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MonicaPz's Blog

A blog by MonicaPz in General

  • Entries

    37

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    87

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Entries in this blog

Making The Most of Internet Dating

The two most popular "free" dating websites are OkCupid ("OkC") and Plenty of Fish ("PoF"), with feedback from people preferring PoF over OkC because PoF has a higher number of members.  Remember, you are PAYING for the so-called "free" websites by giving them your private information (check their terms of usage) and they accept advertising that usually shows up on sidebars and above and below their content.   Be aware that when you "delete" your profile, often it is not removed.  Be prepared to

Lesbians Getting "Real" - Together . . .

The other article on Lesbian Connection that hit me between the eyes was about relationships.   ""Where are all the 'real' women?"  "I just want someone to be honest and authentic!"  "No one I meet knows how to listen and go deep!"" "We offer dating and relationship classes for women, and it's amazing how often we hear this kind of thing from the Lesbians we work with.  We have some good news, and some bad news.  First - what you find out there is pretty much always a reflection of what you're b

A Supportive Article in the July/August 2015 Lesbian Connection . . .

Today, I came across a moving and beautiful article by a reader of Lesbian Connection . . . "I am 64; I was born female and I have been Lesbian identified since I was 19 (soft butch).  I was active in the Gay Rights and the Women's Rights movements.  It is now 2015, and many things have changed." "I am weary of the ANTI-TRANSWOMEN words I keep reading here, and I'm having a hard time with some of the more caustic comments!  I have not heard anybody say whether or not these women are actually tra

The Importance of Community

As a cisgender Lesbian, the price for immediate interaction, as provided by the Internet, rather than meeting face to face, is a loss of community. It is important to maintain community.  In the age of the Internet (especially social media), cell/smart phones, and other technology, it is becoming more and more difficult. In the Lesbian community, as I am seeing Lesbians approaching gaining their full civil rights, I am seeing less community. Presently, I only see Lesbian Connection and Golden Th

Demisexuality

My Dear Friends, When I learned about demisexuality, (here at TGGuide!), I was really excited because it described me to a 'T'!   Demisexuality, in my opinion, is not about sexual orientation, but about a person's APPROACH to sexuality, no matter what their sexual orientation is. It is "one step up" from asexuality, in that a demisexual is not easily aroused, because it takes time for the demisexual to get to know the person before becoming aroused. A demisexual is defined by a person who is sex

My Response To A Young Gaymale . . .

Friends, Was deeply moved when, while surfing the 'net, I came across a blog from a young Gaymale who wanted to no longer be a Gaymale. We ALL want to, on occasion, to "quit ourselves." NO ONE IS EXEMPT. It is OK to "shut it down," for a limited period of time, "give it a rest," to let our minds clear, to reassess WHAT KIND OF PERSON we want to be. Would have liked to beg him NOT to run away from himself, as that invites guilt and shame into one's life. Even though this blog addr

Two Beautiful, Supportive Letters in Lesbian Connection . . .

Friends, Found two very supportive letters in the May/June 2015 issue of Lesbian Connection, and I will keep the authors anonymous. Slowly but surely, transwomen who identify as Lesbians are making progress . . . "My heart was crushed when I read in Lesbian Connection (LC): 'Currently, persons with Y chromosomes and intact male genitals want to attend, and in misogynist, anti-feminist ways they are attacking the (Michigan Womyn's) Festival . . . ' A misogynist is, by definition, 'a pe

Open And Closed Rejection

Everyone, and I mean everyone, no one is immune, experiences both open (obvious) and closed (not so obvious) rejection in their lives, through all stages of their life, starting in the very earliest years. The reality is not everybody likes and/or loves you, but there will be some who do. The secret is to focus on those who do, and inoculate yourself from those who don't, thus removing their power to hurt you. Examples of open rejection are: Owner of a small restaurant saying they are c

The Body Map

Please allow me to explain what a body map is. Many are familiar with the concept of an amputee having the feeling of where the toes or fingers of their missing limb are, and feeling as if the missing limb is present. When some FTMs stand before the mirror and as they relax, they can see the outline of their male body, such as how tall they are, the thickness of their arms and legs, how broad their chest is, the features of their face and the shape of their privates. They can also tell how

The Differences Between Tomboys, Butch Lesbians And Transmen

Especially early in life, it is difficult to tell tomboys, butch Lesbians and transmen apart. This demands that parents and other caring individuals develop strong observational skills and to learn all they can about parenting. Parents and other caring adults, such as aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles, grandparents, teachers, and coaches help the child build a foundation that will serve the child for the rest of his or her life. The tomboy cycles rapidly between male and female energies

Is A Transwoman The Same as a Cisgender Woman?

There has been an argument in the Lesbian community for decades about whether transwomen are the same as cisgender (born female) women. The argument goes, "the transwoman has not suffered GROWING UP in a misogynist (woman hating) society." My answer is that it takes courage to transition from a man with male privilege to a woman in a misogynist society. So, BOTH are to be commended. In both the cisgender woman and the transwoman, I sense the female energy, that they BOTH had from birth

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