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What popped into my head

Entries in this blog

There goes another friend

Hi all   Yesterday Monday 2016-06-13 at between 02:45 and 03:00 another police officer friend of mine was gunned down.  I know that some of you will be telling me to look after myself and be safe outside, but then I can think of this to say, if it is my time to die, no matter what I do and where I go, I will die.  So I prefer to face everything head on so I know, I went out the way I lived and believed in, my way.   Yesterday's guy was on police college with me and at the interim police station

Michele800226

Michele800226

Warned

Hi the all   As most of you all know, I'm a police officer since January 2005, and that I can fight.   Well yesterday, one of my colleagues came to the station, and he is currently working at a unit.  We started talking as normal, and then out of the blue, no I was the only one in blue uniform.  He warned me that I've become a topic at the unit and it isn't clear what the guys intentions are.   He further informed me that they are having issues with me being trans and discussing amongst themselv

Michele800226

Michele800226

And there I go again

Hi all   Reason I say there I go again, I had to play car fixer again for my sister.  Do you girls and guys realize that a car is heavy to push on your own.  But this time round, I reversed the car into the garage, because there is no way in hell that I am pushing that heavy () car again to have to start.   I hope that my sister doesn't stuck tomorrow with the car as she goes to work.  I don't know where it is draining the battery from and I didn't have enough time to trace the fault as I was wo

Michele800226

Michele800226

Long time coming

Hi there everybody   Can't say that it's been a long time, but I've been busy and attempting to get this done for a while now.   So I recently got my medical aid bill, and low and behold i underwent radiology for the week I was in hospital without me knowing.  I know precisely which drip it was in after thought, but still I like my doctors to be open to me because that is what I do.  If I wasn't open, I would've let them put me with the guys, and never have told the medical staff I was transgend

Michele800226

Michele800226

Let there be??????

Hi there   I'm smiling at the thought of me saying, let there be... First thing that comes to mind is ,"Light". But which light will I be referring too? Light as in truth, or the perfect way forward. But the more I think about it, the answer slips me... What I've come to find is, my week was filled with conversation with either men I personally know or have just met on Facebook. Yes, I sometimes accept request from total strangers. In the hope that not all men are dogs or think a pair of tits ma

Michele800226

Michele800226

Ouch, and why now. okay if you give me what i want, fine!

Hi everyone   Let me say this.  Ouch is literally currently happening to me.  I got this sharp pain yesterday in my abdominal region and this morning it extended it's range to my crotch area.  So ouch stand for pain and bleeding, that I think I can handle till later, but will definitely go to the doc tomorrow.  Okay, I'm also guessing that I'm postponing getting medical attention so I can possibly get the results I desire.   What I can say is, don't do what I do, because it can result in a dange

Michele800226

Michele800226

To make-up or not

Hi everyone   Apparently I'm loving these to do or not to do's.  But let's just say, they come after experiences I've gone through.   This week that passed was no different from others.  Seeing that for my last few weeks at work I've been going to the shooting range, with the only difference that I actually got to shoot.  So 1 less day of actually working for me, because I'd normally return to work after a long drive.   Friday, as per usual.  I got up earlier to be at work before 06:00 and get w

Michele800226

Michele800226

To smile or not to smile is the question

Hi there everyone   Its not about being optimistic or pessimistic, it about the way my smile and looks are putting me in hot water at times.   I've come to realize that some of my male friends are now also hitting on me, because I've got a perky happy face 90% of the time if not more.  Now they are becoming like horny dogs after my ass too.  Is this a culmination of my smile, facial expression, ass and boobs or just men being like a pack of horny dogs in heat season???   With the unknown factor,

Michele800226

Michele800226

How come me???

Hi all   The question always comes up, never mind if you thought you've got control over ever part of your life, there is always something out of sink...  I guess it's natures or life's way of saying that you have a lot to learn girl, just deal with it or parish in your self loathing pity party.   The first one I would like to address is...   Why did I have to be trans and not cis??? Well, I don't know the answer to that, but it's what my heart, head and well every single part of my body dictate

Michele800226

Michele800226

Lasering is a bitch

Hi all   I know, it's all part of the transition.  But does laser hair removal have to sting this much???   Okay, so I did it a few minutes ago.  Stung a bit, but I've found better results if you don't shave beforehand.  It's also not like I have hair popping out like daisies on my face and neck.  It is still like a little blotch I've here and there.  I last shaved on Friday, because of a round trip from Cape Town to Upington (over a1000miles) and back.  Didn't think we wouldn't not sleep for a

Michele800226

Michele800226

Increasing the specialist range

Hi all   Well, yesterday I had an appointment with my GP.  Got there for a routine checkup and mentioned that my right boob is tender too, checked for lumps can't feel anything, but she is now recommending because my boobs are so dense I should go to have them checked out with sonograms.  But yeah they always start about 10 days before my cramps start and that just seems normal to me.  After that she said, welcome to women problems, boobs feeling sore that time of the month and all the bloatedne

Michele800226

Michele800226

Is this freaked out, elation, flabbergasted, working for me???

Hi all.             Not that many days have past since I gave my last update.   Being doing the fitness boot camp as I said, and on Thursday got certificates for attendance.  Wasn't weird that completed it, but then I got the best improved on burpees, lol that was hilarious.  Sat there and thought it was over and here I get called up for another thing.   Well, I had on this confused face and all.  Got up and went in because I somehow without knowing it became a couch as well.  And my surprise is

Michele800226

Michele800226

Months Away, with new challenges

Hi all, haven't been around for a while and yes.  I still hope that everyone is doing well.   One of the most recent things that happened was a dreadful birthday, where I was feeling depressed and violated to the extend that I stayed indoors as I got home the day before and didn't leave my bed except for bathroom breaks and eating obviously, (from the Thursday evening till the Monday around noon.  Didn't even answer any calls, just played games on my tablet and basically slept the whole time.  

Michele800226

Michele800226

Just realized (n Bek Vol)

I never thought of it like this...   Okay, we all probably never thought of it, okay make that the persons who never gave the world a chance to influence and change your gender.  I've always been trapped in a body with a body part belonging to someone else.  And even as a child I would ask everyone, "WHERE DO YOU SEE A BOY, BECAUSE IF YOU TALKING TO ME, I'M NOT LISTENING AS I AM NOT A BOY!!!"   So did I give my parents the chance to grieve the loss of a son they never had, or is my mother just t

Michele800226

Michele800226

Some opinions

I know the title will sound like I'm rethinking something, and seeing that this is a Transgender blog, I might be thinking that I am doing the wrong thing.  But no, don't be hassling me to change for you please.  I am perfectly Michele as I am, just need a few minor modifications, make that minor modifications in the form of surgeries.   I'm currently the fleet manager as I said in a previous blog.  This 8-4 thing is killing me as I'm use to the 6-6 thing and after 2 days and 2 nights I would no

Michele800226

Michele800226

More then a week into my new post

Okay, on day one I was exhausted and still went to the gym.   This week I managed to go to the gym 3 days with my friend.  One I couldn't go because I had to attend to a work function.   What I noticed on Wednesday was.  Meeting day is a crappy day to be at the station.  I should thank the heavens that I wasn't put in charge of typing the minutes as well.  I hate doing minutes.   I had to sit in some meeting that was super boring.  And another where I call it a crap out parade.  Shame this one C

Michele800226

Michele800226

Distance is coming

Last night I was informed that the one I'm dating is going away for a month or more.  I'm not the dependent type of person, but it's giving me the sensation of sadness and that my boo is way too far to touch.  And me vocalizing this feeling made him stress about it too.   What I know for certain is, his family decided on him to go help out at family and the ones that decided aren't aware of our relationship or at least not aware of how I look.  Make that his whole mom's side of the family, as I'

Michele800226

Michele800226

Greater things to come

Hi there all.   I have mentioned that I was applying to an internal post at work, and that it implies that I will by an acting fleet manager.   On the 30 September 2015 I was officially informed that my application for the post was successful.  The amazing part was, that all my competition were butch guys and little feminine old me won the race, and I didn't come second, third or any other number other then number 1.   I started on 7 October 2015 at 07:30 and my first day was a blast.  I enjoyed

Michele800226

Michele800226

PMS once more

Seeing that I have the time on my hands let make this one clear.   For 5 days out of the month, I am on a lower dosage of estrogen, and it kinda makes me cranky as hell.  Reason being is that I have decided to go the medically induced period cycle, and I know it is motha of all hell pain cramps, because I've always had these cramps from my 9th birthday.  Some months it's good and I'm just cranky as hell.  Other months it is so bad, I cramp and start crying from the pain.  But I know it is now in

Michele800226

Michele800226

What have I done. Does this calm me???

Hi there all   I know I haven't been on in the resent weeks and I am to blame.  Well you'll see what is to blame as I continue this entry....   So, I have been chatting to this guy and thought that he is cool and everything.  Till the awkward part came of him asking me to meet him.  We continued our cheerful banter and I didn't let that phase me.  As luck would have it, I was busy chatting to a girlfriend about my gender and she being understanding and him at the same time.  Yes,  I did the bloo

Michele800226

Michele800226

Baby Daddy Blues

Let met get it clear from the start, my friend is pregnant with twins (boy and girl) and Baby Dady is taking up my time again...   Since she and this guy have been dating she didn't tell me it's serious and therefore I never met him.  Then all of a sudden he is a permanent ficture and messing up our talking crap, dinner dates, movies nights, sleep overs, and baby shopping time.   Okay, doesn't men know or realize that girls need to hang and not be bothered at times.  And doesn't he realize they

Michele800226

Michele800226

Acceptance from above

What happened at a course.  Yes, I sometimes do sound like my 2nd language is my 1st, and my mother tongue like I'm a fumbling fool, which is Afrikaans. VID_20150911_142337_3gp.0473bc1a5be6f027f880473e4184319d

Michele800226

Michele800226

To Topdeck or Not To Topdeck

Everyone will ask why you asking about chocolates, right.  Actually wrong.   I've never been bound by race or religion, when it came and still comes to men intriguing me.  But I've always had a thing for someone taller and bigger body structured then my 1.74m (5ft8) structure and around 140Lbs.  The top criterion above all else, is he needs to have respect, love and adoration for me.   Okay, I grew up in a time when interracial relationships were a no no, but I am grateful my dad crossed all bou

Michele800226

Michele800226

Massage gone flustered

Made a date to massage a friend.  Well that was easy as I owed him, and all the latest people I have met, I haven't as yet disclosed to that I'm trans and pre op.   His options were as I gave were: Deep muscle massage; Normal massage; or Uhm massage.   Without him knowing the uhm is a kinky massage, he chose it as a super deep muscle massage where he would moan, and were we moaning.   Got to his place.  He is a little bit shorter then me, and I like him.  Got my hug, and my usual spot was taken

Michele800226

Michele800226

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