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New Name...


Chrissy

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Good afternoon everyone!

I mentioned in a post last week that I had started using Christie at work, in addition to everywhere else in my life.  This week, with the approval of the Dean and Associate Dean, I asked our IT Dept. to change my email address, which they did without question and quite quickly (within an hour of my request - and they NEVER do anything that fast).

An email is being put together to send to the students I work directly with, and then another for the full school which won't mention me directly.  But all of them are becoming rapidly moot as people see my name on the email address - a number of students have already started calling me Christie in email to me.  I was getting a little anxious and hoping that they would finalize the emails quickly, but now I'm just accepting that word is spreading anyway, so the email can go when it goes.

More important though is an email I rec'd from an outsider who was directed to me by one of our faculty members - I could see in the earlier emails between them that our faculty member referred to me as "she," and so when that person wrote to me I realized she is the first person to communicate with me who never knew me other than as Christie :rolleyes:

xoxo


Christie

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Well Christie the genies out of the bottle now girl ! & I've never known a genie willingly go back into the bottle either.............. :lol:

Enough metaphors, congratulations madam, miss, ms?

Eve x

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I'm an old-fashioned feminist, so I'd go with "Ms"  :rolleyes:  (I also accept the French mademoiselle - "Mlle")

This was also a good reminder about taking my time.  I still forget how much anxiety can accompany a step, especially a fairly big step.  In those moments it's best to just live with that step for a bit and not push too much.

Having said that, on Sunday my favorite drag queen is doing a special brunch show, so I've decided to use that as an opportunity to see how effectively I can present as a woman (I'm trying to resist the term "passable" now, and instead focus just on presenting as a woman).  I was making myself very nervous about that concept in part because I was thinking about it in terms of doing it at work, then I realized that I don't have to start it at work (and my therapist said that she would actually strongly advise against starting it at work!).  So I'll try that on Sunday - what it means right now is using my smaller breast pads (the larger ones are too "drag"), butt pads, and some additional make-up (including foundation to cover any shadow).

I have to go into it understanding that it might not be 100% convincing, but that's ok, it's a step.  As my friend said when I was getting ready to do my solo show, "you have to willing to out and risk being stupid" (or words to that effect).

Edited by ChristieG
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Excusez-moi Madamoiselle,

I thought that you were already presenting as female at work and out and about?

Yes you have to just go for it ,no matter what may result, and hope for the best, but I doubt you'll be stupid. Keep it toned down, don't go over the top, remember you don't want to attract lots of attention. Think in terms of those women who do not get looked at twice.....................

Cheers, 

Eve 

 

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I'm definitely presenting more female, but I think my current look might register as a woman at first glance, but up close you'd know that I'm a female-looking male as opposed to looking like an actual woman

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Dear Christie and Eve,

There are two groups of women who get "looked at twice," and they are women who are gorgeous (the men and butches are making a fool of themselves rubbernecking!) and those that look "different," due to disability or having an unusual body, such as being a woman of size or having a disfigurement (they have to compensate by having a gracious and forgiving personality).

The women that are "in the middle of the road," or seen as, "attractive," (a polite term for not being ugly but also are not beautiful), are the ones that do not draw a second glance. Some women want to be "invisible," and let their talent speak for them, and others like to celebrate their beauty and/or physical uniqueness.  

Personally, I think transwomen should strive to be the "middle of the road" woman FIRST, as women, in general, feel most comfortable with this kind of woman, and learning directly from cisgender women is most paramount, especially at the beginning.

Your friend,

Monica

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