As some of you might know, I had my sixteen year old sister down at my place for about a week. The reason I did this was simple. She needed out.

I look at my little sister and see a perfect replica of me at her age. Shy, outcasted, punk, stylish, misunderstood, and above all...depressed. She'd decided that eating is not something she HAS to do, and has resorted to eating about once a day, or even less on occasion. She hides in her room, away from the world. Not that I can blame her....my mother is...well...my mother. She doesnt understand these things, is rather demanding and controlling, and does not understand people like me or my sister AT ALL.

So, for a week with me she went.

I spoiled her ROTTEN. She deserved it! Though she fought it at first, telling me to stop buying things for her, I knew she liked it. Shirts and necklaces of her favorite band, a poster, new jewelry, new clothes, etc. I took her out to dinner a few times, we (including my bf who adores her) went out to the movies together...We had fun!

By the time it was time to bring her home, she had emerged from her shell, been eating regular meals, and was getting a full night's sleep.

But as we climbed into the truck to make the three hour drive to bring her home...she switched back again.

She became reserved, fearful, shy...depressed. I literally cried as we drove away, and she cried in my arms because she didnt want me to leave her. We've never had that sort of relationship before, where she were comfortable enough to do that with me. I promised her to be back in a few weeks...I'm taking her for a whole MONTH. I did NOT give my mother an option on this.

But in this situation, other situations arose. First of all....my support from my family..is false.

It had been revealed to me that though, to my face, my mother and siblings are supportive of my transgender lifestyle and seem happy that I'm happy....theyre talking bad behind my back. Apparently, they have been saying rude comments about me to people, saying I'm doing this "just for the attention" and that it's not a phase indeed...but a desperate cry for mental help and attention. The news hurt...a lot.

The support I thought I had, the understanding I were sure they possessed....was all false. None of it were sincere. They're laughing at me....

During the visit while bringing my sister home...I noticed their behaviour towards it. The little comments here and there, the mentions and giggles about my changes in appearance...my older sister is now dressing up even more and hanging all over my boyfriend. As if to say "Your girlfriend turned into a guy, but I'm still a girl so look at me instead". It hurts...so bad...

On top of that, not once did they ask my little sister "did you have fun?" or "what did you do down there?" or even an innocent "hey, we missed you!" It broke my heart to see her cast in the shadows.

Just like I was.

But again, another situation has been a plague in my mind.

Sisterhood vs. Brotherly love.

My little sister knows that I am transgendered, and she is TOTALLY cool with it. She supports it 150%, and even got excited for me when someone called me Sir at the store.

But the things I used to do that were deemed "Sisterly love" might no longer be appropriate?

For instance, the hugs all the time I assume are alright. But now people think we're a couple...

We've always smacked eachother and pinched and fooled around..but now that I look like a teen guy, it just looks like a dude hitting on her or being a bully. And people look at us funny instead of the classic eyeroll of "oh theyre sisters being sisters, no biggy"

And now one of the bigger ones. Laying together. When we were younger, we used to share a bed. Which was no problem, and we still occasionally will share a bed (both clothed of course) while shes on the computer or we're looking stuff up or something.

Well in this instance, I'd fallen asleep, and cuddled up behind her, and my arm draped over her waist. I didnt think anything of it, she didnt seem to mind, etc.

But it were mentioned to me later by someone else that me being male, that might no longer be appropriate. I'd love some advice on this, if anyone has any. I love reading the comments and such!

What things might a sister be okay to do, that is no longer "okay" for a brother?

I'd look to my brother for this advice but he's less than enjoyable to talk to, and doesnt fully approve of my gender transition.

Love to hear your thoughts,

Warren

P.S.

I now have the date to see my therapist for the first time ever. The 18th o.o I'm nervous!

(Photo is on top of one of the Twin Mountains near where my old hometown is)