I spent all of yesterday just studying makeup techniques and looking at clothes. I have so much to learn that I don't even know where to start. I just keep going with whatever feels right at the moment. I bought a ton of stuff from beauty.com yesterday...lotions, hope in a jar, body wax, etc.. I have already spent $500 this week on clothes and beauty supplies. And there is so much more to get...

I watched a video by Princess Joules on her makeup collection...oh my gosh, would I love to have all that. She must have $20,000+ of stuff. You can check out her video here...she is so pretty!

So yesterday, when I got into the shower, I noticed I was naturally just cupping my breasts. Then when I got out of the shower, I was holding a towel to my breasts (like when you see a woman get out of the shower do...I had never thought about this until I caught myself) and it took me a bit to realize that all of these things were just coming so naturally...I am so happy!

I also read about people using hypno videos to help them with their transition. So I tried it! I quickly found out that there are two types of feminine hypno out there: 1. either the hypno that makes you focus on your feminine qualities OR 2. getting you mentally prepared to perform sexual acts on men. I am really not interested in getting mentally ready for sex with men. I am just focused on my own being and I don't need sex with anyone right now. I will admit I did kind of enjoy the sexual hypno videos/mp3's, but it was really a distraction from improving myself. Although I consider myself a woman, I don't have an attraction to men. I don't think that its required to be a woman. That doesn't mean things can't change or I wouldn't consider it, the attraction just isn't there right now. I don't know if that is something that usually changes as you transition, but I would like to hear other's thoughts and experiences on that subject.

On Friday, when I get off of work, I will be trying to accomplish something I once set out to do, but couldn't....having what they call a Super-O. I have an aneros that is supposed to stimulate your g-spot until you orgasm without even touching yourself. I tried it once because I was just kind of curious if it was true or not, but I had no luck. I really want to be able to have my first female orgasm...let's hope it happens tomorrow! I keep hearing that its possible and I even saw a video of a person convulsing in pleasure...please let that be me. I guess once you figure it out how to make it happen, its much easier everytime after that....its the first one that is tough.

Anyways, I hope everyone is doing great. Stay safe and take care!

Until next time,

Amber