Karen,

Understand your fear of being bullied, as I have been there.  But to be armed to the hilt . . . makes it too easy to answer words with a bullet . . . that you can't call back.

A lot of adult bullying occurs in the recreation rooms of senior apartment complexes.  Thankfully, we have finally gotten an assistant social worker that attends ALL gatherings there, and puts a stop to it before it starts.

Also find a lot of senior on senior and adult bullying at bus stops, on the bus, subway platforms and subways, due to the lack of policing.  In this case, if I am a witness or a victim, I get off at the next stop and start calling the authorities.  If there is a physical altercation, I call the police.

Have lived in big cities and small towns, and find it is worse in small towns, especially if they are deteriorating, because people who live in deteriorating small towns/neighborhoods feel the "newcomers" (usually from the big cities) are "destroying" their small town, which is really deteriorating because of neglect.  

Despite the advances in TLGBT rights, for every advance, there is a backlash.  Feel my recent experience on the bus (from a former neighbor) is because of the passage of the law for TLGBTs right to marry on the federal level.  She was upset that people of color and a Lesbian moved into "her" neighborhood.  That is the problem when you buy property . . . neighborhoods change whether you like it or not, and our society is become more transitory than ever, making it more likely there will be significant change earlier than later.  

Karen, have you thought about law enforcement?  Wish you were there is these situations!

Have you considered teaching a class about empty-hand self-defense from bullies?

Your friend,

Monica

Monica, thanks for your insight. In regards to law enforcement, I have been working with law enforcement for a long time, have done executive protection and have and still teach empty hand techniques that apply to various types of attacks. You are correct about not calling a bullet back which is why I also had other weapons, firearms were only one of them. I did this from 2001 until 2013 for company security and executive protection. I could easily write a blog entry on this stuff but refrain from it as it would be very disturbing to many here as it entails shooting and such. I have been trained by elite entities over the years where many are only open to military and law enforcement.

If there is a decent size group that commits to one of my classes anyplace in the United States I will come to them for one or two days.  

Dear Karen,

Some in the Lesbian community and here at TGGuide have shared with me that I need to move to a more cosmopolitan area.

Am taking two courses in "Conscious Girlfriend," to gain more insight into myself.

For some reason, the incident on the bus is "sticking to me," and I can't seem to shake it off.  Have talked to several people and can't find closure.

Like where I live for PHYSICAL reasons but somehow my spirit is dying.  Don't know how to say that politely.  Think small towns are oppressive.  

Your friend,

Monica

It's sad that people that bullied you have lead you to your spirit dying, nobody should have to take this and have to consider moving as an option. One thing I do know is if they see it hurts you they will continue which is even worst that they must continue with their crap.

Karen,

What saddens me is that this discourages my inviting any of my TLGB friends here.  Also, when I am dating, I can't give a "positive spin" on where I live, as I would not invite a dog here.

Have to retract my offer for you (and everybody else!) to visit, because of the obvious.  It seems to get better in my building and in downtown Beacon, and get worse in Wappingers Falls.  Thank God I no longer live there.  The dormitory has been closed and, God forbid, the landlord rented the dormitory quarters to ANOTHER Mexican family!  LOL!  Not enough for the landlord to bring queers into town!  LOL!!

Public transit outside of major cities is seen as "for losers."  Many passengers are angry because their license was suspended (probably this lady's problem), "DUI Bicycle Club members," and the disabled.  Public transit passengers are seen as "second class citizens."  

This is THEIR problem, and they are welcome to take their lousy attitudes, walk PAST my bus stop,  and wait at another bus stop. 

Unfortunately, I am seen as a second class person in the dating scene because I am in public housing (although very high quality . . . you can't tell it is public housing by looking at it), low income (I have always paid my own bills) and disabled.  Am discouraged because I feel I can't bring much "to the table" except that I am a kind and supportive person, which is of little value in today's society.  This is why if I stay, I hope to find a long distance relationship (I would get together with her physically every three or four months, but maintain contact every day or couple of days).  

Monica

Out here in Oregon there are incentives for people to use public transportation and many of my friends use it and can afford to drive. We do have those whom you indicated also so everyone is in a mixed barrel and yes we have those bike riders too but only can tell by what they wear and gear as biking is huge out here.