Hi there all

So I'm the middle of my leave currently and PMS striked again which is an enemy that is supposed to only strike me the last week of the month.  But hey, it decided that it was a good time for me to get punched while the thinking is I am supposed to be down and for the count before of my revelation or make that truth finding.  And on the same day, my blooming sinuses are also packing up and not in a mild way but a heavy attack.  So yes, first few days I was sick, and called into work for 5 days as my sub-component was in trouble for something we couldn't sort out while I was there, but there is time until the 21st to complete, when I am still on leave and I said they should just tell me when everything is right and I will sort it out on my time.  But yes that is that, and now this again, the PMS I don't mind, but the sinus attacks that doesn't want to go away, and leaving me sneezing and a nasal drip that is worse then ever.

Okay, I think my body this move so I couldn't go through with the boodie call I had placed to a friend that helped me out with my birthday last year.  Funny I didn't use it again seeing that he is good at what he does.  But then again, I am not fighting fire with fire because the guy that screwed around was left already, and by spiting him, I am planning of playing in his friends pool.  What, the best revenge is the revenge closest to home.  Which I also don't think I should go through, because I am not a vindictive person.  Ps...  by the time I read your responses I would've either not gone through with this or just gave in and do it, but if I do it, it isn't because I am being spiteful, but actually like the person.

I actually drove a few long distances, as in Cape Town if you drive more then 40km you are driving longish distance, lets see that is 25miles.  But I did two trip where the going was 100miles so a round trip was 200miles.  That was actually fun to see my car doing these distances as, I barely do 17 miles round trip per day.  But if I drive a distance to go calm down I do between 30-50miles on a calm down, I will even consider a drive of around 75miles round trip as a good calm down session.

Talking about calm down session, I found out and instead of crying or punching someone, I took a drive to the beach and had a nice night walk on the beach.  And before anyone starts shouting at me for going to the beach on my own.  I went to the beach that has constant traffic till around 04:00.  And the time that I was there was between 19:00 and 22:00.  So clearly the beach was not full but still had a large volume of people either on the beach or on the road not too far away.  Not that I was looking at the amount of traffic on the beach.  So I did my nature thing to bring my spirit into it zen space.

What this dating experience told me is, you never know the person until they show their true colors, and if you notice it don't be afraid to confront it.  But as Trans Females, we should know this, our muscle mass is way less then what it was, and if you know the guy is volatile and might beat you, don't do it as your safety is of more importance.  Then rather just leave the guy and steer clear of all the places you frequented, maybe that was just his way of hiding you from his family and friends.  But if you were introduced to family and friends, then you weren't the sideline, just screwed around on, and I don't know which is worse.  Because we have similar friends from the start, I'm not relinquishing my friends to him, as I've had them longer then him.  He also isn't distancing himself from them, so I keep my smile on my face and not even acting happy, because I am happy this happened while it was still in its infancy and not super serious.  Well three months is long for me to be in a relationship that isn't platonic.

Well, I have said a bit more then what I thought I would say, so have a good evening people, I'm off and out of here.

Cheers my lovelies

Michele