Made a date to massage a friend.  Well that was easy as I owed him, and all the latest people I have met, I haven't as yet disclosed to that I'm trans and pre op.

His options were as I gave were:

Deep muscle massage;

Normal massage; or

Uhm massage.

Without him knowing the uhm is a kinky massage, he chose it as a super deep muscle massage where he would moan, and were we moaning.

Got to his place.  He is a little bit shorter then me, and I like him.  Got my hug, and my usual spot was taken by work waiting to be reviewed by him.  So I sat next to him.  My hair ended up a mess as I rested my head on his stomach.  Got a sort of strip dance and I liked the none muscular body he has.  He is a runner.  I mentioned that we should probably proceed with the massage, and up the stairs to the best spot, his bedroom.

Here is where it gets interesting.

I gave him a deep muscle massage with me fully clothed and him covered with underwear only...  I got him to moan and his uhm, umtondos (Xhosa word for penis) show'd signs of enjoyment.  I just continued with the massage, until I was grabbed and kissed.  Knees were weakened and my resistance were failing after my top and bra were removed.  He voiced concerns of me being oiled in the process.

Now somewhere in between the massage and making out I didn't want him to stop, but I couldn't work out even how to allow my brain and mouth to have the discussion, making me flustered as hell and I was later informed possibly intimidated by a friend whom knows both of us for over a decade each.  But the two of us only met in the year and we never had this discussion, just had wonderful conversations.  With me struggling to talk about my gender, a first for me.  I couldn't stop the make out session, not that I wanted it to stop or his hands all over my body, we had to remind us that he needs to sleep and me in his bed, will cause both of us not to sleep.  Why did I start something I don't want to stop?

And I end off with a question posed to my friend.  How the hell do I have this discussion, about the metamorphosis of my body, seeing that I'm still in the cocoon?  All I know is, this will have to be discussed as I might have entangled myself in his snare.  And he is a yummy snare I can see myself involved with.