So much is falling away , like sand through my hand , where does it all go ?

It seems to me that you're stressing out, putting to much pressure on yourself.

We have to shelve bits of knowledge while we concentrate on our current life. Eventually, though, new information enters the system and sparks the memory of prior knowledge and when the two fit together, the AHA moment occurs. Take it easy for awhile. Experience, both personal and not, indicate we most often get the results we want when we stop trying to hard to get them.

you are probably correct , I have always mind overloaded myself I am surprised I havent had a nervous breakdown yet , I try not to let to much distract me or consume my thoughts and as of late taking these anti-depresants I cant think of a damn thing nor do I have any feelings toward anything , goto get this adjusted this is rediculous I want the anxiety and depression to be managed not turn me into a mindless Zombie , Oh well another trip to the doctors office and get this stuff worked out , Hugs Thanks and you take care and be well and happy . XXX Steph

 i took a very deep look at your pic, i can see things other people do not,it has to do with a persons energy that can not be seen by most people, kind of like the aura concept,and it does show the deeper parts call them a soul vision. when we were chatting earlier today i caught a bit of that energy from you, some that carried your fears and your inner needs not spoken about because that need is something you fear more than other more tangible aspects the much deeper part of your soul that hides behind your eyes. not to expect this to make sense to you or perhaps you feel a little wonder at thinking what do you mean by that? i am i guess a soul reader as it is at times called,  i can feel things unseen in people,what makes you tick you might imagine it to be,  i am not perfect but might seem insightful from time to time, some is because of my spiritual nature, i have been told i am an empath and can at times cut through   even very deep hidden parts of people,nothing of a judgemental nature. just the parts where the old pain resides. i am aware of how pain can etch into peoples lives and effect actions that might seem not to effect your perceptions when that old pain does play a part even when you do not acknowledge it. just take this with a large grain of salt. i do not mean to go where i should not go i just see things as i said,and i see in you more than you would admit to,your world view is colored by old actions by others and yourself as well. i enjoyed our chat earlier and wish you to have a good future ahead of you. ok i will stop now, i think i might be intrusive now,and i do not want to breach your comfort zone.

yours in friendship Christina(my real name) but not my birth name anunitu is my goddess name that i take to honor my goddess.

i hope we can again chat more