Well Christie the genies out of the bottle now girl ! & I've never known a genie willingly go back into the bottle either.............. 

Enough metaphors, congratulations madam, miss, ms?

Eve x

That is so wonderful that everything is rolling along smoothly, may the rest of your journey be so smooth  

I'm an old-fashioned feminist, so I'd go with "Ms"    (I also accept the French mademoiselle - "Mlle")

This was also a good reminder about taking my time.  I still forget how much anxiety can accompany a step, especially a fairly big step.  In those moments it's best to just live with that step for a bit and not push too much.

Having said that, on Sunday my favorite drag queen is doing a special brunch show, so I've decided to use that as an opportunity to see how effectively I can present as a woman (I'm trying to resist the term "passable" now, and instead focus just on presenting as a woman).  I was making myself very nervous about that concept in part because I was thinking about it in terms of doing it at work, then I realized that I don't have to start it at work (and my therapist said that she would actually strongly advise against starting it at work!).  So I'll try that on Sunday - what it means right now is using my smaller breast pads (the larger ones are too "drag"), butt pads, and some additional make-up (including foundation to cover any shadow).

I have to go into it understanding that it might not be 100% convincing, but that's ok, it's a step.  As my friend said when I was getting ready to do my solo show, "you have to willing to out and risk being stupid" (or words to that effect).

Excusez-moi Madamoiselle,

I thought that you were already presenting as female at work and out and about?

Yes you have to just go for it ,no matter what may result, and hope for the best, but I doubt you'll be stupid. Keep it toned down, don't go over the top, remember you don't want to attract lots of attention. Think in terms of those women who do not get looked at twice.....................

Cheers, 

Eve 

I'm definitely presenting more female, but I think my current look might register as a woman at first glance, but up close you'd know that I'm a female-looking male as opposed to looking like an actual woman

Dear Christie and Eve,

There are two groups of women who get "looked at twice," and they are women who are gorgeous (the men and butches are making a fool of themselves rubbernecking!) and those that look "different," due to disability or having an unusual body, such as being a woman of size or having a disfigurement (they have to compensate by having a gracious and forgiving personality).

The women that are "in the middle of the road," or seen as, "attractive," (a polite term for not being ugly but also are not beautiful), are the ones that do not draw a second glance. Some women want to be "invisible," and let their talent speak for them, and others like to celebrate their beauty and/or physical uniqueness.  

Personally, I think transwomen should strive to be the "middle of the road" woman FIRST, as women, in general, feel most comfortable with this kind of woman, and learning directly from cisgender women is most paramount, especially at the beginning.

Your friend,

Monica