Life is full of surprises. I have always considered myself a fairly self aware person, but I've been surprising myself lately.

About three months ago, I told my wife that I thought that I would need to transition. Well, about two weeks ago at my appointment with my therapist, I reminded her of something that I had said at my very first appointment back in November which was wanting to develop new ways to cope with being trans but not having to transition. I was in "crisis" mode at the time, not sure what to do. I was unable to cope with being male, yet was hoping that I could develop other ways to cope. At this last appointment, I started to realize that I have been coping with this for 38 years. I've tried everything to cope and did very successfully for a number of years. But now that is not working.

Later that weekend, I read, "True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism". About 99% of it applied to me. It spoke to me in ways that helped me understand that I am fighting something that is who I am. So, here is the interesting thing. After I read that book, a flood of memories came back to me, about experiences I had repressed or long ago buried. This caused a flood of emotions over the last two weeks, making it even more difficult to cope. I noticed that dressing no longer helps. I need to transition to living as a female.

That weekend, I told my mom and she had a lot of questions and concerns, but she supported me. I told my wife that I needed to get on hormones and start laser / electrolysis. She, understandably, is very upset. Not just by the transition and the change to me and our lives, but she knows that I've been struggling with this and that I've been doing everything that I can do and she is really worried about me.

I made appointments to obtain hormones and laser. I had my first laser appointment on April 2 and a follow up appointment on the 23rd. My appointment to obtain hormones is on April 7th at Whitman-Walker. We will see how that goes. Another transwoman I know recommended them and she was able to get in and get on HRT quickly.

I started letting my hair grow out, because I thought this would happen. We will see how that goes. I will need to take finasteride as well because my hair is thin on top.

Anyways, it looks as though I am beginning a new journey. I will try to post more frequently with updates.

I hope that everyone has had a good week and a Good Friday. Thank you for your feedback and continued support.

Love and Blessings,

--Lisa