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coming out - getting ready


Chrissy

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So, I asked a friend (cis-woman) if we could do lunch on Saturday - just said for now there was something I wanted to talk about. I plan to "come out" to her as transgender.

It feels a little anti-climactic, after all she already knows I cross-dress and not for fetish reasons. But, outside of my therapist she will be the first person to whom (yes, i'm trying to keep "whom" alive!) I will have self-identified as trans.

To me I think the big thing, besides actually saying it out loud, is thinking about how to explain what it means in my life. She won't be judgmental at all, she's awesome and totally supportive of pretty much everything, but it is a conversation and I'm sure she'll ask follow-up questions.

Luckily i'm off work tomorrow, so I have time to think :)

On another front, I fully merged my wardrobe tonight - I no longer own "mens" clothes and "womens" clothes, I just own "my" clothes.

Hope all of the Christians out there have a lovely Good Friday, and happy Passover to all Jewish members! And a belated Blessed Ostara to any other Wiccans in the room!

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Hope it goes well for you Christie. Merging wardrobes is a definite step forward, I wonder how long it'll be before you just junk your male clothes? Most "girls" that I know didn't hang about with a merged wardrobe for more that 3-4 months, so I suspect you're well & truly on an exciting part of your journey. Good Luck.

Cheers,

Eve

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Dear Christie,

It sounds to me like you made the ideal choice of the first person to come out to. And also you are doing the right thing by preparing. By considering what comments and questions she may bring up and your responses you will hopefully reduce some of your anxiety. She's friendly so if she asks something that you're not ready for give yourself a moment, take a breath, a sip of water, and see if the answer comes to you. If not it's perfectly okay to say "Great question, thanks! I'm going to have to think about that one and get back to you on it!"

Have fun with her. I'm sure you're going to be great.

Emma

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I've come out to my wife, my mom, my sister and a few friends. Everyone has been extremely supportive. But after the initial shock, I have gotten a lot of questions. Some are really hard to answer, because it's hard to explain a feeling or an inherent need that is totally foreign to someone else. Anyways, after the initial meeting, don't be surprised if you get a lot of questions that you cannot answer or are not prepared to answer. But that's okay. Just take it in stride.

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Lisa,

Thank you for the feedback! With this particular friend I expected it to go fairly easily, and it did. We have a long history of being very open and supportive of each other.

Fortunately I have several friends in that category, it's if and when I get to family that things might get trickier. Both of my parents passed away, so it's mainly my brother and sister, neither of whom is terribly enlightened. i'm sure i'll go much further on my own journey before I discuss it with them.

Xoxo

Christie

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Thank you everyone for the comments! It did go very well on Saturday, in fact we probably only talked about it a few minutes since it really didn't come as a surprise to her (we talked longer about "Star Trek," having not previously known of each other's love of the franchise).

The more interesting part of the conversation to me ended up being about dating. I haven't dated anyone in quite awhile, but feel more motivated and more confident to pursue that area of my life now that I'm starting to be more honest with myself about who I am. Since I was trying to be something else, obviously the people I tried to date weren't really right for me - hopefully now I can do a better job of it :)

Eve, I agree with your prediction about my wardrobe - the only things I've purchased recently are women's clothing, the only thing that currently keeps me from scrapping everything else is money. But I'll be replacing everything over time!

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