Hi everyone remember me, its your girl tiff. Im still around even though I haven't been able to post anything or respond to messages. First of all I had to switch jobs again, not because of me being trans but because the general stress of the job just got a little too much for me. Basically it boils down to this, I was working close to 50 hours of week, they never sent me a schedule till two days before the week started so I couldn't ever plan anything with anyone, I was constantly called to pick up extra shifts (not really given a choice to take it or not, I just had to), and I only made $10 per hour and hadn't gotten a raise in 2.5 years and only got 20 hrs of vacation. So I struggled and found a different job (even though its still as a male) at a gas station working 2nd and 3rd shifts for a little less than what I was making working for my last job but after 3 months I will get a raise and I will be really close to what I was making before I quit. Which is basically the main reason I haven't been around. I have basically been working 3 jobs because my newest job hired me right away so they were training me, I was working at the security company, and working a job at the mall everyday. Yeah so basically I've been exhausted cuz everyday I end up working about 16 hours everyday.

Working so much has gained me a good amount of money but a lot of that has gone to regular bills, doctor bills, hormones, and other misc expenses but I think I finally did enough to get ahead, and with my tax return which will set me up REALLY well thankfully. But thats if everything works out the way I plan (which rarely happens).

Other than that Ive been on hormones for two months and the changes are very welcome. My skin is much softer than before, I have some minor breast growth, some of the fat in my body is starting to redistribute around my hips and butt, and my hair has become softer. I haven't really experienced many mood swings which is really nice cuz i dont want to be a mess. I have noticed that I tend to cry a little easier than before which is really nice to be in touch with my emotions.

Since I've been so busy a lot of my transition has slowed a little. I haven't seen my therapist in about a month, I haven't had a chance to go to electrolysis in a while either because of lack of money and lack of time, and I havent been able to express my fem side as much. But since one job will be ending on thanksgiving, I'll have much more time for myself and be able to be myself and make myself happy.

While that is all good news, not all is good in my life. A few months ago I came out to my parents and they were accepting, they weren't super supportive but they said they wanted to see me happy and they knew i've been struggling with this for a long time. Well that was awesome, but when it slipped at dinner when my brother was home, everything went terrible. He called me all these names and said I should be committed cuz "no sane person would want to change like that". He stormed out and I was crushed, my mom comforted me and my dad tried to talk to my brother but it didn't really help. A few hours later, my brother called my dad and basically gave them an ultimatum. He said he would never come home as long as I was there presenting as a woman. This put my parents in a terrible position and I knew they were crushed and conflicted by what happened, so I made the decision to leave and find a place to stay for a while. I hate to see my parents suffer over this and i figure if I leave for a while maybe my brother will come around to understanding just a little, and I can stay in touch with them somehow. The only problem is finding a place to go and affording it.

Well thats all I can think for an update right now. Im gonna try super hard to post more and become more a part of the community again. I've missed everyone and hope that whatever I post can help anyone.