Update

It has been awhile since I last posted. I ended up having more issues with anxiety and depression in Oct and Nov. Though, I feel like I am finally coming out of it.

Work was really stressful the last couple of months, which did not make things any better. My productivity over the last month has been great and everyone is pleased, but the environment I work in is difficult at best.

On a positive note, I posted some updated photos of me. I've lost a considerable amount of weight and am filling in nicely. I lost 45 lbs over the last 5 months and am down to 160 lbs, which is what I used to weigh 2+ years ago. I basically stopped drinking alcohol and cut back a bit on consumption. Also, no sweets and junk food. I also have been getting to bed early (around 8 or 9pm) and getting plenty of sleep. I feel so much better. I have sleep apnea and I am sleeping better because I lost the weight. The best part is that those pictures are all me. No shapewear and padding, except for a padded bra.

Up until about 3 or 4 weeks ago, my wife hated seeing me dressed. Didn't want to be around it etc. But now, I am presenting much better and she thinks I look great and is happy for me. She wants to buy me female stuff and shop for me. In some ways, it bothers me. Transwomen feel an intense pressure to meet some sort of standard that society puts on us. Gender is viewed as binary. And hate feeling like I have to look a certain way to fit in. But unfortunately, that is the reality of our lives. Women are judged by how they look, particularly by other women. But I am glad that my wife now feels better about this. She and I are still not intimate, have not been for a couple of years nor do I expect her to be. But after her struggling with this new version of me for three years, it is good to see she is more positive about this.

Looking ahead, I will be speaking to my children soon. As well as work. I know exactly what I will say.

I hope that everyone has had a good week.

Love,

--Lisa