Hi there all
I always stressed about the most insignificant things in the world... My looks? Will I be loved for who I am? Does my life matter at all? Am I making a difference on how people view me and others like me? Can I change the perspective of people who think less of me for not identifying with my given gender on my birth certificate? What does my family think of me? Are my friends just friends to find out if I will fail in life and my dreams? How successful will I be
Good day all
I do miss those days when I could unassumingly just blend into an ocean of faces without even a second glans.
What has changed????
Well that rock on top of me, it's not even a chip anymore. Yes had the burden of not being any person in particular, because showing my feelings or true self would end in my world imploding.
Confidence. Well check the pics in my last few updates. The more relaxed, confident persona I exude now then back
Good evening all
As the title says I'm confused...
The confusion comes in when people try to assimilate being transgender or intersex into a WTF area and make those people feel like they nothing and don't deserve to breath the same air as them.
Well, let me see. I'm intersex identifying as transgender, but more specifically identifying as female and always have. Trying to nullify my existence only gets the dragons fire breathe that much hotter, as I clearly
Let me start off with saying, I know that I haven't been active in a long time, and I might not get to say this...
Merry Christmas to all of you celebrating the festive season. May this bring you everything you thought it would and more.
I had an eventful few months and that is so going to get me disowned if I'm not already disowned... But that is another story for another day, when I probably need to vent.
I got engaged in the last few months and only my niece, also t
Hi there all
I thought that my migraines would be a thing of the past seeing that it is testosterone related, but hey it the first I had in a few months.
The sensation of getting nauseous and disliking the way light makes my eyes and head feel is one thing I dont like. It aggravates me to a degree that I would just want to punch a hole through a wall just to focus the pain on something else.
I know when my estrogen levels are higher with my intake it deminishes. So I will definitel
Operation day was 7 March 2017.
Well, no more Estrogen and no more Testosterone development for me, as no more testicles or ovaries for me.
Which was brought on 11 months prior when I developed, make that discovered growth, got admitted to hospital for chemotherapy which made me so sick that I lost 12kgs (+-26Lbs), and the 7 months ago removing the growths as the original doctor decided to be a hostile transphobic fool, and the younger surgeon with a newer practice was t
Went for my bi annual endocrinology check at the end of January 2017, and all went well.
Then for a urology check up, more like an appointment date for my bilateral orchidectomy on 2 March 2017. And got an appointment date for 7 March 2017, which was yesterday.
I had 4 days to prepare for surgery so went and stocked up on pads (sanitary towels) for the possible bleeding, paid the doctors fees of basically R4000.00 and the requested the bill from the hospital which the doctor
Tuesday came, and it was the last day of January by that. Left work early, and got to the endocrinologist. Marli had her normal checks and we spoke. But what made me zone out was, here is a referral, you need to go for a mammogram. Lucky we already went through the blood works that I took on the previous Friday.
I got to work the next day, as the blood works is showing signs of cholesterol and that my testosterone levels are higher. Normal male ranges but still half of what I started o
Good day all
Okay, don't be all flustered and think that it changed my attitude to the world, it didn't, I'm just pointing out what I did, and somehow I am still getting people following me and hitting on me. What I did I don't actually know. But this is the steps that I took. Maybe it was a form of liberation, but it was definitely a way to say, look at me and be certain that I am human and not going anywhere.
In a recent Facebook entry I made I wrote:
* 36 years old
Good evening all
Yes a retrospective look at what is what...
Why so many transgender or gender non-confirming persons are to denied the passing as the gender they have always known themselves to be is the hardest to understand. It comes with the fact that some families would rather deal with a sibling or child as being heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual, but bring up the transgender or transsexual word and everyone freaks out.
So in retrospect, I was thinking of the time I was tr
Hi there all
So I'm the middle of my leave currently and PMS striked again which is an enemy that is supposed to only strike me the last week of the month. But hey, it decided that it was a good time for me to get punched while the thinking is I am supposed to be down and for the count before of my revelation or make that truth finding. And on the same day, my blooming sinuses are also packing up and not in a mild way but a heavy attack. So yes, first few days I was sick, and called into
Hi there everyone
Know that this have been a while. But I can promise that I have more then enough to tell.
Where to start, is a good question, and like I tell everyone go to the beginning. But in this instance, I will take different headings for different starts. So LONG STORY I THINK...
Well since I last was on I got in a relationship and ended it a few days ago. But here goes the experience.
Well as I never go looking for things like this, I can't say that I was o
Hi everyone, hope you guys have been well with me not here and that some soul who needed it was helped.
Let me see how the story format go and here is the last few weeks with the biopsy and how I was doing for the time till now.
Ooooh, my sister got her car back today, so I should probably have my car serviced
Biopsy Done & Dusted
Feelings While Unknown
I was taken in and first weight, making me feel uncomfortable at the thought that someone else is seei
Good day all
I know that I am sometimes just questioning what is happening, but hey, seeing that I am still a young 36 years old that looks younger apparently then my 18 year old self, then how can I say no to being a questioning fiend.
I went in for the operation on Tuesday and to my perk, I wasn't treated as though I was a weird specimen of human trying to infiltrate an alien race. Operation was done with the highest of professionalism and only afterwards I was asked about being trans
Good evening everyone
Not a big thing, I'm going in on Tuesday for an operation to remove my lump. So far no sign of imminent danger, so relieved to an extent, but will be happier on Tuesday 2016-08-16 when it is removed.
So not all smile, but some sort of smile and a grin after having a bowl of comfort food. Can't beat chocmint ice cream. For once a male doc that wants to learn more.
Here's to queer cheers, hell whatever kind of cheers you want to give works.
Oooh was told by
Something I wanted to post last year, 2015-09-11. Yes September 11th.
Oh and I never got in anything less then shorts. I called this my short untamed hair phase. Just saying, and I hope my voice isn't that bad, but hey, I'm all Michele nothing else or less. And that makes the content of this blog a video recording. So is this a vlog or a blog?
Cheers for now
Lots of hugs
VID_20150911 Nothing but female.3gp
As always non cryptic headings.
This week was endo week and yes the vampires took blood from me twice. Results were good and I didn't fear any of it.
Now last night, not as per usual. But with usual actions led me to self examination. Yes, I've been wiping myself since the beginning of times and felt an irregularity last night. Started feeling myself, not out of being horny or anything, but feeling something I'm not use too. Thought at the beginning that I imagined som
This question is now running through my mind, when does validation turn into the continuous fight for acceptance?
Well, validation comes when you original start accepting yourself and other acknowledges this by using the correct pronoun's for you, and also accepts you for being yourself. Or at least that is how I look at it.
The continuous fight for acceptance happens when resistance is felt by you that others can't accept you, and won't without a fight. Almost when you k
Good day all
I am again in this same situation that I was, but not as bad, just this captain wants everything in writing. Fine by me, and here is the chance again to make everyone around me squirm. Yes, I will be the bitch again.
No it is actually a short thing, just to vent that I need to get everything again, just to be myself.
Seeing my doc on Tuesday, so will be asking again for other documentation to just make the world stop and gasp again.
Not venting just saying, as the
Hi there all
I know that I am attempting to be online at the very least once a week.
This Sunday I have the sensation that I need to talk about the past week. Yes, I know I ventured into it. But the avenues that I haven't entered were a few more than the pooptis I was talking about earlier. But as a recourse I think I need to vocalize and read what I know and what I can do.
First thing first. I was told by my overall commander that I must drag him to court, and this time not just
Got a weird question albeit normal question the other day.
I was asked out of the blue by one of the officers at work, "Will you be capable of answering a question when the new station commander asks you about your dress code? And have you changed it at work?"
The it is, my gender specifics and the dress code for male and female police members are slightly different at work. Answering this officer, I clearly stated that the workplace were informed and some of my medical c
Blessed be to all.
As I start off thinking about myself, I know if I could change anything about myself, it would be:
My gender by protecting myself from having to experience gender specific issues the world have,
Keep my height and weight
Be fit and limber, a perfectionist when it comes to kungfu, tai chi, tae kwan do, and numerous other martial arts formforms
Speak language I stil understand and more, German, Dutch, Italian, French, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Ta
Hi there all.
How do I start this...
I grew up asking questions and I mean this question has been asked even before I was 4 years old.
The question in question is, "What did you let the doctors do to me as a baby?"
Well the answer back then was, circumcision, and distended testicles. And another answer was, circumcision (which I never doubted for a second) and intertwined testicles. Okay the reason I asked as a child was because I felt like I wasn't in the right body, and I cou