A beginning...of sorts

Hi Christie,

It's great to see your new blog; like everyone here, I encourage you to keep writing. It's wonderful to have new members!

I'm also trying to figure out where I'll end up in my transgender journey, and also fairly shy about what I show to the outside world. A month ago when I attended a local (monthly) therapist-led transgender support group I wore a new pair of flats (black) that I'd ordered on Amazon. Woo hoo! They liked them fine, but I chickened out when, after the meeting, several of us went out for dinner. In the car, I changed my shoes.

This Thursday is the next meeting and I intend to wear the flats again, and this time, wear them to dinner too. Also, I have a new rather androgynous long-sleeved top that I'm going to wear. Why not? I am what I am, which happens to be transgender. I'm a nice person and deserve to feel good about myself especially when out with friends.

See you!

Emma

Emma,

Definitely go for it with the shoes! I kind of do that, I wear a lot of women's shoes, but they're running shoes, so it may or may not be obvious (I might also be skewed in terms of knowing what "obvious" is). I get a lot of my shoes at Payless, they have an excellent selection in my size (11).

I think my next challenge is at the gym - I have several pairs of yoga pants, and pink work-out top that I want to wear there. I go very early, so it's minimal exposure, but a start.

xoxo

Christie

Welcome to the forums Christie.

Something that might be of interest when questioning yourself is looking at the chart below and perhaps find some clarity.

Thanks!

I'd like to express some thoughts about the table Karen provided. Indeed, it's helpful in that it shows some of the range and variety of transgender people, as well as an introduction to some vocabulary and other aspects, such as sexuality. However, my impression (subject always to further learning!) is that, for example, it is quite possible that one may find dressing to be erotic and yet still be a transsexual who may or may not transition. This is an important point since some years back it was thought that if one did find dressing to be erotic then they must be a sort of fetishistic crossdresser. That had some logic (however flawed).

So I suggest that the chart be used as a bridge or stepping stone in ones learning but not taken too literally.

I agree, it's helpful but I know it won't resolve everything for me (as much as I love spreadsheets!). A quick reading of it suggests that I'm somewhere between Types III and IV - but a year ago I probably would have said I and II - so the evolution continues!

I find something similar with the various on-line quizzes - none can or should be taken too seriously, but occasionally they'll throw in a question which in itself gives me something to think about.

Oh good, I'm glad you're reading it that way. I brought it to my first meeting with a gender therapist. She was very familiar with it and showed me where it originated in (I think I recall this correctly) Harry Benjamin's very famous and groundbreaking book. She advised that I approach it the way you are.

About the on-line quizzes: they are fun in their way but, really, they are crap! We all would like simple answers but if there was a way to objectively identify one as transgender and/or their placement (as it were) under the TG umbrella I'm sure that we would find it in more professional venues. Indeed, my gender therapist who has over forty years experience with >2000 TG clients doesn't have such a thing! I wish she did, though... :-)

Oops, I meant to include a specific example of a question that gave me something to think about - it was recent, a quiz about Gender Reassignment Surgery - I won't try to quote the question exactly, but the thought process that it prompted for me was basically "if there were absolutely no downsides or difficulties in doing it, would you?" Of course there are downsides and difficulties, but I think it's a good starting point (it really works in many areas of life - "if there was nothing to fear, would you do it?").

But I agree, for me they're mostly just fun - and an occasional diversion from a job that I often hate. Adding to their deficiencies is that I'm pretty good at "putting my thumb on the scale" to get the answer I want (though again, that can be telling in itself).

I do currently see a therapist, and put much more stock in him :-)

I took one of those on-line surveys, too, (do not recall the survey name) where the reader is presented with various situations or what if type questions and given 5 answer choices. It was fun and educational, but took it with a grain of salt.