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Michael's Blog

A blog by UsernameOptional in General

  • Entries

    25

  • Comments

    86

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    13,200

About this blog

hmmmm...

Entries in this blog

What a Blow!

A [very] few here know that I was sweating bullets when I decided to tell the three most important people in my life about my trueself - my mum, my girlfriend and my brother. I was worried that I would lose their love. I didn't, but things didn't remain all that smooth. While I lost the support of my mother a few short months later, my g/f and brother seemed to stay the course.   Now, I have to question just where my brother's feelings are on all this. He has been understanding and sup

The War Within a War

Some of you know that I came to Arizona the end of 2016 to be with my Mum.  I really should have gotten an apartment when I got here... but that's another story.  Fast-forward to 2020.  Add the coronavirus.  Add the heat - this place is like HELL!! .............::: deep breath :::   ::: shaking head ::: I really shouldn't complain much.  Probably shouldn't complain at all.  I'm retired, so I'm not one of the unlucky ones who's place of business or employment has closed and now I have n

Trans But Still in the Closet

Change is still slow... a lot slower than we prefer to believe. I happened to be looking around another board this morning and was running down the General Transgender Discussion forum index page when I spotted a thread with the title, "Trans but still in the closet." The thread was created in April 2018.  There were only eight replies to the thread to date.  However, that thread had been viewed nearly 16,000 times. I can think of only a few reasons why the view count is so high:

Lonely

In the thread, The Ladder, Monica expressed her desire to read the entire poem from which I took four lines to use in a post in that thread. The poem doesn't flow very well - I just hammered out enough words at the time in an attempt to rid myself of the hurt I was feeling at the time.  I might have been trying to write thru tears in the middle third of the poem.  It wasn't until the last four lines that I was able to bring it all into some kind of statement --

When You're Trans, Fantasy Trumps Reality

A couple or three months ago, I discovered a new channel in my cable channel line-up, and in doing so, spotted "Starsky and Hutch" in the primetime programming.  I hadn't seen it since it went off the air, though I did see the 2004 movie.  I've been watching the 1975-79 show since then, enjoying the action, and seeing things I never saw before. What?  I watched "S&H" religiously.  I even remembered that the show, at least for a while, came on on Wednesdays.  So why wasn't I able t

More Clarity

Somewhere around here, I've shared the fact that my mother is NOT accepting of my transgender being.  She was.  At first.  But then something changed, and she wanted to hear no more about it.  She let me know she bore only ONE son [and that wasn't me].  She's also gone so far as to say that there is "nothing 'wrong'" with me, I was just adversely influenced and affected by my work environment and the people I worked around and with - all men.  She refuses to accept that I wanted to be in job whe

Silence

It seems that with the increased amount of information we read and hear today about trangenderism, and people being told that transexuals are born as such, and are aware of it at a very young age...it seems they tend to leave out the part that not all of us state our positions starting in those tender years, that not all children will insist that they are something contrary to their physical sex/assigned gender. Because of this...my mother is convinced that I am not what I say I am, because I ne

Learning

Somewhere in one of my blog entries, I commented that to stop learning means you stop living because learning is a lifelong process. Last nite, I had been trying to help another member figure out how to apply what I soon discovered is called a "Feature Photo."  It's the image you can apply to a specific blog entry (totally seperate from your blog banner image), which also shows up in the blog index page.  After I figured it out and shared that info with the other member, I went thru my own

Time

Time Since my "limited coming out" at age 48 in 2005, I've lamented the loss of time more than I ever have. Additionally, it feels like time is flying by, mocking me. I've come to despise "father time" with every fiber of my being. I had big plans back then. Had the beginning of my rightful place in this life all mapped out. Then I discovered that the hellhole I live in doesn't have a gender therapist. There isn't one within a 4 hour drive of me. And my current situation wouldn't exactly su
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Reality of Hate

"I Am Jazz."  I've never watched the show.  A few days ago, I saw a commercial for, I guess, the new season.  Jazz mentions that she's gained a bit of weight.  I glanced up at the TV and thought to myself, "she's grown into a pretty young lady." Sitting at the computer and drawing tonite, I took a minute to flip thru the on-screen TV guide to see if there was anything on better than what was on the current channel.  I decided to check out TLC.  I noticed that "I Am Jazz" was going to come o

Karma DOES Indeed SUCK!

So, I've been here at my Mum's house long enough now that the time came to get my vehicle's license plate replaced.  I've got a new plate and now I blend in with the locals.   I've also been here long enough that my old driver's license was about to expire and I had to prepare for a new one.  Being that I was going to end up getting a license in a new state, I figured I'd go online and see what all would be required... what paperwork/documentation, or whatever, to prove I'm a legal citizen of th

I Now Pronounce You...

SPOILER ALERT - I chose to post this here in the blogs rather on the forums where it might be more visible in case the reader has not yet seen the Nat Geo documentary, "American Transgender." If reading or hearing about something before you see it doesn't bother you, then read on. If you don't like to hear about something before hand, you should skip this blog entry. American Transgender A one hour documentary that aired 01 May 2012 on the Nat Geo channel.   I first heard abo

Fear & Unacceptance

Fear and unacceptance: ingredients for a poisonous coctail.   As some here know, I came out to three people some time back: my girlfriend, my brother and my mother. My girlfriend was in shock, and things were a little rocky for a while. Not because she discovered that I was TG/TS, but that I had been lying to her (our relationship began online). Prior to coming out to anyone, I "lived my online life" as a man. No one knew that I was trans, no one knew that I wasn't just another guy - i

Some Days Flat Suck

4:15pm, 24 Oct This has been one of those rough days. I didn't wanna get up to begin with. I stayed in bed, in that half-sleep state where dreams are strange yet preferrable, and even enjoyable in their sometimes disturbing surrealness, compared to being awake and conscious of real life. But, I finally got up.   Then, I signed in to the forums and started reading. One article after another seemed to only high-light and underscore the bigotry and indifference in this world. Some of
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Pretty Colours

There are a few here that know my Mum is not accepting of my gender identity.  Despite this, it was not until just a few years ago that I found she is (unfortunately) also NOT a fan of gay and lesbian people either.  I guess I should have figured that in light of what she apparently thinks of transgender people.  Now that everyone has some background... lemme share what happened just a few days ago. I took my Mum to an appointment she had last week.  When we got there, we went to the front
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Happy Birthday, Mommy

She would have been 92 today.  I have known so many people who have lost a parent, some both parents.  Some lost a parent at very young ages.  My S/O lost both of her parents before she was graduated from university.  My heart used to ache for her, knowing that even being older than her, I still had both my parents.  I couldn't image what it would be like to lose one parent so young, let alone both! In the early 2000s, suddenly and unexpectedly, my Mum lost her husband of 46 years.  I'

Get Over It!

I was reading the comments under an article that indicated [trans]men were no longer welcome at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival (MichFest) - that is the first time I've ever heard of this. Many are well aware of the fact that [trans]men were welcome at the Fest (though I fail to understand why any guy would wanna go) because, bluntly, we aren't considered men by too many of the women who attend that festival. Pretty much like [trans]women aren't considered women by that same bunch.  

The MichFest Controversy

Now that the great MichFest has seen another year come and gone, it's femi-nazi leader has come forward to make a few demands of her own.   Vogel has repeatedly played word games with people as if everyone is so stupid as to not be able to read between her lines, insisting that she/the festival does not bar transwomen from MichFest, it's just that the MichFest is intended only for "womyn born womyn." Now, unless I really am just as stupid as she thinks many of us are, I fail to see the

It's All Becoming Clear

I have often heard of people who say they can remember little of their childhoods. Usually, the lack of such memories is associated with some sort of adversity. Or, at least that seems to be the case.   I was an army brat. I enjoyed moving around and seeing new places. The draw-back to that is always leaving friends. I used to believe that my brother and I compenstated for that by being each other's best friend. In the past few weeks, new thoughts have come to mind about my childhood.

Media: The Good, The Bad & The Transtitutes

Once again, Thomas Beatie, is in the media. The issue this time is that an Arizona judge refuses to grant the Beatie's a divorce because the judge is not sure if Thomas is a man. Same-sex marriage, is of course, not legal in Arizona. But the Beatie's were married in Hawaii, where he is considered a man, and why they were allowed to marry. It's all a sticky situation.   But here's the kicker...rather than concentrating only on the issue at hand, and the ripple affects this judge's actio

Disparity & Dispassion

My girlfriend, a cisgender woman, has become my champion over the years.  And, though I hate to admit it was even necessary, she has taught me to be more accepting of some things.  Yes [for those of you new to this board], despite being trans, despite being a part of the TGLB community, I have at times in the past expressed a few intolerances.  I'm not perfect by any means...but I believe she's successfully changed (for the better) my view on some things. Anywhoooooo...  quite often she run

Bathrooms

I know this is nothing to laugh about, but I really get a kick out of it. I just hope my luck doesn't ever run out, and some woman (or girl) goes screaming to someone that there's a man in the women's bathroom. Despite the occasional amusement, though, I try to avoid public rest rooms - especially when they are divided by the sexes. The aversion began a few years ago after I retired, when several factors all came into play in a short amount of time.   When I was still working, I didn't

Wednesday Evening Rant

The day didn't start out all that great to begin with... so I guess there was no reason to expect that it would end on a good note.  So why not just vent, get it out of my system, and start fresh tomorrow?  So, after reading this article someone sent me .... I guess it's good that ANY exposure will bode better for us... but are poorly written articles, no matter how well-intentioned, any better than those that sensationalize news and other stories when there just happens to be a transgender
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Terminology & Time

The above posts came from the thread "International Journal of Transgenderism."  I remember when the term "transgender" really got rooted in here at TGG.  Years later, I found out the term was much older, having been coined back in the mid '70's, though if I recall correctly...it was not used as an "umbrella" under which everyone not straight and cisgender would gather.  Instead, it was thought that the general public would be more accepting of a term that didn't include the word "sex," an

Lady Luck & the TSA

I recently created a new thread, a "re-posting," if you will, of a commentary from advocate.com on air travel and being transgender. As usual, when I'm not sure what all has already been posted here, I did a search on the subject first. I knew we had a few threads on the topic...I didn't realize how many, though. And really, I think there are probably more than what I found, and there are probably a few brief discussions in threads that don't even have anything to do with air travel and the TSA.

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