Hi all,

After a very affirmative weekend I'm feeling a little "overcast." It's certainly fueled in part by other things going on in my life (i'm sure I mentioned in another entry that I have a job that I often hate), but it's drifting over here.

I know there are some people on here who are around my age (i'm 48, 49 in july), so i'm hoping somebody might have some words of encouragement if they'very felt this way.

I'very been thinking back about my childhood a lot recently, thinking about early indicators of being transgender, and while it's been useful in that sense, I also can't help but wonder who I could have been - and who I never will be - because I couldn't be free to be myself back then.

I know that living with regret is useless, but sometimes I feel completely powerless against it.

I hope that when this passes (and I do know that it will), I can channel the feeling sonehow, maybe do something to help the next generation more so that they can live the fullest lives that they can. But for now I just wonder why I couldn't.

That's all I have on this for now - thank you for listening

Xoxo

Christie