. He was the first two-spirited person to perform in drag.
    “[Iceis Rain] has become a leader and mentor in her own community.”
    It’s a bitter and rough road for many indigenous youth who are two-spirited, says Alex Wilson who’s from the Opaskwayak Cree Nation in northern Manitoba. Wilson heads the Aboriginal Education Research Centre at the University of Saskatchewan. Her focus of study is two-spirit identity development.
    “I used to perform on my own in the basement when I was a kid,” he explained. “She was reborn when I was 18. She does her own thing and I do mine.”
    “We use the two-spirit term [to refer] both to sexual orientation and gender identity,” Wilson, who is also lesbian, told Yahoo Canada News.
    “In our language it makes sense because we have roles and places for various gender and sexual identities.”
    https://ca.news.yahoo.com/two-spirit-gay-indigenous-and-out-100135855.html
    Another example of how life can appear to be so bleak with no future and then things turn for the better.  Education and assistance can go a long way.
    Bonnie
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  25. Bonnie added a post in a topic Every 36 hours a trans person is reported murdered   

    Brazil is quite bad too.
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