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Keeping the vagina as it should be


KarenPayne

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I have written multiple times about dilation in regards to lots of lube and yes, pain. Recently, five months after reassignment surgery I am down to a drop of lube the size of a quarter and finding intimate encounters are much better than dilation. When one has intercourse for at least 15 minutes this counts to one session of dilation. I am 90 percent into females and the remainder into couples. I became friends with a couple that had nothing to do with sex but after time did and do enjoy a threesome.

The upside to using less lube is

  • Takes less time to dilate
  • Much less time to clean up
  • Feels good to push a dilator inside seamlessly.
  • For me, I have an excess of lube.

So for those taking this journey I want you to know it does get better even though the first month or so you will want to quit which does you no good as things will close up and be left with no opening.

Another thing I have noticed is there is more moisture and natural lubrication especially when aroused. I am still waiting for the ability to have a complete orgasm where at this point it's fairly intense and last a long time but feel it's not fully there yet and have heard from others it take between eight and twelve months.

 

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Thanks Karen this helps me to get the "ducks in line before shooting them", sometime in the future. Sexuality? I must confess that I'm becoming confused with the passing of time, in so much that, seemingly to me, my preferences are not so black and white as they used to be. I don't think that this anything that I either regret or applaud, it's just something that seems to be happening, I doubt that I'll ever do anything positive about it either, least not whilst I remain happily married.

Cheers,

Eve

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Karen,

I strongly second Veronica's comments, I had been trying (subconciously) to compartmentalize my gender and sexuality "issues."  Part of my thinking (when it popped up into the conscious) was that I didn't want sexuality to impact my decision-making in terms of proceeding on this journey.  But of course it is relevant whether I choose to actively think about it or not!  I think now that I'm in a much more comfortable place in terms of transitioning it's easier to let it go.

What's also interesting is the sense that my sexual orientation is (possibly, probably?) shifting.  Previously I considered myself a "gay male" with some slight bisexual interests.  As I move along in this transition I can see the possibility of being completely bisexual.  One hypothesis (I won't misuse "theory" like the religious right likes to do with it's creationist "theory") is that as I see myself more and more as a woman it's easier to imagine being in a relationship with another woman, someone I can better relate to.  That's speculation though :-)   At this moment the idea of dating and/or sex is barely, if at all, on my radar.

Thank you again for another informative post!

xoxo

Christie

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I meant to add that your choice in subject line was wonderful, I couldn't pass up an entry titled "keeping the vagina as it should be"  :rolleyes:

​I always write with zero preparation ahead of time when writing entries, they just flow out at the very minute I have an idea but always attempt to write a title that will attract attention to entice people to read what I have written. My goal always is to pass on what I think might benefit others, nothing more, nothing less. I am sure at some point I will have little to say (oh, my I have 150+ entries so far) and hope that others hear will be vocal and share their wisdom as each of us will tell different tales and there will be intersecting point which again help others who follow us.

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Dear Friends,

First, I beg everyone to play safely.

Secondly, as a cisgender woman who is a Lesbian, please be aware that everyone's sex drive differs, and can change at different points in their lives.  When I was in junior high school/middle school as well as high school and even college, I could orgasm just by fantasizing, without even touching myself.  I was practically jumping out of my skin!  Noticed after I had a radical hysterectomy, that my sexual drive is next to zero, even though I am a romantic woman.  Interesting, even though I was involved with my beloved AFTER my radical hysterectomy, I could orgasm just by kissing her, before even having sex with her!  When I start getting serious with someone, before I even touch them, I share about my present sex drive, so that there would be no misunderstandings.

Yours,

Monica

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I meant to add that your choice in subject line was wonderful, I couldn't pass up an entry titled "keeping the vagina as it should be"  :rolleyes:

​I always write with zero preparation ahead of time when writing entries, they just flow out at the very minute I have an idea but always attempt to write a title that will attract attention to entice people to read what I have written. My goal always is to pass on what I think might benefit others, nothing more, nothing less. I am sure at some point I will have little to say (oh, my I have 150+ entries so far) and hope that others hear will be vocal and share their wisdom as each of us will tell different tales and there will be intersecting point which again help others who follow us.

​I suspect you still have much to offer :rolleyes:  At least I hope so!  One of the great treasures of this website is being able to read about people who are at all different points in transitioning

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