So more talking occurred, and it seems that making moving the focus is pretty much the desired outcome.  Which will mean a lot of job hunting on Nikki's part, and packing/cleaning/repair work on mine.  And a discussion that I'm not overreacting if Nikki wants this to happen.  Now is the time we have to do all the preparation work, so that if things do fall into place we are ready and not having a financial crisis making this happen.  So Nikki got on board with my 'we prep now, since either way it will work out whether we go/stay" and we started today.

The cons:

• Having to sell a house.  My paralytic terror that no one will buy this hosue and how to we afford two.  I know I could rent it out, but that is scary too.  LOL
• Potentially having to separate for a while, I live up here he lives there during the week.  Having to stay with my mom most likely, I hate being alone in the house at night.  Like possibly phobic level hate, still trying to work out what my issue here is. 
• Living in a strange place.  Even though I moved here from New Jersey, I spent summers here with my grandparents, so was already very familiar with the town.  This will be the first time in my life I move to a place I'm unfamiliar with.
• So much work to prep this place for sale and move.
• Won't be able to hop up to the Toledo zoo every time I get a whim.

The Pros -

• One of my closest friends lives there.  Getting to hang out with her irl more instead of phone/virtual will rock.
• Distance between me and the last of my relatives in the town. 
• Lower mortgage payment, they got hit hard by the housing bubble bursting and didn't recover as well, so we have quite a few options that lower our overall expenses and open up more fun things.
• Nikki possibly getting a job with normal hours and not having to get up at o'dark of the morning.
• A larger city increases the likelihood of meeting people with common interests.  And if I'm remembering properly there was a trans group down there for Nikki.  I have to look that back up, I may be confusing it with the city an hour further down the highway.
• Shaves two hours off our annual summer drive to join the friends, and two hours off the biannual cruise drive.  Could possibly restore cruising to annual despite my not working. 
• Bigger population area means more pokemon in pokemon go.  (I know, I'm a goofy nerdgirl). 
• It's 45 minute drive to another group of our friends, instead of an hour and a half. 
• If it's still available after we sell this house they had a great house for a really good price.

So obviously doing whatever we need to do to secure a new job for Nikki there and moving is in our best interests.  I just wish you could push a button and just be settled and done with it.  So many things can go wrong with this 'new life' idea.  He may not get a job, the house may not sell forever, trump may blow us all up, another back to the stone age storm could blow through the state.

Wish us luck I guess.