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Ups and Downs like a lifelong Roller Coaster


WarrenG

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Today I had another doctors appointment, which is my regular monthly thing.

I assume she were happy with what was going on, since she said she doesnt need to see me for another two months ^_^

I've officially gone from 225-230 pounds, all the way down to 214 :D She wants to see me down at 210 or lower by the end of Janurary. GAME ON!

So I kicked off my challange....with a bowl of ice cream. Darn it, I'm so bad at this >.<

We talked for a while about the gender thing, and she got me seriously thinking about the name change process, so I did some looking into it tonight.

Did you know it costs over 110.00$ to do a legal name change, and you have to have a court date?! Plus they legally HAVE to post it in the paper (-_- yay.) and the judge can just up and decide NOT to grant it, but you still have to pay.

What the flippernuts?!

But....I guess it would be worth it, afterall. But I dont want to even try and change my name until I at least have top surgery. There's no point having a male name when you have breasts. Seriously.

Today I had an interesting development.

A girl kept watching me from a table as I was working, and kept acting like she wanted to ask me something. But she kept hesitating, and changing her mind. When she finally came over to talk to me, I were surprised by her question.

"No offense but...are you a guy or a girl?"

How do you answer a question like that? When you're still legally and technically one gender, but desperate to identify as the opposite, yet dont want too many people to know about it yet.....what the heck do you say to that?

I was kind of nervous about it and stuttered out a quick "Technically girl...why?"

To which she responded "Bummer. You would have been a cute guy. I'm not into girls though." and walked away.

Uh, what? Wait, what!

In one aspect, I found it somewhat flattering and rather amusing, and it made me laugh a bit. I thought it was hilarious, and loved it.

But then I told my boyfriend.

You know that look on someones face when you say you have bad news and that curling of the nose as they listen to something they need to do? That was his response.

Kind of like "Ugh....this again....Dont like it."

It was rather disheartening to be excited that someone had to actually ask if I was a girl or not, and have that hope that I look like a guy a bit for them to ask me to clarify; only for him not to share my enthusiasm and kind of shrug it off.

Feels like I'm the only person who showed up to a birthday party, and its my own birthday.

Kind of sucked.

I guess I'll just to deal with it...

Otherwise it was a pretty good night, I suppose.

Hey, at least its friday :P

Tomorrow I got to change the oil in my car, check the battery power, get a light checked, return my broken ipod, and work for a friend of mine around her house.

I think I work 7 days a week and no one told me.

Warren

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"You know that look on someones face when you say you have bad news and that curling of the nose as they listen to something they need to do? That was his response.

Kind of like "Ugh....this again....Dont like it."" --Warren

That doesn't sound good. Even though you've mentioned the two of you have about your true identity before, maybe it's time to do it again. And maybe this time, you could ask your b/f to consider couples counselling. At this point, I don't see him taking this seriously. It almost sounds as if he thinks this will go away. After a while, his indifference and dismissal of your true self could cause you to begin to resent his attitude, and eventually resent him.

-Michael

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