Eve, I consider good manners a "social lubricant," that helps others get along.  Some cultures encourage good manners more than others. Sure do hope foreign embassies educate and encourage their employees in this, along with the specifics of what foreign cultures consider "good manners"!

Monica, but it's not just good manners, more than that it's courtesy too, Embassies are only extensions of foreign governments and relay their own countries foreign policies to host nations. What is much more important is the Forieign Departments of Governments that create policies that might not be helpful to others....................

Eve,

On your question about transitioning and helping others understand there are of course multiple variations.  When it's family and friends I think one of the more important things is giving them time, but without hindering your own transition in the process.  For me that's mainly about my sister, who responded the most negatively (actually she's been the only direct negative reaction I've had).  But I know it took me time to get used to it, so i give her time.

The more troubling angle is the far-too-many people who I read in the comments section of most of the transgender rights op-ed pieces I've been reading in the NY Times recently.  To so many of them I just think "haters gotta hate."  I had gotten into the bad habit of responding (usually angrily) to some of them, but I've learned instead to simply add my own comment and try to reasonably address what I see.  Just today I commented that several people suggested that we (trans* people) were making "demands" and forcing them to "adjust their actions" (this was all in an op-ed piece about rest rooms).  I simply asked in response "what demands exactly?"  In doing this I'm not trying to change the minds of the "haters," but rather hope to reach those in between, who aren't yet allies but aren't as narrow-minded about the subject.  Perhaps they'll then notice that the only "demand" we're making is to be able to use the appropriate rest room in peace (what nerve we have!!!)

I agree with your thoughts - it would be nice for people to realize that their individual interests are also (often) served by contributing to the general interests.

xoxo

Christie

Christie,

Thanks for your comment.

I have two brothers, one accepts me for who I am, the other and his wife don't accept me I have spoken to him only twice in the last 3 years and not at all to his wife. But I can't say that this really bothers me much, I'm doing my thing and they're doing theirs, it doesn't impact on me, and as far as I can tell doesn't impact on them. 

Making demands / Adjusting their actions; do they not see that they are persuing their own interests / demands to the detriment of others? How does a M to F trans person affect them detrimentally by your using the female rest room? (I presume this term means toilets?) I'm not sure about the US version of toilets, but I strongly suspect that they are no different than in the UK, (Newark airport are the same as here anyway) women do not parade around outside the cubicles with their knickers down, possibly due to anatomical differences causing urinals to be absent from female toilets!

Cheers,

Eve

Eve,

I also recently contacted my brother to let him know (admittedly via email).  I don't anticipate his reaction being very supportive, but with him and my sister I'm not that concerned, we haven't been close in a number of years.

And yes, "rest room" means "toilets"  :-)   And you're correct, women here don't tend to do that (I guess I can't speak on that with authority just yet, but it seems unlikely).

Christie