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Michele800226's Blog

A blog by Michele800226 in General

  • Entries

    62

  • Comments

    149

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    25,283

About this blog

What popped into my head

Entries in this blog

With or Without Support

Got asked about documentation my mom couldn't find, so I handed her what I stored away in the safe.  After finding the documents, I reiterated that it might be difficult to do what she wants as my gender marker and first name are being changed slightly.  And all I got was, it's your life and your problem when I'm dead.   I've always known my support came from my father, so with the lack of support from the one we call Hammie (what my siblings and I call our mother).  But I also know, that out of

Why Stress Right

Hi there all   I always stressed about the most insignificant things in the world...  My looks?   Will I be loved for who I am?  Does my life matter at all?  Am I making a difference on how people view me and others like me?  Can I change the perspective of people who think less of me for not identifying with my given gender on my birth certificate?  What does my family think of me?  Are my friends just friends to find out if I will fail in life and my dreams?  How successful will I be

Whoop whoop

Hi everyone, hope you guys have been well with me not here and that some soul who needed it was helped.   Let me see how the story format go and here is the last few weeks with the biopsy and how I was doing for the time till now.   Ooooh, my sister got her car back today, so I should probably have my car serviced   Biopsy Done & Dusted   Feelings While Unknown Date: 2016-08-16   I was taken in and first weight, making me feel uncomfortable at the thought that someone else is seeing my weigh

What next

Good day all   I know that I am sometimes just questioning what is happening, but hey, seeing that I am still a young 36 years old that looks younger apparently then my 18 year old self, then how can I say no to being a questioning fiend.   I went in for the operation on Tuesday and to my perk, I wasn't treated as though I was a weird specimen of human trying to infiltrate an alien race.  Operation was done with the highest of professionalism and only afterwards I was asked about being transgend

What is right can never be wrong

Having never been in hiding, I cant say how it feels to have come out to the world. It's in your face obvious that I'm special and unique. And this package is a police official too. So lete go through a decade of trials and tribulations in an organization that is male orientated with almost no ability to change.My decade started off with bam, because not only was I attacked and attempted to convince me that I'm wrong in who I am and portray. Gloating to everyone that she has put me in my pla

What have I done. Does this calm me???

Hi there all   I know I haven't been on in the resent weeks and I am to blame.  Well you'll see what is to blame as I continue this entry....   So, I have been chatting to this guy and thought that he is cool and everything.  Till the awkward part came of him asking me to meet him.  We continued our cheerful banter and I didn't let that phase me.  As luck would have it, I was busy chatting to a girlfriend about my gender and she being understanding and him at the same time.  Yes,  I did the bloo

WE ALL HAVE TO, DON'T WE???

Generally Speaking   No matter if you CIS, Trans, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Queer.  All of us went through the phase of exploration.  Be it to discover your gender or sexuality or which careers we wanted to follow, because you don't look, behave or think like everyone else you talk to.  Sometimes, not even your parents have an answer for you, make that most of the times.  And when you finally got an answer from somewhere, it takes us all different timeframes to accept or initiate the change we so desire

Warned

Hi the all   As most of you all know, I'm a police officer since January 2005, and that I can fight.   Well yesterday, one of my colleagues came to the station, and he is currently working at a unit.  We started talking as normal, and then out of the blue, no I was the only one in blue uniform.  He warned me that I've become a topic at the unit and it isn't clear what the guys intentions are.   He further informed me that they are having issues with me being trans and discussing amongst themselv

Validation or Continuous Fight

Hello all   This question is now running through my mind, when does validation turn into the continuous fight for acceptance?   Well, validation comes when you original start accepting yourself and other acknowledges this by using the correct pronoun's for you, and also accepts you for being yourself.  Or at least that is how I look at it.   The continuous fight for acceptance happens when resistance is felt by you that others can't accept you, and won't without a fight.  Almost when you know yo

Too much, or just enough

Hi there everyone   Know that this have been a while.  But I can promise that I have more then enough to tell.   Where to start, is a good question, and like I tell everyone go to the beginning.  But in this instance, I will take different headings for different starts.  So LONG STORY  I THINK...   DATING Well since I last was on I got in a relationship and ended it a few days ago.  But here goes the experience.   Well as I never go looking for things like this, I can't say that I was on the hun

To Topdeck or Not To Topdeck

Everyone will ask why you asking about chocolates, right.  Actually wrong.   I've never been bound by race or religion, when it came and still comes to men intriguing me.  But I've always had a thing for someone taller and bigger body structured then my 1.74m (5ft8) structure and around 140Lbs.  The top criterion above all else, is he needs to have respect, love and adoration for me.   Okay, I grew up in a time when interracial relationships were a no no, but I am grateful my dad crossed all bou

To smile or not to smile is the question

Hi there everyone   Its not about being optimistic or pessimistic, it about the way my smile and looks are putting me in hot water at times.   I've come to realize that some of my male friends are now also hitting on me, because I've got a perky happy face 90% of the time if not more.  Now they are becoming like horny dogs after my ass too.  Is this a culmination of my smile, facial expression, ass and boobs or just men being like a pack of horny dogs in heat season???   With the unknown factor,

To make-up or not

Hi everyone   Apparently I'm loving these to do or not to do's.  But let's just say, they come after experiences I've gone through.   This week that passed was no different from others.  Seeing that for my last few weeks at work I've been going to the shooting range, with the only difference that I actually got to shoot.  So 1 less day of actually working for me, because I'd normally return to work after a long drive.   Friday, as per usual.  I got up earlier to be at work before 06:00 and get w

There goes another friend

Hi all   Yesterday Monday 2016-06-13 at between 02:45 and 03:00 another police officer friend of mine was gunned down.  I know that some of you will be telling me to look after myself and be safe outside, but then I can think of this to say, if it is my time to die, no matter what I do and where I go, I will die.  So I prefer to face everything head on so I know, I went out the way I lived and believed in, my way.   Yesterday's guy was on police college with me and at the interim police station

Tears I shed

Why tears.  Well I've always been an emotionally strong woman.  Yes, strong as in vocalizing what I think and how I do thigs, as well as not needing a Knight to save me I can save him too...  I'm a fighter after all.   Well in the last month I've been disciplined for not informing my commander about a lone child on street late at night!  I asked if that wasn't part and parcel of my work to serve and protect, and if so.  Give me a written instruction stating I should leave a defenseless five year

Sunday and a time to rest

Hi there all   I know that I am attempting to be online at the very least once a week.   This Sunday I have the sensation that I need to talk about the past week.  Yes, I know I ventured into it.  But the avenues that I haven't entered were a few more than the pooptis I was talking about earlier.  But as a recourse I think I need to vocalize and read what I know and what I can do.   First thing first.  I was told by my overall commander that I must drag him to court, and this time not just deman

Something about leave

Hi there all   So I'm the middle of my leave currently and PMS striked again which is an enemy that is supposed to only strike me the last week of the month.  But hey, it decided that it was a good time for me to get punched while the thinking is I am supposed to be down and for the count before of my revelation or make that truth finding.  And on the same day, my blooming sinuses are also packing up and not in a mild way but a heavy attack.  So yes, first few days I was sick, and called into wo

Some opinions

I know the title will sound like I'm rethinking something, and seeing that this is a Transgender blog, I might be thinking that I am doing the wrong thing.  But no, don't be hassling me to change for you please.  I am perfectly Michele as I am, just need a few minor modifications, make that minor modifications in the form of surgeries.   I'm currently the fleet manager as I said in a previous blog.  This 8-4 thing is killing me as I'm use to the 6-6 thing and after 2 days and 2 nights I would no

Self examination and fear of unknown

Hi all   As always non cryptic headings.     This week was endo week and yes the vampires took blood from me twice.  Results were good and I didn't fear any of it.   Now last night, not as per usual.  But with usual actions led me to self examination.  Yes, I've been wiping myself since the beginning of times and felt an irregularity last night.  Started feeling myself, not out of being horny or anything, but feeling something I'm not use too.  Thought at the beginning that I imagined something

Post Operation Thrills

Good Evening   Operation day was 7 March 2017.   Well, no more Estrogen and no more Testosterone development for me, as no more testicles or ovaries for me.   Which was brought on 11 months prior when I developed, make that discovered growth, got admitted to hospital for chemotherapy which made me so sick that I lost 12kgs (+-26Lbs), and the 7 months ago removing the growths as the original doctor decided to be a hostile transphobic fool, and the younger surgeon with a newer practice was trans-f

Popularity changes

Good day all   Okay, don't be all flustered and think that it changed my attitude to the world, it didn't, I'm just pointing out what I did, and somehow I am still getting people following me and hitting on me.  What I did I don't actually know.  But this is the steps that I took.  Maybe it was a form of liberation, but it was definitely a way to say, look at me and be certain that I am human and not going anywhere.   In a recent Facebook entry I made I wrote:   My bio * 36 years old * police of

PMS once more

Seeing that I have the time on my hands let make this one clear.   For 5 days out of the month, I am on a lower dosage of estrogen, and it kinda makes me cranky as hell.  Reason being is that I have decided to go the medically induced period cycle, and I know it is motha of all hell pain cramps, because I've always had these cramps from my 9th birthday.  Some months it's good and I'm just cranky as hell.  Other months it is so bad, I cramp and start crying from the pain.  But I know it is now in

Ouch, and why now. okay if you give me what i want, fine!

Hi everyone   Let me say this.  Ouch is literally currently happening to me.  I got this sharp pain yesterday in my abdominal region and this morning it extended it's range to my crotch area.  So ouch stand for pain and bleeding, that I think I can handle till later, but will definitely go to the doc tomorrow.  Okay, I'm also guessing that I'm postponing getting medical attention so I can possibly get the results I desire.   What I can say is, don't do what I do, because it can result in a dange

Motivation of a weird form

Because of discussions on how Trans and the general LGBTI community gets treated in by medical staff, police, well government employees, hasn't made me think of this all that much. Because I've always been treated with a certain level of respect and dignity, which I always needed to earn or demand. I'm also a government employee as you all know, so this shocked me when my group had to deal with a M2F that didn't pass. This poor teenaged girl was treated absurdly and persecuted even more so

More then a week into my new post

Okay, on day one I was exhausted and still went to the gym.   This week I managed to go to the gym 3 days with my friend.  One I couldn't go because I had to attend to a work function.   What I noticed on Wednesday was.  Meeting day is a crappy day to be at the station.  I should thank the heavens that I wasn't put in charge of typing the minutes as well.  I hate doing minutes.   I had to sit in some meeting that was super boring.  And another where I call it a crap out parade.  Shame this one C

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