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Questions anyone?

Cyrsti

Entry posted by Cyrsti

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On occasion, I do become tired of people asking me why I dress the way I do. It's getting to the point where I can predict when it's going to happen.

Recently, I've gone through a period of no recognition of my gender and no questions. I felt it had to end and tonight it did.

I wasn't over dressed as I made my way through the evening with jeans, flip flops and a bunch of curly red hair.

All in all, a very uneventful evening until the young blond in knee socks, short flippy skirt and tank top showed up. All legs and hair.

I was watching my MLB team and the bar's version of "American Idol" was going on in a side room.

After a while she came up and sat down beside me and started some innocent chat. Before long she said "what's your story"I knew where she was going and I bounced the line back to her. "Are you one of the performers?"( An obvious reference to her outfit.) It turns out she works for a "pub" concept in the area and she was wearing her uniform. Which by the way she quickly apologized for!

Inwardly flattered that she was talking to me, I finally came up with a couple lines to answer her question.

I simply told her that I am a very harmless creature..but very exotic. Please be careful of the pronouns you use with me. I'm not your "he" and I'm not your "she" refer to me by my name.

What you see could be false but what you hear from me probably isn't.

Her questions were answered but not her curiosity.

I received an invite to her pub and left with the satisfaction of knowing I had finally verbalized what I felt all these years.

The only question I didn't have an answer to was "where can I get one of those skirts!'

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4 Comments

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amie

Your story brings to mind a very good communication skill. That is called listening. It seems you are well on your way to discovering this, but this is a good time to mention it. Most people do like to talk about themselves. Sometimes when we are approached a person really wants to share their story. They are polite in asking how we are, but often, deep down they want to talk about themselves. If you can get past the initial awkwardness of being approached and can get the other person talking, it could be a great way of getting to know more people on a deeper level. Most people will enjoy the company of someone who is a good listener and empathetic. When you have given them such undivided attention how can they not like you somewhat better than the other people who were too busy to listen.

When I read your story I was thinking when you said you "knew where she was going with her question" it is good to be careful not to assume this. I have been surprised numerous times, when I thought someone was referring to one thing with me when they were just making conversation. There certainly is variance in how different people communicate. It's a good habit to clarify a question if you are unsure what the person asking. Not everyone is out to figure us out. This is just a little food for thought. It sounds like you were successful in diverting any question that you did not want to answer.

Amie

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stephani

The tounge is quick , the mind is slow and the ears hear what they will .... Keep in mind that others speak but do you hear what they are saying , or are you thinking they said what you thought ....

LOL

steph

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Cyrsti

Indeed. My experience in female communication (verbal and non) have done wonders I have opened my senses to hearing and reacting on a totally different level with both genders. Could be a great communication tool! If someone had the guts to write it.

I'm sure I'm one of ten million who thought of it.

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