I had a REALLY uncomfortable conversation with a friend of mine today who was worried that a third friend had offended me with a sort of inappropriate outburst of hate against Clinton in the middle of game raid night.  And I admitted it had made me really uncomfortable, but...not on the political front.  And then the conversation got way personal, and I realized that what scares me most isn't Trump himself and his crazy, dangerous things that he spouts. There is always that one person yelling crazy stuff.   Always. 

What really is stirring up the things inside is...the things normal people are saying all over comment sections in places I go and conversations.  There is a video with trump saying how great it is to be a star from 2005, because you can just walk up to women and 'kiss them or grab them by their *vulgar word for crotch here*').  He admitted to sexual assault.  And a large group of predatory type personalities are ranting at ME (abuse survivor, thanks) that I'M not understanding that it's not wrong.  That I'm the stupid one because saying he enjoys just walking up to women he likes and doing those things isn't rape, so it's okay.  WTH???????????  So if this man makes it into the presidency, what does the day to day world look for vulnerable people?  The president says it's okay to kiss and grab the crotch of someone you like, so shut up and take it if I want to target you?  I"m not even pretty or have a nice body and I've still had to deal with unwanted advances and sexual attentions and the rage that I had to nerve to say stop I don't want this and wasn't grateful that they wanted to use me.  What would the world look like for the really pretty woman that lots of men want to just grab and grope?  How much worse is it for them on a daily basis would it be with this sort of condonement in authority? 

I can rationally connect to how immigrants of all minorities have to be feeling, but I can't emotionally say I know because I haven't lived that life. But if they feel as scared as I am, that is a lot of people.  Women are half the population by ourselfs.  Let's say minority men are another 20% to be conservative.  That makes 70% of the population it's suddenly open season on? 
Politics used to be about laws and where the line was between individual freedom and group wants/needs.  But this time it feels more like it's about what is going to happen in the streets.  Or is already out there but was hidden, and now is under a shiny huge spotlight.  It's like everyone is just losing their minds about basic human rights all around me.  People used to laugh at me when I said I try to treat everyone well, because you can't divide people up and say it's okay to be good to one group and bad to the other, eventually like that no one is safe.  They said I didn't understand.  But look what is happening.  None of this is really about Trump or Clinton, the fights between people on the net are about basic decency and horror.  And it's really scary.

Why is my culture so inherently unable to understand that human beings are all human beings?  You can not like whoever you want, but no one has the right to harm others.  And using figureheads to justify committing horrors doesn't really justify anything, we still know a horror was committed.  It's like russian roullette in America of who should feel unsafe today.