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Everything posted by vanessadenise

  1. In this post to my blog I am really interested in knowing what questions ran through a spouse's mind or that they asked out loud within the first month or two after their spouse came out to them and informed them of their being transgender or transsexual. Rest assure that I can pretty much guarantee you that if you had/have a question them someone else has had it before you and someone else in the future will also have it after you. From the questions that spouses/significant others of transsexuals or a transgender person post as comments to this entry, I will research to find as much information relative to and really do hope I can find the answers to them for you as well as well. If anyone would like to comment on someone else's comment, I have no objection as long as it is a respectful and helpful comment. Example Question: Did I do something to cause my spouse/significant other to identify and transition to the same gender as me???
  2. vanessadenise

    My Introduction

    Hello everyone!! My name is Vanessa Denise Capella, and I am a transsexual women a little more than a year into transition and feminine hormone replacement therapy. I am a dual degree (B.A. and M.A.L.S) in Liberal Studies, minoring in Women and Gender Studies, and concentrating in Sexuality Studies at Rutgers University (with full intentions and plans on attending Widener University for a MSW in Social Work and PhD in Human Sexuality afterwards). While I am concentrating in sexuality studies, I am more specifically specializing in LGBTQ sexuality, in which the transsexual and transgender sexuality issues are my area of concentration. Presently I am do research for an independent study course, where my topic is "The Process of Transitioning for Significant Others (spouses and long term relationship partners) of Transsexuals in Transition." I chose this topic because I personally know more transsexuals who have lost their spouse or partner during or after they transitioned to the gender they identify as and truly are as a person than I know that stayed together. Also, as many of you probably know there is very little literature, articles, research, and information pertaining to this or a related topic that deals primarily with significant others (spouses and partners) of transsexuals during transition. Any posts that anyone cares to share will only be used for my research on a completely anonymous basis (e.g.. cis-spouse & trans-spouse OR cis-partner & trans-partner), which may or may not end up getting published in professional journals; rest assure that also being transsexual I completely understand the panic around being exposed and the desire for anonymity, where as a member or our community I would never out, expose, or endanger any other transsexual or trans-identified person for that matter, especially when the nature of your story and how as a couple you were able to overcome and continue your relationship after one of you transitioned is much more important and credible than your names. If you're still uncomfortable with being exposed then by all means please refer to the individuals in the couple as the cis-partner and the trans-partner, with an extremely brief bio containing each partners anatomical sex/assumed gender (where a male that identifies and transitions to female would be the trans-partner, anatomically/assumed male, their sexual orientation (pre & post transition if different) whether or not the trans partner has had (or intends on having Gender Reassignment Surgery) or plans to live as their identified gender without obtaining GRS. Through this blog I plan on posting questions and then after I receive a reply continue with more specific questions appropriate to individual posts and possibly even have group discussions and posts. If you wish to help me in my research but even more future couples where one of the them is transsexual, but would rather not participate via blog posts, arrangements can possibly be made case by case. Thank You for your time, consideration, and participation, ~Vanessa Denise<3
  3. In this post I would like to start of by having anyone that is transsexual or cissexual and who is willing to participate in my research with the topic of "The Process of Transitioning for Significant Others of Transsexuals" please (1) give me the basic (without names or using fictitious names) description of the type of relationship you are/were involved in, (2) the gender of each partner (trans-partner has pre transition and post transition/gender identified as listed), (3) sexual orientation of both partners (pre and post transition listed if different), (4) years together (pre marriage/civil union and years married/in union), (5) whether or not you and your partner survived the transition as a couple, and (6) any types of aiding devices used by you and/or your partner (please specifically list what type of aid you used and can include but does not have to be limited to therapy with a counselor, peer support groups, social networking, reading books or journal articles). After this information is provided I will reply to your post with the appropriate questions for your individual story.
  4. I am doing a research project for Rutgers University Camden and the topic is "the process of transitioning for spouses of transsexuals", if anyone cares to share any first hand experience or literary sources.

    1. stephani


      Welcome and many dreams and hopes stand upon a well documented life , within ones words leads insights and glimpses into the truest of ones form, write with your heart and the world will read of the person the pain and the struggles that you have endured, write with an agenda and the word will shy away with silence and closed eye to what you have said.

      Luck need not apply if your heart speaks to your readers , only a tissue and a soft shoulder will be all that is needed.