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Spinning my wheels

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By TiffanyS

· 2,119 views

So recently i've taken some big steps in my transitioning process. Telling people in my family trying to figure out my finances and everything and getting ready for hormones. I decided that it would be a good idea to set up a time line in the future. I read it was a good idea on tsroadmap and thought i should do the same. I have it all laid out and if anyone wants to see it i would be happy to either post it or send it to their email. but thats not really the point why im writing this blog entry.

Basically i feel like a lot of the transition process is a hurry up and wait kind of thing. Like i am trying to raise enough money so im not living paycheck to paycheck and to get ready to transition and save up money for srs and everything in case i can't get a job as a girl. Im in therapy and started electrolysis and just waiting another month till i can begin hormones. My big problem is that I really just want the transition period to go by very quickly. I know im being rather juvinle and kinda a brat but i just don't want to wait to see the results from the hormones. I want to be living as a full time woman with everything by the time im 30, which seems really quick because i turn 27 in october. I want to live my life as a woman as soon as possible because to be honest i really want my life to start now. Im sick and tired of living life as a gender that i do not associate with. I'm living my life as much as i can right now as a woman but its hard when you have to do sooo many steps to cover up your maleness.

Thank you all for reading, i know i can be a little bit of a whiner or baby but i really don't have many other places to vent. thanks again

<3

Tiff

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    • 3 Comments

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    Guest ValerieMae

    Guest ValerieMae

    Guests

    Relax hun. I began hormones in late 2008, at the age of 25. Now, at 27, I have lived, trouble free, as a genetic woman oth socially AND at work, without a single second glance. It does feel tense at first, but trust me when I say it happens fast before you know it. Just relax and enjoy the journey.

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    • CarolineTyler

    Members

    Why wait for the effects of hormones before starting your RLE? I'm now 14 months into my RLE, won't be starting hormones till October at the earliest. My personal time-line is to be recognised legally as female by the time I'm 50 (Oct 2011) - If I had waited for hormones I would have absolutely no chance of making that.

    The hormones can make a lot of difference to how you feel about yourself, but they often make a whole lot less difference on how others see you, that is all about confidence.

    My 2 pennys worth.

    Caroline x

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    • amie

    Members

    Tiffany,

    I am also anxious about hormones but I have realized that there is a lot we can do without them. If you can gain self-confidence to present yourself as you are then you will never be dependent on hormones in case for some reason you can't continue the therapy. Not only that, you can start going out as a woman right away. You might start out in an area where people don't know you. Believe in yourself and that there is more to you than your appearance. Just do your best to get out there more and when the hormones kick in your transition can be that much smoother. I wasn't sure I could do it either, but every week I have been gaining more self-confidence and I have finally accepted the fact that many people are not comfortable with how they look but they go out in public out of necessity and eventually they just get used to it. For me plucking out my beard hair gave me the kick start I needed.

    Amie

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