Ren,

Veronica says it all, so well, and I'm not at all sure I can add more but I'll try. First, I'm sorry to hear you're in such anguish. It's horrible to feel that way, I really know, first hand. And, when we experience that pain it's so hard to even move, let alone dream that someone cares, or that we'll ever be out of that pain.

Obviously I don't know you're situation in detail but I do recall your boyfriend, your sister, and probably others, do truly care for you. We do here as well. So keep talking, writing, and pounding your keyboard.

But it is important to move forward even the tiniest fraction every day. Progress, no matter how small, begets progress. It feeds on itself and feeds our soul. I can't tell you what to do and there may not be a clear path that has certain success. All too often I see people struggle when they can't be certain that a course of action will produce results, or provide those results quickly. So they stay stuck. 

But the fact is that we can't predict the future. And we can't know the options and paths that will open up to us as we move forward. That's the adventure, my friend. It's like exploring a forest or a new territory. You march through the trees, turn, and a beautiful meadow appears. But then, you see a bear in the distance and turn in an alternative path. On and on.

I know you can do it. You're strong, forthright, and brave. 

Love,

Emma