Now I'm clam and zen, because NIkki is dealing with some really hard deep inside personal issues iwth his therapist, and he needs me to be okay right now.  So I have since righted myself and gone back to practical one thing at a time mode.  It helps that I see the exit from Hell Job now that they have hired and are training my supervisor's replacement.  So she won't be there to guilt me into staying longer.  Relatives have that power sometimes, especially since you still want someone to come to Christmas dinner.  Summer starting is helping me relax and just do what needs done so that I'm calm and together for Nikki. 

I would take it all away from him and live with it myself if i had to so he didn't have to deal with anything but the fun stuff, but I can't.